David Roberts at Ex-Gay Watch reports that the first Love Won Out “ex-gay” roadshow ever has been cancelled. According to an Exodus letter sent to would-be participants who expected to be healed of their homosexuality in Albuquerque:
It is with great disappointment that we are notifying you today that the Love Won Out Conference scheduled for May 19th at Legacy Church in Albuquerque, NM has been cancelled.
First, we apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you. In my seven years serving on the Exodus team, this was one of the most difficult decisions I’ve had to make. Unfortunately, due to the low number of registrations we simply were unable to justify the substantial cost of bringing the LWO Conference to the Albuquerque area.
As Truth Wins Out noted in Houston and Atlanta, attendance has tanked at these events aimed at confusing the parents and friends of LGBT teens. This is a positive development and signals the decline of this organized lie in the United States. Unfortunately, the myths perpetuated by Exodus are now rampant overseas where there is less organized opposition to “ex-gay” misinformation.
One almost has to feel sorry for the poor so-called “ex-gays.” Imagine dedicating so much of your life to an experiment that has failed? It must be painful to see the studies you revered fall one by one. It must hurt to see the “healed” leaders you looked up to admit that they still look at dudes. It must be depressing to witness the scandals that revealed the “ex-gay” myth to be nothing more than a mirage. It must be painful to know that the remaining cast of “ex-gay” activists are dead enders like Alan Chambers, or bizarre and delusional misfits like D.L. Foster, Richard Cohen, and Greg Quinlan.
I’ll leave you with a wise quote by Joe.My.God that pretty well sums up my thoughts on the “ex-gay” scheme:
As everybody here doubtlessly knows, “ex-gay” therapy is a con job, a scam, a cash-cow designed to separate self-hating homosexuals from their money. It’s sort of brilliant, really. You’re never “cured” so you just have to keep paying and paying and paying. It’s like Jenny Craig, but without the delicious cardboard aftertaste.
Last week, Republican U.S. House Speaker John Boehner appointed Dr. Robert George — co-founder and Chairman Emeritus of the National Organization for Marriage — to the United States Commission on International Religious Freedom (USCIRF). George’s two-year appointment that comes with a taxpayer-funded federal salary.
GLAAD’s newly-launched Commentator Accountability Project – which aims to unmask the extremist views of anti-LGBT activists frequently consulted and quoted by the media – names George as one of the 36 homophobes most often cited in news reports. George appears on the list alongside other famously outspoken bigots like Scott Lively, Tony Perkins, Alan Chambers, Matt Barber, Peter LaBarbera, and NOM’s own Brian Brown and Maggie Gallagher.
For those of you who may not be familiar with him, Dr. George is an anti-LGBT extremist who once described being gay as “beneath the dignity of human beings as free and rational creatures” and said that committed same-sex relationships have “no intelligible basis in them for the norms of monogamy, exclusivity, and the pledge of permanence.” The organization that he co-founded, the National Organization for Marriage, is the nation’s foremost opponent of marriage equality, fighting to preserve the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) on the federal level and pushing constitutional marriage discrimination amendments in the states.
NOM was disgraced earlier this week when internal documents revealed that the group engages in disrespectful and unsavory race-baiting tactics in its fight against marriage equality. The confidential memos asserted that NOM’s strategic goal is to “drive a wedge between gays and blacks” and “make opposition to gay marriage an identity marker” among young Latinos, “a badge of youth rebellion to conformist association to the bad side of ‘Anglo’ culture” and “a symbol of resistance to inappropriate assimilation.”
Last year, Speaker Boehner and House Republicans decided to defend DOMA themselves after President Obama’s Justice Department halted its defense, citing the law’s unconstitutionality. Boehner hired a team of private attorneys and committed to spend as much as $1.5 million in taxpayer dollars to defend the discriminatory measure in court.
By appointing an extremist like Robert George, Speaker Boehner is again using taxpayer funds to further an aggressively anti-gay social agenda. This stunt makes it clear that the USCIRF is the equivalent of a kangaroo court intent upon casting victimizers as victims. It is utterly farcical that Robert George — a man who has dedicated his life to curtailing liberties and limiting the freedoms of those who hold different beliefs — would be named to a commission that oversees liberty. But given George’s demonization of LGBT people and his group’s appalling use of racial politics, Boehner’s appointment may ultimately backfire with Latino and African American voters.
