Here is a snapshot of a six month Truth Wins Out investigation into the life of John Paulk. The full story will break tomorrow on this site:
WARNING EXPLICIT LANGUAGE IN VIDEO
John and Anne Paulk were the king and queen of the so-called “ex-gay” industry. Anne had appeared in the Religious Right’s 1998 “Truth in Love” campaign with a full page ad in the New York Times headlined, “I’m living proof that Truth can set you free.” She was on the cover of Newsweek with her husband, John, who was the founder of Focus on 
the Family’s Love Won Out program and the Chairman of Exodus International. John had also appeared on Oprah, Good Morning America, and 60 Minutes, dissembling about how he prayed away the gay and married his “ex-lesbian” wife, Anne.
On Sept. 19, 2000 the lie abruptly ended when I photographed John in Mr. P’s, a Washington, DC gay bar.
Well, we thought the fraud had ended.
Paulk was interviewed by James Dobson on Focus on the Family radio, where the group claimed that Paulk had simply “slipped” into temporary sin. On the show, John plead for forgiveness and claimed that he had made a mistake by walking into “Satan’s Trap.”
A couple of years later, the Paulk family moved to Portland, Oregon where John started a new life as a chef and opened Mezzaluna Catering, which featured a staff of highly attractive male models. For years, the Paulks were left alone to move on with their lives.
However, they never really did move on. John spoke at a 2010 Evergreen “ex-gay” conference. Anne continued peddling the lie that one can “pray away the gay.”
Earlier this year, I debated Focus on the Family’s Timothy Dailey on a radio program. During the show, Dailey claimed that despite the Mr. P’s incident, the Paulk family was an example of an “ex-gay” success story and that John had returned to heterosexuality. This was odd, because people had contacted Truth Wins Out claiming that John Paulk was part of the gay night scene, with a special affinity for Silverado, a gay strip club.
In Sept. 2012, Anne Paulk helped found the Restored Hope Network, a group of “ex-gay” ministries that were defecting from Exodus because its leader, Alan Chambers, claimed that Exodus did not successfully convert homosexuals into heterosexuals. While speaking at the inaugural Restored Hope Network meeting, Anne misled the crowd by exploiting her crumbling marriage from the stage:
“I never thought I would be married and the mother of three sons,” she told the eager crowd mixed with anti-gay extremists and the hurting parents of gay children.
Anne’s version of their marriage was bizarre, because several people in Portland had told me they had recently split up.
Tired of the continuing lies, Truth Wins Out contacted John and asked him to come out with dignity, so his tale of change could no longer be used to justify anti-gay discrimination or promote “ex-gay” programs. We asked John to contact Focus on the Family and tell them the truth — that he was a gay man — so they would no longer promote his story.
John refused several offers to publicly tell the truth about his life on his own terms.
This reluctant investigation is an attempt to finally set the record straight about the con game being played by the Paulk family. John is gay. Anne is selling a bogus story of family bliss. Focus on the Family is misleading its members by misrepresenting the facts about their “ex-gay” poster-family.
The purpose of this investigation is to have the Religious Right stop falsely portraying the Paulk family as a model for sexual conversion. To ensure that no products that contain Paulk propaganda — which includes books and videos — are sold to innocent families, and to halt the fantasy that is now being peddled by Anne at the Restored Hope Network.
We hope that this investigation will entice the Paulk family to stop lying and for John to finally live openly and honestly. But, these are the Paulks and integrity is not something that appears to be in their DNA.
Thank you for exposing one of the most damaging and irresponsible tactics against LGBT acceptance. Too many young LGBT men and women are struggling enough without these lies.
Ugh! Timothy Dailey is still around after the lies he told. Figures.
John Paulk is a lie. He is not a heterosexual, as he claims, but he has caused great damage on gay population, even here, in Mexico. Protestant religions are raising here, and homophobia, too. Paulk is refered as “a former homosexual who, trough Bible and Jesus, is now heterosexual”, words more, words less. Protestantism is more and more visible here, but protestant pastors hide the true about people like Paulk, they say that he is an “ex homosexual”, but they do not say that he colored his hair in yellow and that he is a star in gay Discos (clubs). Maybe he can show us how to dance…
Great job Wayne. I’ve been wondering about Paulk ever since I read your book. And I knew things were up ever since I saw his Mezzaluna pictures of his “men of a certain aesthetic” as the one person in the video put it, so many years ago.
This might be an even bigger bomb than the Mr. P’s photo.
