As Pam Spaulding would say, protect your keyboards for this one. If you are partaking in any sort of beverage at the moment, set it aside, lest you spit it out of your mouth laughing. Kevin Swanson and Dave Buehner, who are pastors in Colorado, revealed on Generations Radio the insidious plan Democrats have for Colorado, just after asserting that the state is now “more tyrannical than communist China and maybe even North Korea” due to advances in reproductive and gay rights, and that it will become “the worst possible hellhole on planet earth.”

colorado Kevin Swanson Reveals Liberals Plan To Destroy Colorado With Homosexuals, Reefer

Hellhole.

You ready? Follow the bouncing wingnut logic:

If it was evil, they loved it; if it was against God’s laws, they said go for it. Our legislature in Colorado stuck a finger in God’s eye every opportunity that they had in this last legislative season, it was amazing, they obliterated family freedoms at every step, they trashed gun rights, they embraced every moral abomination they could find, they undermined liberty at every single point.

Their vision for Colorado is a drugged-out, marijuana’d-out homosexual culture where children are abused as much as possible, because children in non-nuclear families are twenty times more likely to be abused than children in nuclear families, so children abused as much as possible.

This is the vision of the Democrats, get children abused, kill them in the womb as much as possible, be sure there are as many dysfunctional families as possible, as many homosexual families as possible and children abused as much as possible, so government can grow their child welfare services even more, so that they can kill more kids, so that more adults can commit adultery, so that more kids would be murdered, so that more kids would be abused, so more government would tax and regulate and tax and regulate to produce the worst possible hellhole on planet earth. 

Man, that sure is a lot of steps. I mean, first they have to “get children abused,” and then “kill them in the womb” and “make sure there are as many dysfunctional families as possible,” and as many “homosexual families,” and yet again, “children abused as much as possible,” and this is all presumably before lunchtime, which leaves a lot to do in the afternoon, and we really need to be done by 2:30 because we still want to go skiing today, but, well. I guess we’re going to have to work through lunch. Because we have to get all that done so that “government can grow their child welfare services” and “kill more kids” (I thought that was part of the morning activities), and get more adults to commit adultery (should be easy if we give free coupons), so that the government can tax and regulate and tax and regulate again, achieving the final goal of “hellhole.” ALL OF THIS WHILE STONED.

All right then, cheerio.

It’s funnier if you listen to it, because Swanson gets all hysterical and shouty.