A few years ago, I attended a conference in Orlando, FL by the Presbyterian “ex-gay” group, OnebyOne. The group’s affable leaders showered me with attention and tried really hard to convince me that I had wrongly portrayed them as haters, when they were actually just a cuddly bunch of love muffins. Today, we learn that OnebyOne lied to me because they have invited Linda Harvey, “The Most Homophobic Woman in America,” to speak at their Pittsburgh gathering in July:
Presbyterian Ex-gay group OneByOne will host Linda Harvey at their luncheon, Tuesday, July 3 (12:00 – 1:30 pm)
Speaker: Linda Harvey: Founder of Mission America “Same-Sex Marriage: The Destructive Impact on America’s Youth” Tonic Bar and Grill 917 Liberty Avenue (one block from the main entrance of the Pittsburgh Convention Center)
So, they love us, but we are destroying America’s youth?
That OnebyOne group is a a cynical bunch of two-faced, truth challenged scoundrels, who have invited a heinous individual who lacks a conscience to slime the LGBT people. Do you feel the love? I sure don’t.
“There are a few homosexual doctors treating kids, there are far more nurses, LPNs, technicians and other health care workers in these lifestyles so you may want to consider writing a letter that you file with your pediatrician that should your child ever be hospitalized, you do not want your child to be treated or cared for by one of these members of the Children’s Hospital gay employees group except in the case of an emergency situation.”
Harvey is also opposed to openly LGBT schoolteachers and claimed on her website that that, “These teachers then become role models, in-house activists, and possible confidants for students who want to start homosexual behavior. Student molestation becomes a real risk.”
Here are just a few studies showing that Harvery has no clue what she is talking about:
A 2000 study by Dr. Michael R. Stevenson concluded, “A gay man is no more likely than a straight man to perpetrate sexual activity on children.” A 1994 study by Dr. Carole Jenny found that less than one-percent of the children in her study were abused by a gay man or lesbian. In 1978, Drs. Nicholas Groth and Jean Birnbaum found that none of the 175 molesters in their study had an exclusively homosexual adult orientation.
Harvey’s work is truly disgusting and I am appalled that OnebyOne is enabling her to spread her ridiculous rubbish. It is particularly hypocritical for OnebyOne to invite Harvey, when you consider that they have a document on their website listing “The Top Five Myths About Ex-Gay Ministry,” with myth number three being, “Ex-Gay Ministries Promote Guilt and Condemnation.”
Obviously, the “most homophobic woman in America” is a fountain of unending guilt and shame. OnebyOne has lost whatever shard of credibility that it had with this despicable and immoral guest booking. It is also worth noting that OnebyOne lists JONAH convicted felon, Arthur Abba Goldberg, on its speaker’s bureau, without giving relevant details about his criminal past. What kind of sleazy outfit omits such pertinent information? Don’t people booking speakers for allegedly “moral” institutions have the right to know about the real Arthur Abba Goldberg?
(This reminds me of Exodus International’s similar efforts to appear loving and mainstream — yet, we just learned that Exodus activist Joe Dallas is speaking at the notorious and noxious PFOX organization. Do these sleaze merchants ever tell the truth? Are they even capable of it?)
If you feel like I do, please express your feelings to OnebyOne’s Jeff Winter:
I was doing a bit of research this morning and I stumbled upon a “Quack Classic” by Dr. Joseph Nicolosi, co-founder of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH). In a book he co-wrote with his wife Linda Nicolosi, “A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality,” he opines:
I have also seen this same intense fascination with neutered or genderless cartoon characters. One father told me that his son, who is now involved in homosexuality and is refusing to consider change, had a boyhood fascination with Bozo the clown. At the time his parents thought it was cute, even if a little strange. But he held onto the obsession until the age of twelve. The truth is, these obsessive interests are boys’ attempts to lose themselves in a fantasy world where they can imagine themselves as something other than male and where the challenges of gender do not exist. (P. 67)
How does Dr. Nicolosi know that this is “the truth” and not some surreal theory he pulled out of his posterior? And aren’t most forms of entertainment attempts to lose oneself in a fantasy world — such as watching sports, going to the movies, drinking beer, watching television, or playing video games?
