As marriage equality becomes a reality as each day goes by, I would like to make a bold statement:
Marrige equality is not enough!
That is easy for me to say, as someone enjoying heterosexual privilege? I have been married to the person I love for over a decade and there was no traveling to a different state then our home state to have our marriage legal. So my saying marriage equality is not enough, could be taken as an ill advised statement from a heterosexual male who is blinded by his own heterosexual privilege.
My words are influenced by those who do not have the protection of heterosexual privilege, they are influenced by those who reminded daily that they are black and same gender loving.
On Saturday May 5th 2012, a group of us (majority were LGBT/SGL) from diverse backgrounds, sexual orientations and gender identities met to discuss the issues impacting the black LGBTA/SGL community of Kansas City. On this day, our first task was to identify the top five challenges (we came up with eight) that face the Black LGBT/SGL community of Kansas City.
They were:
- Church Based Homophobia/Heterosexism
- Racism
- HIV/AIDS
- Homelessness
- Apathy and Self Loathing
- Lack of spaces of support
- Hypermasculinity
- Lack of community involvement
No one spoke on marriage equality.
Is that to say that marriage equality is not important? No way. What it says, is that there are some issues that if not addressed now, will continue to destroy and kill our LGBT/SGL brothers and sisters. These issues will continue to destroy and kill; emotionally, physical, spiritually and mentally unless we go beyond the politics and glamorized rally of the day. I am not downplaying the importance of legalized marriage and marriage equality. What I am doing, is screaming at the top of my lungs (cyber space at least) that Marriage Equality is Not Enough!!
We must not forget that church based homophobia and heterosexism are destructive obstacles in the lives of black LGBT/SGL people.
We must not forget that racism is still a destructive obstacle in the lives of black LGBT/SGL people.
These two issues by themselves, fuel; HIV/AIDS, homelessness, apathy and self loathing, lack of spaces of support, Hypermasculinity and lack of community involvement. This is why unapollogetically I declare that “Marriage Equality is Not Enough!”
As we move closer to marriage equality, let us not abandon the thought of equality for all.
Continue the fight!!
Rev. Gerald Palmer,MSW
For more information on the impact of racism and religious based homophobia please see these:
Homophobia, Hypermasculinity and the US Black Church
RACISM IN THE GAY COMMUNITY AND HOMOPHOBIA IN THE BLACK
COMMUNITY: NEGOTIATING THE GAY BLACK MALE EXPERIENCE
The Church Has AIDS: Essays on Sexuality, Sexual Orientation, Taboos, and the Black Church
Hello Gerald:
I think your observations are well received. Perhaps, our strategy should go from the macro to micro within our own community developing ways to see ourselves more clearly and having ongoing dialogue about how “we” as same-gender loving black males perpetuate heterosexism and objectification.
Until we see ourselves differently, to change will continue to be a foreboding challenge as we attempt to understand ourselves and our misguided identities in a commercialized and objectified world.
Black men from prisons without any income are left on the streets with addictions find solace in their objectified selves. Perhaps, went into prison heterosexuals but left with a different identity and openness to explore opportunities; perhaps, not exploring due to social constructs but now needing to explore due to economics. Our identities are wrapped in a state of confusion from Judeo/Christian misinterpretations to a social construct of manhood that no longer fits our reality or circumstances.
Alas, we are at a point of no return and those who have the courage to call it up and ask the right questions to lead us home. Perhaps, not in very structured orientations that has been presented by Eurocentric paradigms but ones that truly blends our understanding and history around sexual orientation.
An excellent observation JG.
You shut my attention right down when you started with that whole “heterosexual privilege” crap. What no talk of your “male privilege” too? I have observed that people who use that whole “[insert group of people here] privilege” language simply want to shut up anyone who disagrees with them by declaring that the person disagreeing has “privilege” and thus his/her/their opinion can be ignored and denigraded.
