That’s a quote from this interview, to which John Fugelsang responded:
“No, putting your penis in a kid’s mouth is rape.”
We learn many things in this interview from Bill Donohue, who laughably thinks he speaks with moral authority, such as:
1:00 — Donohue would support civil unions if we had an amendment against marriage equality, because “you’re not going to get to home plate. You’ll be stopped at third base.”
2:30 — Marriage is not about love, how can you be so silly? He and his wife divorced years back, so we’ll just consider that the grain of salt we need to interpret Donohue’s expertise in that area.
3:40 — He repeats, “marriage has nothing to do with love.” Keep talkin’, Bill, you sound completely sane.
4:15 — Bill brings up Leviticus. Fugelsang asks if Bill follows Leviticus. Bill is confused by this question. He then responds that he does not sleep with men, and with a weird uncomfortable laugh, says he doesn’t have any interest in sleeping with men. Wow.
4:30 — Fugelsang then shows that Bill does not follow Leviticus, which leads Bill to say that there is a difference between him wearing a shirt of two different fibers and “two guys having anal sex.”
5:15 — Bill wants to know what you say to a kid who has two fathers on Mothers’ Day. Fugelsang responds that you say “Happy Fathers’ Day” twice. Bill is like “nuh-UH!”
5:45 — Fugelsang asks Bill, in essence, if he isn’t worried he just sounds like a big whiner whenever he cries about Bill Maher and other mean liberals. Bill is not worried about that.
7:30 — Here comes the Catholic priest conversation. Bill says that “less than five percent of the molesting priests were pedophiles. Most of them were homosexuals.” While we pause to note that Bill does seem to understand that there is a difference (are you listening, Evangelical hate group leaders?)
8:00 — Bill then proceeds to whine that, because (in his weird view), most molesting Catholic priests are homosexuals, “why don’t we have gay-bashing jokes?” instead of the anti-Catholic jokes told by meanies like Bill Maher.
8:15 — Fugelsang: “It’s justified that certain clements of the Catholic hierarchy get dumped on because they protected child rapists.” Zing! Bill Donohue then tries to eliminate the child-rape epidemic in the priesthood by saying that “it’s true that we had a homosexual scandal between 1965 and 1985.” Um, no, Bill. Your church has a child rape problem, and it has this problem now.
8:45 — Donohue claims that anything new we hear about the Catholic child rape scandal is all because some “priest grabbed some guy’s ass” in 1958 while they were wrestling.
9:15 — “Inappropriate touch? Grabbing your ass is rape?,” Bill asks incredulously. To which, again, Fugelsang responds, “No, putting your penis in a kid’s mouth is rape.” Bill claims this does not happen, and then proceeds to cry like a baby about Bill Maher some more.
10:00 — Now we are confused, because Fugelsang actually gets Donohue mad about child rape, at which point he calls the Catholic Church a bunch of wimps for not handling the problem. We, um, agree?
10:45 — Fugelsang, trying to get Donohue to answer whether Jesus had anything to say about consensual gay relationships. He runs around the question, trying to get away from it.