A month ago, David Benkof presented me with an opinion piece he wrote slamming the “ex-gay” organization Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality (JONAH). It appeared to be useful information, but I refused to employ it in my efforts. Why?
Because, in my view, Benkof lacks character and cannot be trusted. Once upon a time, he was the openly bisexual founder of Q-syndicate, which provides the GLBT press with content. Then, he quit his job, became a born again Jew, changed his last name from Bianco to Benkof and claims to have given up sex with men. He went on to stab the GLBT community in the back and cozied up to the anti-gay industry.
Granted, I never liked this man. I met him at a National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association meeting in Chicago several years ago. I found him to be crass and lack class. He was an overbearing, insufferable, ill-mannered braggart with an ego the size of the Sears Tower. With a distaste for his personality, I simply smiled and walked away.
After Benkof became a “New Jew,” he moved to Las Vegas. I was to pass through on my “Anything But Straight” book tour. Through a respected intermediary, he tried to set up a lunch meeting and I refused. I did not like him when he was “out,” so I certainly had no use for him when he was “In.” (For the record, I’ve even dined with ex-gay leaders Randy Thomas and Alan Chambers, who are much better company than Benkof)
The last thing I was going to do was waste part of a day in Vegas with Bianco/Benkof. No thanks, get me to the pool and to the slot machines. Besides, the fake models of the Eiffel Tower and New York’s skyline were enough artifice in Las Vegas, without bringing Benkof into the picture.
This year, Benkof has slithered back into the public eye, emerging as an anti-gay activist who poses as a pro-gay advocate. He has fancied himself a regular columnist with the GLBT press, even though this is not true. He has also been accused by more than one respected advocate of misrepresentation in interviews for his column.
Most important, this spotlight-seeking charlatan has been dishonest about his motives. For these reasons, I elected not to use his information about the ex-gay industry. I try to only quote sources that are known to be honest and have integrity. Mr. Benkof does not fit the bill. One just has to feel sorry for this poor, troubled soul who craves attention at all costs.
Today, Box Turtle Bulletin’s Timothy Kincaid wrote an excellent article exposing this fraud. I urge everyone to read it so they know the true David Benkof. Here is an excerpt:
Tags: Bianco, Box Turtle Bulletin, David Benkof, fraud, liar, phony, poseur, Timothy Kincaid, Wayne BesenBenkof is not swayed by logic. As Benkof argued in a chatroom debate over same-sex parenting:
However, my stance wouldn’t change even if 100 studies showed no differences in children of every family structure — because my beliefs are informed by a traditional Jewish worldview and its attitudes toward families and childrearing. But I want to ask you — would your stance change if 100 studies showed harmful effects in children raised without both a mother and a father?
You see, all of Benkof’s arguments have nothing to do with what he’s claiming in his writing. Benkof doesn’t care whether it could be proven by undeniable evidence that equality, marriage, children’s issues, the military, discrimination, and every other issue was without question on our side.
He’s not really debating policy, he’s pushing his religion.
And if Benkof were honest about his efforts, I would be fine. I have respect for those who live according to their religious constraints. And I don’t seek to diminish those who present their faith for others to consider.
But that isn’t what David is doing. He’s not presenting his articles of faith for consideration for cultural adoption. He’s seeking to advance the rules of his faith by making secular argument, and not being honest about it. Because pushing religion is viewed suspiciously, David Benkof has chosen to adopt artificial arguments. And an artificial identity. And artificial supporters.
I wonder if he thinks his God is pleased.
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ya know, this is a surprising parallel to the hispanic fable of “el murciélago” or “the bat” to make a long story short, the bat is punished in the story essentially for being two-faced and behaving like a mammal when it was convenient and behaving like a bird when it wasn’t. I can support an individual having radically different opinions from my own, that’s what’s great about the U.S. but clear, well supported evidence that this person is simply deceitful, well lets just say I’m glad he’s disavowed his Italian heritage because we have enough problems already, and that if fables really do parallel reality, this man will have a lot of explaining to do before things are said and done, not that I ever advocate violence or revenge, thats just the way these things tend to go…. god save his ignorant soul……
Comment by Eric — June 16, 2008 @ 3:59 pm
Ah, Wayne Besen doesn’t like my personality. Well, I’m not so impressed with his either. I know for a fact that some of his superiors at the Human Rights Campaign were horrified that he would take a camera into a gay bar to “expose” a closeted bar patron. When I joined the gay movement, the right to privacy was much more important to gays and lesbians than beating up religious people and trying to convince the world that we’re “equal” no matter who we hurt.
