os 300x240 Os Hillman Claims Stronger Heterosexual Marriages Will Produce Fewer Gay ChildrenRight Wing Watch tips us off to a long, meandering piece (which is apparently part of a longer, meandering series) by dominionist Os Hillman on the subject of The Evils Of The Gay, and as a document, what strikes me is just how much denial our opponents are in these days. They can’t simply accept that sexuality is what it is, and that perhaps what they’ve been taught is incorrect, so they construct strange, elaborate excuses for why they’re right, despite what reality says.

On heterosexual marriages producing gay children:

A friend of mine who was delivered from the gay lifestyle said to me one time, “If there was a divorce rate of less than 5%, you would not be talking about gay issues.” It would be a non-issue. That’s because healthy marriages produce healthy children with healthy identities.

It is so odd that they continue to believe this. The majority of my gay friends come from intact, nuclear heterosexual families. I come from one of those families. So does Wayne Besen. I have friends who come from divorced parents as well. This makes sense, because whether your parents are married or not has absolutely nothing to do with being gay.

He then quotes some “ex-gay” activist named Danny Wallace, who is currently making money off of being “ex-gay,” because that’s how that industry works:

Danny further explained his findings on the pattern of becoming gay. “You will never find a person who has a healthy relationship with their father who is gay. In 100% of the cases being gay is rooted in the failure of a father to love that child and validate him/her during their growing up years.”

Therefore, all of you out there reading who have wonderful, close relationships with your fathers simply do not exist, because Danny says.

Also, since it’s been in the news lately, Magic Johnson and his gay son and their wonderful relationship must be a figment of all of our imaginations.

Wounds can happen so early that a person can believe they were born that way. One thing is for sure, God never made a person gay. That would violate what the Bible teaches.

Maybe your Bible, or your interpretation of it, is wrong?

There’s only one way to deal with the root problem; that is to heal marriages and return to covenant commitments in marriage learn to love those who are caught in a web of bondage. Only then will we see a reduction in the gay population.

Like we’re deer and our population must be controlled.

Hillman then quotes a bunch of smart-sounding statistics on marriage and divorce, in a lame effort to appear as if he has an argument, but unfortunately neglects to tie any of it to homosexuality. He must expect that his average reader will not notice, or that they’ll be so excited to get to the section about “the strategy of the gay agenda,” that his lack of basic research will be forgiven. We, however, are very bored by his “gay agenda” section, because it’s all about After The Ball, a book most LGBT people have never even heard of, which I have not read and do not care to read. It comes off as very, very dated, like when Porno Pete headlines every other post with a picture of the book King and King, which the Religious Right has been freaking out about for years and years.

Let’s face it; God didn’t create Adam and Joe. He created Adam and Eve.

Adam and Steve split up?! But they seemed like such a great couple…

Since this piece is, again, part of a series (that I will probably not critique in full), there’s not really a natural ending place, so we’ll just sum up what we’ve learned from Os Hillman:

1. Happy heterosexual couples never have gay children, but if they do,

2. It’s because the father has a horrible relationship with the son, and we know this because Danny the Ex-Gay says.

3. Anyone, like Magic Johnson or you or me or your spouse, whose mere existence mocks Os Hillman’s version of reality, is a figment of your imagination, because The Bible Says.

4. Happy heterosexuals in covenant marriage will bring about a “reduction in the gay population.”

5. Adam and Steve split up. Adam’s new boyfriend is named Joe, and even though we miss Steve, we also want Adam to be happy, and Joe seems pretty nice, so it’s fine.