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This week, the “ex-gay” organization Exodus International posted a cruel and misleading video on its blog where the group’s president, Alan Chambers, made the outrageous claim that, “Homosexuality will disappoint you.”
In reality, it is Exodus that will disappoint, with its remarkable failure rate and potential for real psychological harm. (There is a good reason Exodus does not keep statistics) The only way, it seems, clients “change” their sexual orientation is to join the Exodus staff and get paid to say they have converted.
Chambers’ claim is patently absurd. Neither homosexuality, nor heterosexuality, can disappoint. Both orientations represent sexual arousal and love — both wonderful feelings of joy and satisfaction. I suppose what Chambers is inartfully alluding too, is that if a person comes out, they will be let down by some who they want to share a sexual and romantic relationship.
Of course, this is true. When you come out, I can guarantee that there will be sexual and emotional interests that will not reciprocate. This will, no doubt, be disappointing.
Surely, Chambers can’t be suggesting that such disappointments are exclusive to LGBT people. How then does he explain the high divorce rate in America? How does he rationalize the jukeboxes filled with songs for the love sick and broken hearted? How does he justify the existence of online dating sites and personal ads if heterosexual happiness is so magically easy? If heterosexual marriage is so perfect, who is frequenting the prostitutes walking the street or selling their wares on the Internet?
Obviously, both sexual orientations can bring bliss or brokenness; ecstasy or despair. For Chambers to suggest that gay people have a monopoly on loneliness and relationship troubles is disingenuous. What he is really trying to do is scare LGBT teenagers into believing that if they come out they will be miserable. This is simply untrue and such lies are why it is difficult to trust or respect Alan Chambers.
If the first lie was not bad enough, Chambers resorts to biblical blackmail and spiritual abuse when he says:
“In God’s word, it says, ‘this is not what I created you for. I didn’t create you for this. This is a counterfeit of my best.’”
If Chambers’ sexuality is so real, why was he impotent for the first six months of his marriage? It seems he was trying to be someone that he was not meant to be. Indeed, Box Turtle Bulletin’s Jim Burroway recorded Chambers at a 2007 Love Won Out conference in Phoenix saying that each morning he wakes up and prays, “Dear Lord, I can’t make it today without you. I choose to deny what comes naturally to me.’”
And he calls the love of LGBT people counterfeit?
Next, Chambers offers this bit of advice:
“Don’t defer hope by getting involved in homosexuality. Or continuing in homosexuality. It is deferring hope and it will make your heart sick….homosexuality is a poor substitute.”
Deferring hope of what? The Exodus activist told the Los Angeles Times on June 18, 2007, “By no means would we ever say change can be sudden or complete.”
Is he seriously peddling sexual repression as “hope”? And, with endless examples of happy LGBT couples, how exactly will one’s heart get sick? Again, Chambers is trying to spook young people into signing up for his useless “pray away the gay” seminars, which fund his salary.
Alan then goes on to say:
“Many of you people would not be here if your hearts weren’t sick.”
I would agree with his assessment. When one denies reality and subjugates his or her real sexual orientation — the result can be sickness. Lying to oneself about something so fundamental can do serious emotional and psychological damage. The fact that the audience paid to listen to this charlatan, does increase the chance that they are internally ripping themselves to shreds. Unfortunately, Chambers false and destructive message is not the panacea, but the root of the pain. Exodus is the problem. not the solution.
The “ex-gay” activist then cunningly offers a disclaimer that absolves himself and his failed organization from the eventual, dare I say, “disappointment”:
“God is here. He will meet your need if you trust him. If you ask him to do something in your life, he’ll do it. It may not be exactly the way you wanted it to be done. It may not be exactly what you, um, think he was going to do. Or in the time that he, you expected him to do it. But he’ll do something in your life.”
If you read between the lines, Chambers is covering his ass by essentially saying, “You will be a paying customer in my racket for a real long time and don’t expect to see any tangible signs of heterosexuality.”
Of course, the silly claim that “God is doing something” is deceptive and unverifiable. It could be claimed that God made the sun shine today, thus he did “something” in your life. But, the truth is, the vast majority of people who attend Exodus retreats are desperately trying to go from gay-to-straight. If they were simply trying to find Jesus, they could have just as easily have done so by staying home and saving money by praying at the local church. But, no, they fly off to the Exodus event not simply to have God do “something”. They usually want God to do something very specific, which is change their sexual orientation.
Interestingly, Chambers continues his speech by basically saying that his organization has no real product and it is all in the Lord’s hands.
“If your heart is sick, you can find healing here. Not because this is Exodus International and we cure people, because we don’t. We simply stand up here as facilitators in a process and point to the only one that can help you, the only one that can save you. the only one who can heal you.”
How convenient. When the paying customers don’t get what they came for, it’s not Exodus’ fault. It’s the customer’s fault for not pleasing the man upstairs. Is this not the perfect scheme?
Chambers reiterates — even though he is the one who cashes the checks — that God is the only one who gives the green light to leaving the gay behind.
“You are not going to get cured this week. We can’t cure you. I can’t cure you. But the truth is, God can.”