Besen’s lie about “choosing not to use the information” I provided him is galling, since the opinion piece I sent him in case he had a reaction was clearly marked “Do not cite or circulate.” The fact he apparently thinks he legitimately *could* have quoted it shows the limits of his integrity.
Besen thinks I don’t really write regularly for the gay press, despite my monthly column in the Dallas Voice and my writings for other LGBT publications in Oklahoma, Ohio, Florida, and Washington state. One of the 13 NGNG publications (the most important gay newspapers) that has run Besen’s column in the past recently invited me to write a serious of short opinion pieces exclusively for them. Won’t that be fun!
I have responded to Timothy Kincaid at length at Box Turtle Bulletin, should people want to read my reactions.
One more thing- Eric, I never disavowed my Italian-American heritage. In my Ph.D. program at New York University, I have done significant research and writing about Italian-Americans. The upcoming Encyclopedia of American Women will contain an entry on Italian-American women that I wrote. I am proud of the achievements and contributions of my Italian-American forebears, and hope to continue to help educate all people about Italian-American history.
Comment by David Benkof — June 16, 2008 @ 5:05 pm
Ah… ho svelato l’arcano… infatti sei fiero di essere italiano, ecco xke’ hai cambiato il tuo cognome…. anyways, now that I’m done being snarky, I don’t mean to get in a game of he said she said… I’m well aware that all sides possess their own biases, however, including mr besen, but I’m sorry, the idea that someone is against the advancement of their own ilk (i.e. gays against gay marriage) is simply bizarre, anyways, as far as your credentials are concerned, I couldn’t give a flying fig, I’ve met wise teenagers, and college professors that didn’t have a lick of sense. As far as your journalism career, I hate to inform you, but freelance journalism, or any journalism consists of many more shades of grey than dentistry… I mow my lawn, does that mean I’m a gardener? Anyways, the main point I want to make is that I’m absolutely sickened with the way both sides liberal and conservative people treat such a divine combination of science and psychology which is sexual orientation with such matter of fact coldness as if it were well understood. I think it terrible, that you would have such a set in stone view DNA, not that the left is much better, considering that we can have a rather militant responses.. but the fact remains DNA is still, relatively speaking, poorly understood. Anyways, the ONLY reason that I even maintain a “liberal” world view on homosexuality is that the conservative population seems to have forgotten (in spite of my being fiercely christian) that in the end there is absolutely no empirical way of interpreting scripture, and for that reason, my biblical view that god not only condones, but celebrates love among all people, is equally valid as anyone who condemns me to hell… The fact of matter is, I’m happy to be a resident, and in not too much time a citizen of italy, because in spite of the vatican, I would feel far more comfortable expressing my view on the bible here than in my dearly missed, but tragically backward home of Texas. So the question remains, whose beliefs are trampling on whose? I would have been most unwelcome in my baptist church for expressing this belief, and somehow they’re the victims of my heathening ways…. give me a break. I get so frustrated… only humanity, liberal or conservative, could take such a wonderfully beautiful and simple thing as love, and turn it into this mess….. the fact is, I can handle people not supporting my love, this ain’t American Idol, and I don’t need 15 million votes to feel okay about who I love…. but what I cannot support is that I get treated differently because we happen to have the same genitalia, and even more than that, I could never stand idly by while anyone, journalist or not even whispers that “conversion therapy” is plausible…. in spite of having great parents that love and support who I am, and having never used “conversion therapy” (or conversion torture, whichever you prefer) my years in the closet were nothing less than hellish, and I will fight tooth and nail to stop anyone who tries to exacerbate that pain, especially when they simultaneously corrupt the name of science and religion, two of the greatest things god gave humanity. Everyone should have the right to love whomever they want, everyone should have the right to believe whatever they want, and not be treated badly because of it… it was this crazy idea people had, It used to be called america, hopefully when my grandparents immigrated there, it was in fact that way. I’m sorry Mr Bianco, you have every right to disagree, hate and despise me and my “lifestyle” if you so wish, but you have no right to feign being the mouth piece of MY god, neither do you have the right to impede MY RIGHT to have a husband, and have him recognised as such, and lastly you have no right to use your clout as journalist, doctor or otherwise, to discredit what I believe, I might be just a po’ dunk little college student, but I’m smart, and more importantly I KNOW what I believe….. do you?
