Weekly Column
A couple of weeks ago I wrote, “The war over gay rights in America and other modern nations has been largely won. Too many people have come out of the closet and will never go back in for the clock to be turned back.”
This trend towards acceptance has only accelerated since my column and may have reached a tipping point. New York Times columnist Charles Blow wrote about a new Gallup Poll that found, for the first time, the percentage of Americans who perceive “gay and lesbian relations” as morally acceptable has crossed the 50 percent mark. Also, for the first time, the percentage of men who hold that view is greater than the percentage of women who do.
Blow attributes these advancements to LGBT people coming out and the realization that it is primarily weirdoes and socially stunted hypocrites who are obsessed or threatened by homosexuality.
“Virulent homophobes are increasingly being exposed for engaging in homosexuality,” wrote Blow. “Many heterosexual men see this, and they don’t want to be associated with it. It’ like being antigay is becoming the old gay. Not cool.”
Blow is correct. Normal, healthy, functional heterosexuals do not become paranoid or fixated on homosexuals. It is primarily people with sexual hang-ups, extreme religious indoctrination or deep, dark secrets that are preoccupied and consumed by the sexual orientation of others.
Of course, this does not mean that all supporters of civil rights for LGBT people are comfortable with the idea of gay sex. The good news is they don’t have to be. While speaking across the nation I have found an easy way of diffusing this issue. I ask the crowd to look at people they assume are heterosexual in the audience. Then, I ask if they would want to see all of the people they stared at having sexual intercourse.
The answer is inevitably and resoundingly, “No”. Then, I simply make the point that there are many people, heterosexual and homosexual, they would not want to witness in bed. And, they never have to unless they elect to do so — making any objections in terms of the “ick” factor moot. As simple as this sounds, it works and audiences “get it.”
Adding momentum to the LGBT struggle for equality is a cute McDonald’ television commercial in France that dealt with a teenager who had not yet told his father he was gay. The message of the campaign is, “come as you are, just leave a little fatter.” Okay, I added the last part.
While such an ad is not likely to air in the United States anytime soon, it does not have to in order to have a positive impact. Thanks to the Internet and talk shows, millions of people will see the ad and associate the message with their beloved Golden Arches.
Speaking of the impact of social media, in Newsweek, Joshua Alston made the case that websites such as Facebook are accelerating the demise of the closet. He wrote about the, “painstaking labor that goes into being secretly gay in the age of information sharing.” His advice to a friend who was outed by a seemingly innocuous tweet: “if you want to be in the closet, you can’t be on Facebook and Twitter.”
Crucial to the sudden surge of success is the falling of ugly stereotypes, such as the old canard that LGBT people are a threat to children. This week, the research journal, Pediatrics, published a study by Nanette Gartrell, a professor of psychiatry at University of California, San Francisco and Henry Bos, a behavioral scientist at University of Amsterdam. The article discussed a landmark study that measured the long-term affects on children who were raised by lesbian parents.
“We simply expected to find no difference in psychological adjustment between adolescents reared in lesbian families and the normative sample of age-matched controls,” says Gartrell. “I was surprised to find that on some measures we found higher levels of [psychological] competency and lower levels of behavioral problems. It wasn’t something I anticipated.”
Finally, The Human Rights Campaign reports that Kaiser Permanente updated its Patients’ Bill of Rights to fully protect LGBT patients and their families from discrimination. These changes make Kaiser Permanente the first large health network to have a fully inclusive non-discrimination policy for LGBT people.
Sure, full legal equality may take two decades and the battle against bigotry will last forever. But, there is no denying that the LGBT movement is on the move like never before. The homophobes are finally the minority and appearing more secluded and deluded by the day. It’ not time to crack open a bottle of champagne, but feel free to treat your self to a cold beer and appreciate the progress.
I’d like to point out that while France may be a bit more “progressive” (for lack of a better word) regarding sexuality – heterosexuality in particular, though gayness as well – they are still shockingly racist and xenophobic over there. They could learn a thing or to about the US Melting Pot experience many of us grow up with.
I love the creative way Wayne deals with helping str8′s with the imagery of gay sex! Whenever possible, I encourage the use of the term “affectional orientation” instead of sexual orientation b/c it takes the focus from our sex lives & doesn’t limit us to just that aspect of who we are! :-)
[...] The Tipping Point on LGBT Equality Has Arrived. Read more [...]
I always use the old people angle.
Imagine an old person having sex, (and they do of course), do you get an ick factor? Yes? Do you control your thoughts to avoid the ick when you are with your own grand-parents? Yes? Then same for your gay brother/son/uncle/friend/neighbour.
It is every person’s right not to have others throw the ick in their faces.
Bigotry and hate are, of course, learned, and over time with exposure to the truth and ‘real’ people, they can be unlearned. I remember all the moaning and bitching that white people did when black people first started appearing in tv commercials and programs in the 60s, and of course the same reaction when the first inter-racial kisses began. Gays appearing in the same bed and the first on-air kisses between 2 men or women made headline news (mostly negative) the next morning on tv news and talk shows. Thankfully all of that is now another embarrassing chapter in our nations history.
Just coming out to your friends, family, coworkers, neighbors spreads like wildfire. My partner and I have been completely out to everyone for 19 years. I cannot tell you how many minds we have changed!
[...] my weekly column, I made the bold claim that America has reached a tipping point on LGBT issues. We have won — [...]
What a wonderful article, Wayne. I am pleased that our heterosexual friends are beginning to realize what we have known all along… there is something truly bizarre and wrong with people who go out of their way to bash gays and lesbians.
Sure, if someone doesn’t like gays and lesbians, they are unquestionably entitled to their opinion, but those who feel the compulsion to broadcast their disapproval usually have the proverbial skeletons in the closet.
Bones in the closets, not skeletons.
“but feel free to treat your self to a cold beer and appreciate the progress.”
WAYNE!? Beer is empty calories! Alright just this once though.
[...] studies of the Religious Right allow us to see trends before they happen. For example, last month I wrote that America has reached a tipping point on LGBT rights. (also more on that) Here is the latest [...]
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[...] report further proves what many in the LGBT movement, including TWO’s Wayne Besen, have been saying for more than a year now: we have passed the cultural tipping point on LGBT rights. The upcoming [...]