He was at the Eagle in Portland a couple weeks ago. My ex-boyfriend texts me whenever he sees Paulk at a homoseckshul establishment.
I remember intently when that magazine article came out. I’m a straight female whose life had been bruised up by an MOR relationship and all the false promises of the ex gay industry. Me and my BFF pored over it. Exodus was in its ascendency back then but our conclusion from the photos of that so-called couple in the magazine? There is no way on earth that those two are having good sex!” the photos radiated misery, not chemistry. I hope you scan them in for tomorrow’s article, so everyone can see the lies radiating from them.
It just strikes me as sad that, as he approaches 50, Paulk may still be stuck in adolescence, hitting on people like an awkward teenager, unable/unwilling to pick up some semblance of maturity and authenticity.
John Smid is a pretty good example of emerging from one long phase of life and pressing into another, not always easily or cleanly, but with a clear sense that the result is greater honesty, maturity and authenticity.
Good going, Wayne!
Bose, I think you have it exactly right with that interpretation.
I saw a Tweet by Pam Spaulding on this. Me to I am waiting for the big reveal. Did you catch him with his pants down?
Not to be confused with Johan Paulik. I don’t really know who that is – - – but I’ve heard. That’s about as believable as Paulk’s BS.
This story is very current and very newsworthy since John’s wife, Anne, is continuing to hawk the books claiming their marriage is a miracle when it’s actually a mirage. Anne is a board member of the newly formed “Restored Hope Network” which sells hate and lies about gay people in Third World nations where gays are being demonized and scapegoated for totally unrelated problems.
Anne Paulk never was a lesbian, in my opinion from reading her book. And John never changed into a heterosexual, according to the reports going back a dozen years.
The tragedy is that gays around the world will suffer due to the lies of the Paulk’s. John needs to come out of the closet and admit the obvious truth. Anne needs to step down from the horrible board of the Restored Hate Network.
All of this would be wonderful, but I don’t really believe that people who have this much invested in lying will ever own up to the truth. If you can manage that, Wayne, I will be even more impressed with you than I have been the past five years that I have been reading TWO.
John Paulk is in a tough spot. I’m sure he is trying to protect his kids and trying to “protect” Anne too with all the dissembling and avoidance of publicly acknowledging who he is. How ironic that the christianist culture that was supposed to set him free has made him a prisoner. I believe that he has made a journey to better self-awareness of who he really is as a gay man, and probably grown up in some important ways as well. He could have done the growing up without fundagelical religion, he just didn’t know how. Now I’m sure he feels stuck between a rock and a hard place.
John, now is the time to shake off the superstitions you embraced years ago, to accept yourself for who you are, and to become the best person you can be. It starts with truthfulness and an apology to those you have wronged by your words and actions. Kind of like repentance, a word I’m sure you are now familiar with. And the best apology you could make to gay and lesbian people all over the world is to renounce your former ex-gay lifestyle: the things you said about us and the things you did to us. We are a pretty forgiving community if people are sincere, an a lot of us will not hold a grudge. Think about it John. Life is too short to live lies. Take a risk for life.
Interesting note: John Paulk has deleted his Facebook page…
Michael: girding his loins, perhaps?
Why do I feel sorry for this weasel?
It would be a huge mistake to feel sorry for John Paulk. He was given multiple opportunities to come out with dignity and class. Or, at the very least renounce his “ex-gay” products so little kids would not read them and harm themselves.
He took no responsibility and felt little remorse. Instead, he posed as a victim when we reached out to him. Given that he had so many opportunities to tell the truth — and he’d prefer to let LGBT youth suffer by continuing his lie — the proper feeling in such circumstances should be contempt.
It did not have to go down this way — it was John Paulk’s choice.
it was wayne, driven by his pathological hatred of the ex-gay message and ex-gays themselves, that has caused this to happen. It has been Besen’s goal from day one to destroy Paulk’s message, and his character. Apparently, the damage and distress this will cause his wife and children,
doesn’t bother Besen at all. The message is clear, either bow to Besen”s
demented, self righteous demands or he will destroy your life. Your family
and your right to happiness be damned.
Don’t even try it . He thinks too highly of himself to listen to other opinions
Sorry, b anderson, you’re not making any sense. Wayne’s thoroughly justified hatred of the “ex-gay” message hasn’t caused it to be a fraud. It simply is a pernicious fraud anyway, and would be so even if Wayne had never heard of it.
Similarly, Wayne can hardly be responsible for the double life that Paulk has been leading. He’s been doing it by his own choice.