Comment by Eric — June 16, 2008 @ 6:34 pm
Isn’t it hilarious, because like attention whore “not gay” former gay porn actor Rod Majors, this Benkof guy seems to find each and every blog which mentions his name (TWO, PHB, D. Savage, etc.).
If people are serious about putting this guy out of business (and rightfully so), why not send the links to his smarmy/holier-than-thou comments to the GLBT papers for whom he writes?
I don’t read the Dallas Voice, but I’ll be sure to pick up a copy the next time I’m in the gayborhood, and will do just that.
Comment by Scott — June 16, 2008 @ 9:31 pm
“I’ve been trying to think about the accomplishments of gays in Israeli history. The only two things I can think of are 1. they defiled the holy city of Jerusalem with their provocative and pointless “World Pride” celebration in 2006; and 2. they won Israel the 1998 Eurovision Song Contest with Dana International’s song “Diva.” That means gays have done one large horrible thing and one small nice thing for Israel. Does that deserve a monument? Or am I missing something? What have been the contributions of gay men to Israeli history?”
Talk about a self-hater. (If he still declares himself a member of and spokesman for “our community,” that is.)
Comment by Emily K — June 16, 2008 @ 10:10 pm
First of all, I’m no “activist”.
And I have a good enough argument - your own words, especially over at PHB. I don’t even have to try to “silence” you - you do a good job working against yourself.
Besides, I don’t trust anyone who brags he doesn’t have homosex anymore. That usually means dicks aren’t good enough for him, and 747’s are preferred.
Comment by Scott — June 17, 2008 @ 3:02 am
No David, you can’t win because of the whole Sears Tower sized ego thing.
Comment by Boo — June 18, 2008 @ 8:04 am
[…] Besens post on David Bianco (Benkof)*, he says he’s met with you and Alan… Was he actually decent and respectful, if I may […]
Pingback by ETC: Everyday Thoughts Collected » Blog Archive » Face to Face with Wayne Besen — June 18, 2008 @ 1:41 pm
Mr. Benkof:
You are not a gay advocate, nor or you a legitimate gay journalist. You are misrepresenting yourself and allegedly twisting the words of your interview subjects - and thus you have no respect or credibility in the GLBT community. The more people get to know you, the less respect you will receive. What you write is essentially meaningless, as no one believes it.
With your unearned arrogance and unbridled solipsism I’m not surprised you made your way to this site. After all, you are the kind of self-absorbed character who Google’s himself every six minutes. When you see your name in print, I’m sure it turns you on even more than the sex you allegedly gave up.
David, please go get professional help as soon as possible. It is apparent to everyone but you, that you are an extremely troubled individual. There are good doctors who can assist you.
Comment by Wayne Besen — June 19, 2008 @ 7:50 pm
David:
“If I have no respect or credibility in the LGBT community, why would I be invited to speak at a gay conference with absolutely no restrictions on what I can say?”
David, truth be told, you are invited to speak here because you are a stage horse and a novelty act.You will provide the conference with good entertainment and thus, even I welcome you on such a panel.
Interesting, but you keep talking about all of your columns. I have yet to see them. And, any place you are writing, it is due to misrepresentation. I doubt you will be writing for any gay publication a year from now.
As far as you having issues, it is obvious to everyone but you. Others view you as a little unstable and certainly uncomfortable in your own skin. I really hope you get the professional help you need. If you want the name of a good provider, perhaps I can help find one.
I don’t hate you Mr. Bianco. I just find you difficult to deal with while you remain untreated.