So, the questions often asked by Exodus’ distraught and disillusioned religious clients are: “How come God chose not to cure me? Does God not love me? What did I do wrong?”
Clearly, it is not a leap to see how Exodus’ message can lead to suicide, depression and self-destructive behavior. It’s even sadder that Chambers runs a program called Exodus Youth, in which he peddles his guilt-inducing lies to impressionable teenagers who are told by family members that they are bad people and going to hell if they are gay.
Exodus is an organization that thrives on slick marketing campaigns, selling half-truths, fudging facts, and playing semantic games. It takes advantage of vulnerable and desperate people and exacerbates their trauma. This video is Exhibit A in showing how Exodus is a destructive organization that should close its doors before more innocent people are harmed.










Exodus is just begging for somebody to create and distribute the following video profiles:
Meet Alan and Leslie Chambers: A deeply unhappy couple plagued by sexless life in separate bedrooms; infertility; and blissfully busy work schedules that keep Alan on the road so that they only have to spend minimal time together. They live in housing with a mortgage that is subsidized — and policed — by their church. Should they have any disagreement with the church, they’ll find themselves foreclosed from their main house and forced to move in with their renters. Since they refuse to rent to gays and other unspecified sinful minorities, life shared with the renters will be both crowded and excruciatingly boring.
When Alan and Leslie are in town at the same time, their social life is strained: Superficial friends and superficial smiles overlay their social circle’s deep right-wing anger and resentment. They and their friends feel burdened by the necessity of putting up with immigrant interlopers and with taxes to maintain a society and planet that they condemn to hell. Alan, Leslie, and their few friends have ostracized so many political and spiritual infidels from their lives — always with a sweetly patronizing put-down — that their remaining social companions have all the charm and daring of a K-Mart mannequin.
Meet Randy Thomas: Once a charming young man and life of the Nashville party. Now a self-absorbed middle-age gossip with few close friends after he dumped most of his buddies for the sake of political correctness. Randy wandered like a nomad around the country, seeking “Christian” jobs in earnest pursuit of someone else to take charge of his life for him. In the past 10 years, a long series of Christian Rightists have patronized Randy on right-wing radio and in photo ops while snickering at his “sissiness” behind his back. Randy’s career motto: “I’m not really a pundit, but I pretend to be one on the Internet.” Randy’s life philosophy: Cling desperately to Alan Chambers as a wobbly buoy on the ever-shifting tide of ex-gay snake oil.
Flagged the offensive video for removal. Thanks :-)
Alan is quite right. Homosexuality is indeed a counterfeit of the real thing.
He has rpomised me for years that as a gay man, I faced a hot, sexual lifetime of drug and alcohol fueled orgies with hoards of willing men, parties with beautiful people, and so on.
Where is this hoard of beautiful boys?
As for my obvious fantasy of a loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou? Never gonna happen, becuase that isn’t the way homosexuality works.
Nine years later, it’s just a bag of pretzels, a cold beer, and the old man.
And i wouldn’t change it for anything.
Of course, what they told ME in the “exit ministry” bible study I used to attend was that my continuing SSA was a clear sign that I was unfaithful and unbelieving. Not God’s fault I didn’t believe in the cure hard enough. What was I supposed to do, the Cowardly Lion squint, chant and wring my tail, “I do believe in (holy) ghosts, I do, I do, I do, I do…”
Lovely.
I have, in the decades since, concluded that I do indeed experience an “unwanted same sex attraction.” Thing is, **I’m not the one who doesn’t want it.**
Brian: this is the only “cure” in the world which, when it doesn’t take, is the victim’s fault and not the doctor’s.
Deep down Alan knows that his “heterosexual” marriage is a disappointing counterfeit, so the only things that keep him going are his delusions about homosexuality and his god, coupled with his need to lure others into the same kind of pathetic existence. While it is a cliche, misery really does love company.
What makes my heart sick is not my homosexual orientation or loving relationship with my spouse, but the stories from people who have been subjected to Exodus teachings and have lost hope of ever knowing a loving God who does not reject them! Alan has twisted the Scripture to even begin to know why we were created! “It is for God’s pleasure…to know Him and love Him as He loves and accepts us.” God’s word says we are complete in Him…we are not broken or sick. Alan is spiritually sick because he is living a broken truth…a lie of who he is, and trying to pawn it off on anyone who will listen! The truth is…He is the counterfit!
Well said Darlene. And you should know, given that you were once a key Exodus leader.
“Nine years later, it’s just a bag of pretzels, a cold beer, and the old man.
And i wouldn’t change it for anything.”
Amen, brother :)
“It’s difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on not understanding it.”
Upton Sinclair
Ben: yes, that is exactly the point I was attempting to make.
really? hm.
[...] even this venue suffers from inertia and rust, with Thomas posting offensive videos of Chambers preaching hate in 2006. Are there no new videos or messages to [...]
There are articles and books being written lately about the dearth of eligible husbands for black women.
Single black women, essentially even of the peak marriage eligibility years between ages 23-40, is exceptionally high. The mainstream media has ignored this phenom and it bears some serious analysis.
