We went to school together in Tulsa. I am so glad you were able to find rest with this. I can tell you that the lies we were told have only hurt so many. I am very happy for you.

Just be ready when he comes back to Knoxville if he does to love him unconditionally. If he doesn’t leave the program he will come back with all these holier than thou attitudes. Just remember he is gay and anything they have said to him is just pure nonsense. This guy will come to realize he is gay and nothing can change that. I would be willing to talk to him when he comes back around.

1. No, I was not openly gay before going to this school of ministry in Tulsa. Nor was I openly gay going to this school of ministry. I was in the closet many years and acted on my being gay several times before marriage and after. I did not demonize gay people to their face if we met. I never condemned them. Among the straight crowd in churches people would talk about how being gay and having sex with the same sex is demonic and a sin. I would agree to be accepted. However, in the pit of my stomach such comments were very disturbing to me. I knew it was possible to love another man and in fact be committed.

2. I knew my x wife as a friend for one year before marriage. She did not like me at first. However, we dated for about 4 months, got engaged, and then married a couple of months later. Looking back I should have left the altar that night and just said ” Screw it I am gay.” But because of the continual lies, hypocrisies, and religious doctrine hammered in my mind I said ” I do.” Then a miscarriage happened a year later, then the other two came along and I felt trapped for many years. The x did know about the gay thing though. I told her before we married and she believed that I was free also. After 11 years of marriage I came out. My x wife and I were seperated as ” man and wife” for a long time. When I came out to her she cried and wanted me to do the counseling thing all over again. I went to a Faith Christian Fellowship Church here in Knoxville at the time with her so the pastors tried the deliverance thing again. However, it did not work.The pastors told me the reason I could not get free is because I did not want to be free. Today I no longer have a friendship with them. So after a couple of months with alot of prayer, soul searching, I came out. I found out inside of me no matter who I am sexually I am still loved by God. I did the bar thing ( still do occasiobally with James my partner) and danced the week-end away when I did not have my children. I did meet James at Kurts a local night club here in Knoxville and we have been together ever since. My children except me for who I am and really like James. However my x wife has told the children that both of us have demons. Her husband and she have shared scriptures with them against homosexuality. However my father bond is strong with my children. I love them and they know it. Plus my children do not care about the fact I am gay. They love me for just being ” Dad.” I do not regret getting married nor having children because I view it like this. All of us are on our own journey in life and the roads we take are for others who may go down the same road that we can help them.

Thanks to Wayne for telling my story!

Were you openly gay before doing the “ex-gay cult” thing? Did you participate in pushing all of your own personal issues onto the gay community, to demonize them, as most “ex-gays” do?

And how long did you know this woman before you married her? She sure sounds like a nutcase, moving off with the kids and all.