Comment by Wayne Besen — June 20, 2008 @ 11:44 am
Wayne, I hesitate to say this, but I’m worried about your neshama (soul). The fact is, every time you eat something without a hechsher (kosher certification), or spend money or drive or ride on Shabbat, or especially when you engage in mishkav zachar (gay sex), you are inflicting harsh damage on your precious Jewish spirit. Mishkav zachar is such a horrible sin that you are commanded to submit to being killed (yehareg v’al yaavor) rather than committing it. May I help you see the error of your ways? Where do you live? I can find you a Chabad or Orthodox shul (synagogue) nearby. Can I recommend some good books? There are a few that will show you irrefutably that Hashem (G-d) exists, wrote the Torah, and commanded you and me to obey all of the Oral and Written Law. I’m worried about you. I don’t want you to end up in gehennom (Hell). Will you let me help you?
Do you like being talked to that way? Because I sure don’t. And that’s how you come off. There is far more evidence that you are a Jew in gross violation of Jewish law than there is that I am an untreated case of mental illness.
Oh, and if you’re really serious about your NLGJA comment, please write Eric Hegedus to ask if indeed my invitation is for me to be a stage horse and a novelty act. If he says you are correct and that is the goal, let me know and I’ll cancel my flight and save a few hundred bucks. And I will thank you for the information. If, however, he doesn’t, then I’m going to trust him that he considers me the kind of person who could legitimately join his organization and not you who have already made your distaste for me clear. After all, he is the president and you are, well, you.
Comment by David Benkof — June 20, 2008 @ 8:48 pm
David, would you like to tell us a little more about the panel you’re speaking on at the NLGJA convention?
Comment by werdna — June 21, 2008 @ 6:11 pm
Mr. Bianco:
Please state which parts of the following comments you made that you beleive to be true.
1) The fact is, every time you eat something without a hechsher (kosher certification), or spend money or drive or ride on Shabbat, or especially when you engage in mishkav zachar (gay sex), you are inflicting harsh damage on your precious Jewish spirit.
2) Mishkav zachar is such a horrible sin that you are commanded to submit to being killed (yehareg v’al yaavor) rather than committing it.
3) I’m worried about you. I don’t want you to end up in gehennom (Hell). Will you let me help you?
Thank you for your cooperation.
Comment by Wayne Besen — June 22, 2008 @ 1:07 am
My God, Mr. Bianco is trolling everywhere…
He’s laughed off the stage at all the gay blogs, and he gets banned from the ex-gay ones…it’s really self-destructive behavior.
How odd.
I’m not one to agree with Randy Thomas about, um, anything, but his orthodox Jewish friend was right to suggest that Mr. Bianco’s words are not those of one who is secure in his faith.
I remember the days when I immersed myself in one of the most oppressive, literalist, reality-denying sects of my OWN faith, in a desperate play to please God, oh my self-hatred ran that deep.
It makes me sad to watch it in real time, on the internet, with popcorn.
Comment by Evan — June 22, 2008 @ 2:44 pm
Wayne,
I agree with you that this guy won’t be writing for gay publications for much longer.
A person can only shout their “so do you support NAMBLA?” schtick for so long before their act gets as tired as Carrot Top’s stand-up comedy routine.
Comment by Scott — June 22, 2008 @ 2:59 pm
“But I would never, ever use mental illness as a weapon against someone whose politics, religious practices, or ideas I disagreed with.”
Benkof caught in a lie right here, Wayne.
Allegedly men (and women) who prey on underage children are considered “mentally sick”, right?
Then why is it every time somebody counters Benkof, it NEVER fails that he pops off with his “so do you support NAMBLA?” line.
Sounds to me that Benkof is using mental illness as a weapon against people he disagrees with politically. And he does it quite often. Last week, I saw him do this to Pam Spaulding and other gay people online.
Not to mention it’s pretty immature of him, being a so-called “professional” and all. Ever since the gay community long ago told NAMBLA to stop hiding behind us, they’ve went underground, if not defunct. The gay community never tried to associate with NAMBLA - it’s NAMBLA who tried latching onto us - and they failed.
It wouldn’t surprise me if Benkof is one of the few remaining members of that silly group, as much as he talks about them.
Comment by Scott — June 22, 2008 @ 3:11 pm
Wayne-
I happen to believe every word I wrote, as does virtually every Orthodox Jew. Please note that I never talked that way to any other Jew who did not publicly accuse me of having an untreated mental illness. But it all represents what I believe - and what your ancestors believed.
Evan-
Does Truth Wins Out’s Michael Airhart know that you disagree with him that it was Randy who was wrong and not me? I’m very curious.