I think that most people have a distorted idea of how many blacks there actually are, and there is a similar distortion regarding gay people.
Or what their relationship actually is to them. That is to say, it’s likely quite superficial and the real lives behind the people we pass, isn’t what anyone has put any thought to.
But black women share something similar with gay men, perhaps, especially: there are less of us to go around. And the spectre of HIV/AIDS affects as many black women as gay men.
Black women perhaps need not stay within the area of seeking only black men, but it’s taken for granted that men of another ethnicity have any interest in black women.
They don’t.
Certainly not in the way other men are flexible with their interests and attractions outside of their ethnicity.
One might consider the odds of being with a committed, faithful and compatible black man for a black woman, as extremely unlikely.
A black woman might well be doomed to be disappointed too. We’re a unique category as women go. We might be single, but too many of us are single mothers.
Further eroding the likelihood of being married. A lot of black people don’t have the same financial security to blend families.
Perhaps it’s generational, my likely trajectory had many disruptions along the way through many familial losses and health setbacks.
And some prejudice and so on that were very destructive.
Some people really don’t consider what a black woman might go through that’s over and above the typical experience. We are simply considered lazier, less ambitious or our anger turns people off.
And that judgment seems to always come from people who cause that anger and pain, and certainly don’t care about easing it.
And attitude and judgment that gay folks too, are very familiar with.
Black women get disappointed. Not just disappointed, there ARE people who actively look to crush us and cause us pain.
If Alan Chambers were someone addressing black women, and he told US that the worst things in life are INEVITABLE, and the only hope was to embrace being a Christian, attending church and God will do everything…it would be tempting to try that.
But Alan doesn’t know, that’s EXACTLY what black women HAVE been doing. For a very long time. And the competition for men among church women is the fiercest, ever.
My sisters are very much misunderstood. And are too unfairly stereotyped and mischaracterized.
And black men reject us too for the more exotic flowers in the bouquet who don’t exactly look like us.
People like Alan Chambers take the rejection they experienced, and brushed the entire of the gay population with it. He couldn’t cut it as a gay man, so there must be something wrong with all gay men.
And there are rejected straight people indeed, who have this bitter attitude.
But hope is in a lot more places. It’s only gay people who are told it’s in a closet.
That’s not fair, and it’s unworkable.
The grass ISN’T greener on the straight side, as this article states, it’s just sold that way.
And only to gay people.
So yes, gay people who are vulnerable to being deceived and so would black women too, if Alan Chambers was looking to sell them a gay man to marry just to say it’s possible.
Liar! Liar! It doesn’t work been there tried that Allan. Plus there is no god or devil or angels, nothing exist beyond this point of life.
“People like Alan Chambers take the rejection they experienced, and brushed the entire of the gay population with it. He couldn’t cut it as a gay man, so there must be something wrong with all gay men.”
I think he’s aiming at gay men who have had a hard time with gay life when he tells us that homosexuality is “disappointing”.
There seem to be at least two kinds of people, at least among gay men, and maybe among lesbians too, who come out, are out for a while, and then reject “the gay world” and try to be ex-gay: there are those who find gay society DEEPLY unwelcoming, always including a lack of interest in them or outright rejection of them personally. (Chambers may have been this type of person.) And there are others who get caught up into the “life is a party” subvariant of gay social life, develop serious problems with alcohol and/or other drugs and finally get tossed off the merry-go-round by the centrifugal force of an untenable way of living. But the mistake they make is instead of blaming addiction and getting involved with the wrong element in the community, they blame the whole community and conclude that their kinds of problems are inevitable for anyone who comes out as gay.
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[...] in its app store, yet it gives the green light to an app targeting vulnerable LGBT youth with the message that their sexual orientation is a “sin that will make your heart sick” and a [...]
[...] in its app store, yet it gives the green light to an app targeting vulnerable LGBT youth with the message that their sexual orientation is a “sin that will make your heart sick” and a [...]
I was in the program for 3 years. The people who ran the group were very caring, but I nearly committed suicide from the heartache of it all. I’m so happy now that I have accepted myself as I am. I’ve moved on and would never wish the program on anyone. Stay True to who you are.
Congratulations on finding peace through reality Debi.
[...] its app store, yet it is giving the green light to an app targeting vulnerable LGBT youth with the message that their sexual orientation is a “sin that will make your heart sick” and a [...]
[...] its app store, yet it is giving the green light to an app targeting vulnerable LGBT youth with the message that their sexual orientation is a “sin that will make your heart sick” and a [...]
How dare anyone tell me to stop being gay?!! And I’ll never use an Apple product again!! What difference is it to Apple if I like barebacking or being able to geolocate another queer who might give me a freaking BJ? Is everyone at Apple straight? I don’t think so!!
I live in a town FULL of redneck holy rollers who would LOVE an app that tells me how awful I am for enjoying sex with men, strangers or not! Maybe Apple will approve THAT app!
Dean, wait – it’s okay! Apple dumped the app!
http://www.truthwinsout.org/news/2011/03/15622/
[...] its app store, yet it is giving the green light to an app targeting vulnerable LGBT youth with the message that their sexual orientation is a “sin that will make your heart sick” and a [...]