A writer named Stuart Koblentz wrote an article in 1998 about John Paulk, reminiscing about John’s behavior when he and Paulk were neighbors. The article came shortly after John’s now “famous” Newsweek Magazine Cover photo, but two years before the incident at Mr. P ‘s. Koblentz concludes with a statement that I think sums it up very well:
“If the Christian right wing sleeps better at night safe in the comfort that people like John Paulk are there to defend their ideals and promote the “Exodus cure,” then I would advise them to start sleeping with one eye open.”
I know John Paulk personally, not as gay man or an antigay activist, but as a person. All I have to say is that he has been nothing but kind, caring, and authentic. I realize that he chose to make his personal issues public at one point, but at this time in his life he has not only himself and his wife to think of, but his children as well. I understand and respect the message that Mr. Bensen is trying to put out, but also feel like there is a better way to go about it then bashing John Paulk. I think a little more tolorance from everyone is needed.
John, it’s time to stop living this lie–living as a gay man while your wife hawks her book and her “ex-gay lie”. It’s said that “the truth will set you free”. Well, now is the timme to tell the trruth,come on, get on withh your life and quit living this double life. Oh and get some help for your sexual addiction, which is something entirely separate from being gay. Sxually harassing your employees is not ccol, no matter what your sexuality happens to be.
Sorry,meant to say, “Now is the time to tell the truth, to come out…”
So now you’re starting to blackmail people
Ok, Hannah.
Explain the blackmail. I’d call it news.
Gee whiz, b anderson and hannah. I’;m having a hard time understanding something here.
You’re trying to blame Wayne for John Paulk’s behaviour? Is wayne holding a gun to his head, forcing him to come onto younger men, buy them presents, advertise for sex on facebook, cruise gay bars, commit adultery and fornication, dye his hair, provide catering services for upscale gay men, and endanger his family by means of adultery and fornication?
Because as far as I can tell, Candy is the one doing this all by himself.
Or, or you accusing wayne of lying? In which case, do you have some proof that he is?
As for blackmail, is Wayne asking for money, or threatening to do anything that Candy hasn’t already done to himself?
There is more here than mere hypocrisy. The video has now been released in which a young man tells his account of being sexually harassed by John Paulk to get and keep his job. I hope the young man files a million dollar federal sexual harassment lawsuit against Paulk and the catering company he co-owns with “wife” Anne Paulk, board member of the radical anti-gay group selling the ex-gay lie in Third World nations.
The President of Focus on the Family is Jim Daly, not Timothy Dailey.
Question: Is there really any doubt that Paulk is at least bi? I thought that TWO reported that he disclosed this on his own Facebook page. I think it is worthwhile to discuss the ex-gay sham as often as possible so I look forward to reading the story next week. But I don’t see how the story can be considered an outing if the subject has already outed himself on FB.
I Don’t Judge says: “I know John Paulk personally, not as gay man or an antigay activist, but as a person. All I have to say is that he has been nothing but kind, caring, and authentic.”
Who gives a s**t if you know him personally and he is kind to you? How do your personal interactions with this man help the young kid who is reading Paulk’s book, with bleeding knees from praying for the Lord to heal him in Oklahoma?
If John Paulk were authentic and a man of integrity, he would not need an investigation to make him do the right thing, which is renounce his damaging and fake testimony and “ex-gay” materials. If he had class, he would not allow his lying wife to behave as a con artist peddling a fictitious version of their phony lives.
A person who lets children suffer is not a good man, as you flippantly suggest. It is a self-centered person who refuses to take responsibility for his destructive actions.
It is time that you start judging. Your willingness to allow evil to be inflicted on innocent people is poor judgement.
Well said Wayne. I’ve noticed many people saying “think of his children”. Which is what I’m doing. I’m thinking of his children and other people’s children who shouldn’t have to grow up with people telling them that they are evil because they are GLBT and that they should try to change when change isn’t possible or desirable.
It takes a person of extraordinary strength and self-conviction to be able to live as an out gay person when one’s family and community are not going to be supportive. John may just not be there yet.
The other thing is that it I’m not sure I want him to be a visible “out gay man” at this point … he’s apparently still conflicted and may have addiction issues on several fronts. Is this the person we want groups like FOTF to point to and say “See what the ‘gay lifestyle’ provides you?”
I don’t. It doesn’t represent us as a whole and may actually hurt us to push John into outing himself prematurely … at least until he works out his personal demons.