Romney: We Lost Because College Girls Wanted Free Contraception

All we can do is be thankful that Mitt Romney will never get near the Oval Office.

In a bitter conference call explaining his blowout defeat, he seemed to suggest that the 47-percent of parasites (otherwise known as working or retired Americans) that he mentioned in a controversial fundraising speech during the campaign, all voted for Obama because he gave them free gifts. Portraying Obama as some kind of liberal welfare Santa Claus he said:

“…our strategy worked well with many people, but for those who were given a specific gift, if you will, our strategy did not work terribly well.”

Romney also seems to believe that he lost the college women’s vote because he wasn’t handing out condoms and birth control pills.

“With regards to the young people, for instance, a forgiveness of college loan interest, was a big gift,” he said. “Free contraceptives were very big with young college-aged women. And then, finally, Obamacare also made a difference for them, because as you know, anybody now 26 years of age and younger was now going to be part of their parents’ plan, and that was a big gift to young people. They turned out in large numbers, a larger share in this election even than in 2008.”

Oh, the horrors and immorality of women wanting to plan their family and poor people wanting to be able to see a doctor if they are sick!

If this schmuck would have won, the the middle class would have virtually disappeared and minorities would have been treated like extras in a 1950′s sitcom. Romney simply can’t dissolve from the national spotlight fast enough. This may be difficult for Mitt to take — but he only lost because no one could stomach him. He was simply an unlikable individual that no one trusted or revered, save a few high-placed Mormons in his inner-circle. The rest of America saw him as a phony slime ball who would say anything to get elected.

You’re done, Mitt. Exit stage left and carry on.