I won’t be shut up nor shut down by the “check your privilege” crew. My opinion matters, even if you disagree with it, and I’ll no longer tolerate your intolerance.
Thank you Spookie I never thought of it that way. My use of the statement heterosexual privilege is a dose of reality for myself, it is to remind myself that I must acknowledge my role in marriage inequality and homophobia. And you are right, I acknowledge my male privilege as well; being a male social worker. Again thank you for your point of view.
Spookie said: “I won’t be shut up nor shut down by the ‘check your privilege’ crew. My opinion matters, even if you disagree with it, and I’ll no longer tolerate your intolerance.”
Nobody said that. In fact, Spookie, you’re the one who tried to shut discussion down. So you’re the one who expressed intolerance.
Antigay heterosexuals — Caucasians, especially — often DO feel entitled: They claim financial, professional, educational, and social advantages as if they were constitutional rights, deny actual constitutional rights to others, and redefine freedom (especially religious freedom) to apply only to themselves.
Be warned: TWO reserves the right to ban commenters for any reason — and that’s particularly true of commenters who post strawman arguments that are rooted in hypocrisy.
spookiewon, you don’t think heterosexuals hold a privileged position in our culture?
I just wonder what SGL Means in LGBT/SGL?
@Str8Grandmother–this is from the Urban Dictionary:
SGL. Abbreviation of Same Gender Loving Used predominantly in African American communities to distinguish from the “white” LGBT community.
I didn’t know that either, but since I’m a reference librarian, I *had* to find out. ;)
SGL is a new one one me, and though I hesitate to criticize something I don’t completely understand, it does remind me of the religious groups who, instead of saying someone is LGBT say they have SSA (same sex attraction), because, again, they want to say that LGBT is something you do, not something you are and therefore you don’t deserve equal protections. I don’t know if that is true–but it raises my suspicions.
I don’t think we should let other people determine our terminology, or we’ll end up tongue-tied. We should be appropriating their terminology. For example, instead of talking about gay marriage or same-sex marriage, or equal marriage, or whatever comes next, we should just talk about marriage. If both sides are talking about “preserving marriage,” it’s easier to win the rhetoric war, because everything they say supports us.
Don’t we have enough acronyms? It’s getting to the point where I have to say that I’m one of the Alphabet people in order to avoid blowback from someone who wants the letters in a different order or identifies as a letter that’s not usually used.
Does racism in the lgbt community hinder the response to the ex-gay movement in the black community?
Rev. Gerald Palmer–I’m not sure that racism in the lgbt community hinders the response any more than homophobia in the black community. They both have a negative impact.
I think racism in the gay community–while definitely bad a real issue isn’t actually any higher than racism in the greater caucasion world. That a minority puts down another minority is certainly a horrendous turn of events but I think there’s rancor on both sides.
Excellent point.
Father Palmer,
I don’t think it does– I think cultural ignorance may sometimes though. Thank you for educating me on some terms I wouldn’t have recognized. My son (who is gay) is mixed race, but he identifies with my culture.and uses the acronyms I’m used to – if indeed he even knows that other acronyms exist.
I appreciate your contributions on these forums, although I am clearly white (no melanin here I fear) and not Christian (I was associated with and involved with Christianity at one time, but left years ago) I think that hearing diverse voices withiin as well as without the community is incredibly valuable. Thank you for being such a voice.
Kind thoughts,
Thank you for your kind words Reyn
Spookie said “I have observed that people who use that whole “[insert group of people here] privilege” language simply want to shut up anyone who disagrees with them by declaring that the person disagreeing has “privilege” and thus his/her/their opinion can be ignored and denigraded. “.
I find its the opposite spookie. On some blogs I go to I’m told I’m not allowed to express some of my opinions on religion because they’re offensive and religion deserves respect. That’s religious privilege, and its not me trying to shut up the people with religious privilege, its the people with religious privilege trying to shut me up.