Here is the truth: When one reads such idiotic notions it is a reminder of why the entire field of “ex-gay” therapy should be easily dismissed and not taken seriously. Such therapy exists, not as science, but as a cynical public relations stunt designed to trick people into thinking the medical field echos the opinions of fundamentalist Christians on homosexuality.
However, the more one reads about the techniques and ideas espoused by “doctors” like Nicolosi, the easier it is to see through the nonsense. So-called Reparative Therapy is a joke perpetuated by religious individuals playing doctor who obviously have psychological disturbances and severe sexual hangups. The bizarre ideas they come up with prove that they are on the wrong side of the couch and are in serious need of professional help.
This is the same buffoonish book where Nicolosi tells fathers that “The experience of taking showers together has the potential to strengthen a boy’s identification with his father and his father’s masculinity, as well as with his own male anatomy.”
To bolster his position, Nicolosi quotes Dr. George Rekers, the infamous quack who got caught taking a young male escort to Europe that he met on Rentboy.com:
If the son repeatedly touches his father’s privates every time they take a shower together, Dr. Rekers advises the father to say, “I don’t mind if you look at my penis, because I’m your dad and seeing what my grownup penis looks like helps you learn how your body will grow up to be like mine. But now that you’ve already touched it to see what it’s like, I need to teach you that we guys don’t touch each other’s penises — unless we’re a doctor examining a patient or a parent giving a little boy his bath or checking if a boy needs medicine if he complains his private parts hurt or itch. Furthermore, the father should explain that when a boy touches his own penis, he should do so in private.” (P. 187)
This creepy claptrap is what “reparative therapy” is all about. These are the pathetic products and wacky ideas that PFOX, JONAH, and Exodus International have been peddling to clients for years.
And they wonder why they are laughed at and mocked by thinking society. But such tomfoolery masquerading as science is fully deserving of scorn and belly laughs. Clearly, “ex-gay” activists are not serious people and they promote almost child-like, superstitious notions on human sexuality that must be confronted and dismissed by the modern world.
Here is Nicolosi spewing more unscientific trash, such as a trauma, sexual abuse, or a distant father can turn boys gay. Or maybe it is an older brother good at sports that makes the timid younger brother gay. It is important that people realize that no mainstream, credible scientific organization in the world supports Nicolosi’s carackpot ideas.
Exodus International’s former Vice President, Randy Thomas, has always been rather truth challenged — much like his old boss Alan Chambers. Yesterday, he took me to task for criticizing Chambers for “queening out” in a video — which clearly shows that he is still GAY — not the “ex-gay” he purports and gets paid to be.
Highlighting this bizarre video is important — not simply for a chance “mock” the utter ridiculousness and unprofessional demeanor or Chambers — but to point out his rancid hypocrisy. Exodus does two things:
1) It is a place where clients pay big bucks to “pray away the gay”
2) It enforces strict gender roles and traffics in outdated stereotypes.
Before we go any further, I will remind you that Thomas was Exodus’ political hack and worked hard to take away our equal rights. A report published by the Southern Poverty Law Center in November 2010, analyzing FBI data from 1995 to 2008, found that LGBT people are 2.6 times more likely to be attacked than blacks; 4.4 times more likely than Muslims; 13.8 times more likely than Latinos; and 41.5 times more likely than whites. Still Thomas (pictured on far right) felt obliged to insult the victims of hate crimes by posing in this disgusting ad:
He also worked the political system to try to help pass the Federal Marriage Amendment that would have written LGBT couples out of the US Constitution. Here he is chilling with Karl Rove:
Anyway — Thomas accuses me of “mocking” Chambers — which is true because he deserves it. There is spectacular hypocrisy and serious cognitive dissonance when a man runs an “ex-gay” program obsessed with rigid gender roles, then turns around and prances in a video. Here is the video in question:
Alan Chambers bitterly complained and said he was being “bullied.” He then essentially claimed I was distorting the truth by using old material to represent Exodus:
“And, for the record, Exodus doesn’t help people become masculine or feminine. Those types of things haven’t been around in decades. Your information is outdated an [sic] you know it.”
First, Chambers never apologized for the many lives his organization trashed and destroyed by the methods and techniques he now breezily claims are no longer part of his program. Shouldn’t the people who were harmed by the lipstick seminars and masculinity exercises, at the very least, be given their money back?