Scott-
Let’s see which one of us is a liar. Please link us to the site in which I say pedophiles are mentally sick. I think pedophilia is a moral, certainly not a medical problem.
You have misquoted me saying “so do you support NAMBLA?” as google demonstrates. If I am wrong, give me the link to where I said that. If you were paraphrasing me, everyone knows you don’t use quotation marks with a paraphrase. So either you’re a liar or a bad journalist. Take your pick.
As for NAMBLA, I only bring it up when people associate me with disreputable people like “ex-gays,” which is precisely the same strategy as associating gays with NAMBLA. Yes, there are some traditionally religious gays who believe in the “ex-gay” movement. Similarly, there are some gay people who support NAMBLA. There is zero evidence I am “ex-gay,” so if Pam Spaulding is going to call me ex-gay, I will call her a NAMBLA supporter.
Your claim that “The gay community never tried to associate with NAMBLA” is simply nonsense. I have tons of data that shows how a significant subset of the gay community in America has always supported adult-child sex. I almost never bring this up myself, but you seem to claim (without any evidence) that it’s not true, and I would be willing to demonstrate to you and other readers of this blog the historical entanglement between gays and pedophiles in America - if you want me to. Or if you don’t want to, I totally don’t mind because unlike Pam Spaulding I think it’s usually wrong to attack a whole group of people because of the misdeeds of a few. It’s completely up to you, whatever you prefer.
One more thing - My name is David Benkof. If a conservative Christian were to call RuPaul or Elton John by their birth names, you would immediately consider it homophobic. I know you guys seem to think you’re “exposing” me by calling me by the name I use with part of my family and certain friends, but it’s no secret. It is public knowledge that in November 2003 I took my mother’s maiden name - essentially a feminist step that in a different man you would praise. So I’m not going to correct you for calling me by the name I don’t use much anymore, but I will point out how bad it makes you look.
Comment by David Benkof — June 22, 2008 @ 6:59 pm
Dear Mr. Bianco:
For the following two statements below, you are permanently banned from this website or any other owned by me. Promoting the outright murder of homosexuals in the name of religion and comparing us to child molesters is deplorable and unacceptable. This garbage you spew might work for your buddies on the extreme fringe right, but will not be tolerated or promoted here. This evidence, provided by your own words, may also be presented to your alleged publishers to see if you are a good fit for their organizations. Thank you for your honesty in revealing your true homicidal self.
1) “I have tons of data that shows how a significant subset of the gay community in America has always supported adult-child sex.”
2) Mishkav zachar is such a horrible sin that you are commanded to submit to being killed (yehareg v’al yaavor) rather than committing it.
Comment by Wayne Besen — June 22, 2008 @ 11:56 pm
Nice.
Comment by Evan — June 23, 2008 @ 2:56 am
Not a journalist here, much less a bad one LOL
From Pam’s blog:
“Is Pam a supporter of NAMBLA?”
http://www.pamshouseblend.com/showComment.do?commentId=65210
I’m sorry that what I initially quoted (”so do you support NAMBLA?”) is a far cry from what was really said.
And I never said that YOU said men and women who prey on children are mentally sick - unless your name is “Allegedly”. I was saying that’s the general consensus.
Who cares if somebody calls RuPaul by his real name? RUPAUL CHARLES, RUPAUL CHARLES, RUPAUL CHARLES. I have no idea what Elton John’s real name is, and couldn’t give a rats ass. I don’t buy his music; unless you count that 1997 CD single in tribute to Princess Di.
Are you sure you aren’t paranoid schizophrenic or something? It’s like you think up of things that supposedly would offend gay people. You probably also think gay people would start a riot if a conservative said Boy George is a mess. HE IS A MESS! I wish he would clean up his act, though. He’s way more talented than Elton!
And please don’t lecture us about pedophiles. I’ve watched about every episode of Dateline (thanks YouTube), and 9 out of 10 of the men arrested showed up for sex with a girl. Heterosexual men - some of them bringing their little kids along, and them seeing dad being arrested!!
OK, I’m done talking with you - you’re a sick person, take Wayne’s advice.
Good on you for blocking him, Wayne. Normally it would be better to keep entertainment like that around, but this guy is on the same level as Michael Glatze, in every sense.
