Did you all hear? There was a HUGE “ex-gay” press conference in Washington today. SO MANY PEOPLE!

Just kidding, there were fewer than ten people there. Big movement y’all got there. But they didn’t leave before debuting the new “ex-gay” cheer, which, honestly, if they hadn’t, I would have had to make one up for them myself.

Christopher Doyle, the Uncle Fester of the “ex-gay” industry, who won’t tell us how old the girls were that he tried to have sex with at his mother’s daycare, threw the party, and Greg Quinlan of PFOX showed up (but NOT in a “flaming faggot” way), and so did Doyle’s colleague Richard Cohen, and also Douglas McIntyre of Homosexuals Anonymous! Together they spoke to four or five other people and then they left.

Success! Seriously, look at this party:

exgaypride The Ex Gays Had A Huge Press Conference In Washington Today (For Fewer Than Ten People)

Hoo-boy. Also, Chuck Peters, an alleged “ex-gay,” debuted this new cheer for their “movement,” which goes:

“HIP HIP HURRAY FOR EX-GAYS. HIP HIP HURRAY FOR EX-GAYS. HIP HIP HURRAY FOR EX-GAYS.”

This proves that when you go in to get de-gayed, they take all of the creativity and rhythm away from you as well.

Still sounds gay to me. It’s a pity the seven other people in attendance didn’t join in the cheer.

It’s even funnier because, as Right Wing Watch reports, Christopher Doyle talked to Sandy Rios yesterday, and Sandy confidently assured listeners that “thousands” of people would be showing up for this groundbreaking event. Stop laughing, she was being serious:

Christopher Doyle then explained that, in reality, there are “tens of thousands” of “ex-gays” out there, but they’re all scared to leave their houses because gay people are mean to them. Stop laughing, he really believes this stuff:

FEWER THAN TEN PEOPLE.

Good luck traveling home to your sad lives, guys.