delgaudio Eugene Delgaudio, In 12,000 Words Or Less, Explains That Gays Are Trying To Kill Him (And He Needs Money)Here is an excerpt from the latest fundraising letter from Eugene Delgaudio, self-described “Public Advocate of the United States.” You see, not only are gays following him around and sitting in parked cars in his general vicinity, but he also needs $65,325, no more, no less. Joe Jervis subscribes to his e-mail list so you don’t have to:

“Dear Joe, It’s hard to write you this. My office is in trouble. And I need your help. I have been fighting overtime against the radical Homosexual Lobby and they are making huge gains in Washington. Today, I’m worried.This is a painful letter for me to write. I feel as if my pro-Family supporters are letting me down. Life here in Washington has been a virtual Hell for me. I put off sending you this letter for a while because I didn’t want to worry you. You see, I’ve gotten death threats and I never take them lightly. But when they go beyond threatening and actually try to kill me, it’s a whole different story. In the past, strangers followed my family around town. Idling cars sit across the street at all hours of the night. The threatening phone calls, the death threats and the outrageous lies, oh, it’s endless. But now, my friend, I need to count on you. I absolutely must raise over $65,325 in the next 25 days to pay past bills and keep programs going. Joe, I need to be able to count on you for a special gift of $35 or more. If I am not able to raise the money, I don’t know what I will do. I don’t know how I can keep fighting. Tammy Baldwin and her cronies in the radical Homosexual Lobby have gone into overdrive to seduce Republicans in Congress into backing their perverse agenda. If your Public Advocate falters now, the radical Homosexual Lobby may get everything they want.”

Joe reports that the fundraising letter goes on for at least two-thousand more words.

I feel like somebody in Eugene’s family ought to check on him more often, because that is a rabbit hole of crazy right there. His outsized opinion of his own influence raises enough concerns on its own.