ILeAnne Restored Hope Network Board Member Known For Bizarre Anti Masturbation Prayert would be difficult to find someone crazier than the Restored Hope Network’s (RHN) Anne Paulk. After all, she once wrote that God informed her that she was pregnant by creating a cloud in the shape of a baby. The man upstairs also helped her find a lost contact lens!

The little things that God does for Anne — she must be really special.

However, Anne is the voice of reason compared to Leanne Payne, who is on RHN’s new Board of Reference.

Payne is the author of a strange book with an “ex-gay” cult following, The Broken Image, where she compares gay people to cannibals. In her “Cannibal Theory,” she opines that homosexuals are not truly interested in Broken Image Restored Hope Network Board Member Known For Bizarre Anti Masturbation Prayerhaving intercourse with same-sex partners. Much like how a cannibal eats victims to ingest their traits, gay men only have sex to ingest the masculinity of partners. She believes that gay men are promiscuous because they keep trying in vain to become masculine through sex — when only praying to Jesus can accomplish this. (Has she met Orlando Cruz, Jason Collins, or Billy Bean?)

If that weren’t peculiar enough, Payne is most notorious for her hilarious anti-masturbation prayer that she recites in The Broken Image:

In the name of Jesus Christ I say that this creative energy from now on shall flow in its normal channel, and it shall not overflow anymore to the right hand or to the left hand. I build high dikes on the right hand and on the left hand and in Jesus’ Name I command that it shall not overflow to the left hand or the right hand, but it shall flow quietly in its normal channel.

If you thought Exodus was a joke, wait until you learn more about the outlandish Restored Hope Network. This organization may soon replace Comedy Central for the laughs-a-minute it is sure to provide. The RHN will hold its second annual conference in Oklahoma City on June 21st. Truth Wins Out will be on the ground to counter the misinformation — if we aren’t chuckling too hard to do so.