Comment by Scott — June 23, 2008 @ 4:05 am
[…] movement, a petty, self-hating, ignorant Jew named Wayne Besen, has thrown down the gauntlet by banning me from his Web site for allegedly advocating the murder of homosexuals and comparing gay people to child molesters. As […]
Pingback by GAYS DEFEND MARRIAGE » Banned by Wayne Besen — June 23, 2008 @ 7:02 am
“movement, a petty, self-hating, ignorant Jew”
Wow…that’s from Bianco’s post re: Wayne.
There’s an old adage coming to me…something about a self-hating pot…and a kettle…
That’s right, WAYNE is the one exhibiting self-loathing behavior. *Wink, Wink*
Time to stop feeding the troll.
Comment by Evan — June 23, 2008 @ 9:03 am
Mr. Biacno:
You have now been exposed. You have not been misrepresented. Thank you for expressing your views, so we now have them on public record. Your defense only weakened your case. Point proved. Case closed.
P.S. Yes, I will strike your comments. I hope you understand the meaning of banned.
Comment by Wayne Besen — June 23, 2008 @ 9:26 am
Dear petty, self-hating, ignorant Jew:
I have another piece on Benkof at the Box Turtle Bulletin. This time I have Benkof debating Biano about the Stonewall Riots. He’s switched sides, but I think he was all about spin and dishonesty even before he became Benkof.
http://www.boxturtlebulletin.com/2008/06/23/2259
Sad, really.
Frankly I’d rather be one of us petty, self-hating, ignorant folk than to go through life with all the bitterness, anger, nastiness, and dishonesty that Benkof has made into his nest.
Comment by Timothy Kincaid — June 23, 2008 @ 4:27 pm
Oh look, it seems that a subset of heterosexuals also supports adult-child sex. They may not be as organized as NAMBLA, but does that make their acts any less reprehensible?
So what does all this mean? Some gay people and some straight people are pedophiles. What is also reprehensible is using this unfortunate fact to promote various (usually anti-gay) agendas.
Comment by fannie — June 23, 2008 @ 8:53 pm
[…] religion teaches him that, “when you engage in mishkav zachar (gay sex), you are inflicting harsh damage on your precious Jewish spirit. Mishkav zachar is such a horrible sin that you are commanded to […]
Pingback by Anything but Straight: Extremist Makeover « Nottington News — July 16, 2008 @ 4:53 pm
Wayne
It is so nice to see that we at politicalspecturm are not the only ones telling David to get help. He showed up threating Rob that if he gets insulted 50 times he is going to start writing again. Oh lawdy were we shaking in our boots.
When he first showed up some months ago it was attacking me because I am a Messanic Jew. I had no idea who David Bekof was nor did I care until he called my religon slimy.
We have spent the last 3 or 4 days trying to get David to get help. Our readers have been trying to get him to get help. He seems to be unable to focus on anything but my choice of religion. Then he trys to turn it around saying I am attacking and mocking him.
When I responded to his threats to Rob and his allies I got this response. (this is a short version believe me the attack got nastier.
“David Benkof said…
Oh, great! The “Messianic” “Jew” who declared he would never speak to me again has begun to speak to me again. It’s a shame you’re not a supporter of “marriage equality” or else your post would count as several needless insults toward my new point-system.”
I guess all we can do is keep exposing him for the true individual he is.
Scott:
David has written for the Dallas Voice but Im not sure if he does regular or not. He may not be after several of my friends saw the exchanges between myself others and him on our blog.
Have a great day
Comment by Justin — July 18, 2008 @ 9:24 am
The author of this article does not realize that making logical conclusions while engaging in homosexual activities could be as skewed as trying to navigate a yacht through a windy sea.
Comment by James — September 25, 2008 @ 4:29 pm
LOLZ! what a troll.. :¬p
Comment by Emily K — September 25, 2008 @ 5:54 pm
LOL Emily!!
Might I add, logical conclusions which engaging in any kind of “christian” activities doesn’t quite go hand-in-hand either.
Case in point, the past 8 years.
Anyone who believes “God wants me to be the leader/president/etc.” are the types you DON’T want leading you around.
Me, personally, would NEVER follow anyone who uses the bible as some kind of compass. That’s as stupid as Henny Penny, Ducky Lucky and crew following Foxy Loxy into the cave.
Comment by Scott — September 26, 2008 @ 7:48 am