Second, the stereotypes peddled by Exodus are not a relic of the past, but a very real part of the modern Exodus literature and programs. Chambers is simply lying when he claims Exodus has changed its tune. For example, the Love Won Out in Atlanta this past weekend sold Janet Boynes book, Called Out. Here is a passage from that book.
“In the years since those early first steps of faith, I have gradually gained confidence as a woman. I know that I have made a fool of myself trying to learn how to walk in heels and there are definitely days when I feel more comfortable in a sweatshirt and blue jeans, but I have been learning little by little. I have grown my hair out and regularly get my nails done.” (p. 67)
Um, sounds like Exodus minister Janet Boynes is doing exactly what Chambers says is outdated. Chambers should explain why Exodus is selling this book promoting gender stereotypes?
If this wasn’t bad enough, Exodus current workbook and DVD set, Hope for Wholeness is a cesspool of gender stereotypes and distortions on masculinity and femininity. Examining this “ex-gay”curriculum reveals an organization fixated on placing men and women in 1950′s gender boxes. The women, in particular, are browbeaten into conforming and portrayed as transforming from “Ugly Dykeling” to “Straight Swan.” Take a look at Exodus current rhetoric that it is selling to its clients for $330:
If masculinity is an achievement — than Alan Chambers obviously has not lived up to the program goals he is peddling to desperate and vulnerable people.
I’d love to know which part of women’s rights Exodus believes had a negative impact. Was it voting or working outside the home? Was it allowing women to control their lives with birth control? Was it allowing women to leave unsatisfying or abusive marriages?
In the above figure, Exodus is selling the lie about gay men being passive and how they can be more assertive. Say, like Alan Chambers, who is so assertive that he can skip on a video and not see how odd it looks for an “ex-gay” activist.
Yes, let’s browbeat girls into becoming Stepford Wives and bully boys until they know not to prance in pubic videos…oh, wait.
Check out the junk pseudoscience and bogus cause and effect relationships that Exodus still uses to this day. it is unbelievable that they want to be taken seriously when they rely on these anachronistic ideas that no credible expert has believed since before Richard Nixon was president.
And here is my favorite — Janet Boynes great “fakeover” — showing that Exodus is nothing, if not a series of “before and after” pictures designed to bilk clients into believing that they can act stereotypically straight if they just place their trust and cash in Exodus.
I’ve vividly shown that Exodus is untruthful when they claim their emphasis on gender boxes is a thing of the past. Chambers “outrage” was nothing more than a cynical tactic to elicit sympathy by playing the victim. As the above evidence show, Chambers and his enablers, such as Thomas, are actually the victimizers.
I’m going to end by expressing my disdain for Thomas, who leveled a gossip-laden passive aggressive smear job on me on his vanity blog.
Commenting on TWO’s PFOX lawsuit he wrote:
My guess is … not that it really matters but I have had run-in’s with both Greg and Wayne … Greg probably said what he said to generate sympathy and support through negative attention seeking. Wayne is doing the same thing to try and raise money from his own activist base of support.
To draw a moral equivalence between Quinlan’s outrageous claim and our trying to raise money to support our lawsuit is unseemly. Perhaps if Exodus had raised more money, Thomas would still have his old job.
Here’s where Thomas’ lack of decency and morality shines through:
But truly, who knows the whole story? What if Greg is repeating something he was told by someone he trusted who was lying or … not? I’ve had people tell me all kinds of horrible things that Wayne has allegedly done and said but I saw it for the gossip it was. I wouldn’t repeat it publicly because I don’t know that it is really true even though I have reason to trust the folks who told me.
First, Thomas is deliberately spewing innuendo and engaging in gossip when he claims, “I’ve had people tell me all kinds of horrible things that Wayne has allegedly done.” Only a sleaze merchant would make such an allegation without backing it up. Please, Randy, name the people and the specific allegations — and if you can’t you shouldn’t be printing such trash. And, if you elect to publish these allegations, please be advised that if they are not true, you and the people involved will be also be facing lawsuits.
The difference between you, Quinlan — and myself — is that I am willing to take both a polygraph and NoLie MRI to prove my innocence. I’m guessing that neither Quinlan, nor yourself, and your alleged friends who made alleged charges would fare so well in such truth-telling tests.
Finally, what really bothers me about Thomas’ rant is that he is not fully disclosing the facts. He writes that he has heard rumors and allegations from unnamed sources that likely only exist in his vivid imagination. Why would he rely on such alleged tales when he has met me in person several times? I believe the last time I had contact with Thomas we dined together at the One-by-One “ex-gay” conference in Orlando, Florida. At lunch, we had a rather civil and pleasant conversation about politics.
Prior to this, Thomas was assigned to monitor me at an Exodus conference in Asheville, NC while I was writing my book, Anything But Straight. Again, the interaction was rather innocuous and we engaged in small talk as he shadowed me. Given this personal interaction, I would think that Thomas would have the dignity and class to clearly state that my in-person behavior at “ex-gay” events and with “ex-gay” activists is non-confrontational and completely respectful. He knows this from experience, yet elected to conceal this fact, and instead spread gossip — which I believe the Bible has something to say about.
Come to think of it, given our pleasant in-person history, I’m considering putting Thomas under oath to testify as a character witness for our side in the PFOX case.
At a recent Gay Christian Network conference in Orlando, Exodus President Alan Chambers claimed: “We’re not here to change you. That is our message….We can’t do that… ‘Change is Possible’ we don’t use that phrase anymore…I’m sorry that that is something that we used.”
Sadly, Justin Lee, the Executive Director of GCN, fell for Chambers’ act and said on stage to Chambers, “I hear you and I believe you when I hear you say that this is not a slogan you are using any more.”
Truth Wins Out filed a special report, The Exodus Smokescreen, pointing out that Exodus-affiliated ministries at the state level still widely claim that “change” is possible. Truth Wins Out presented further evidence that Chambers deliberately misled the GCN crowd after we obtained literature last weekend from Exodus’ Love Won Out conference.
If these vivid examples of Chambers’ dishonesty were not enough, Exodus author and speaker Joe Dallas is going to give a keynote address at Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays (PFOX) March 16-17 Family First retreat, where parents will be taught to rationalize rejecting their children’s sexual orientation. On PFOX’s homepage there is this billboard:
If Exodus International’s Chambers is truly “sorry that that is something we used,” isn’t it immoral for Joe Dallas to speak at a group that sill uses this misleading phrase? Why is Chambers allowing Dallas to speak at this event? Why would Dallas agree to talk there, if the message of PFOX is clearly at odds with that of Exodus?
It makes even less sense when you consider that Dallas told the Los Angeles Times on April 5, 1990, “No one has ever left therapy saying, ‘Wow, I have absolutely no homosexual thoughts.’”
Friday and Saturday, March 16-17, 2012 for a PFOX family and friends weekend.
The weekend will focus on uniting families through unconditional love.
Joe Dallas will be our opening speaker. Joe’s ministry in sexual addiction recovery and homosexuality is nationally recognized. He is the author of The Game Plan and The Men’s 30-Day Strategy for Attaining Sexual Integrity, and Program Director of Genesis Counseling in Tustin, Calif., a counseling ministry for men dealing with sexual addiction, homosexuality and other sexual/relational problems. He is a pastoral counselor, a popular conference speaker and author of five books on human sexuality from the Christian perspective.
This is a two-day experience for parents and friends of gay, lesbian and transgendered children. This is NOT a parent-child retreat, but an experience for parents who unconditionally love their children.
PFOX will provide educational resources, testimonies from former homosexuals and transgenders. You’ll have the opportunity to meet and form friendships with families who understand and share your feelings.
Friday’s meetings are from 7:30-9:30 PM.
Saturday’s meetings are from 8:30 AM to 8:00 PM.Breakfast, lunch and dinner are included.
The cost to attend the Retreat is $90 per person or $150 for two family members. Special discounts available to clergy. No walk-in registrations. Last day to register is March 3, 2012.
It is time that Chambers admits that he lied at GCN or acknowledges that he is so incompetent that he has virtually no control over his “ex-gay” racket. If anyone ever again says that “I believe you” when they are talking to Alan Chambers, without evidence to corroborate his tale — I’m going to pull my hair out.
Exodus International continues its notable decline in the United States with another poorly attended Love Won Out conference. Exodus spokesperson Chris Stump said only 400 people were at Midway Church, where the event took place. However, judging by the number of cars in the parking lot and the number of people exiting the building for lunch, it appears that Stump’s generous estimate was a bit of a stretch. Love Won Out is a shell of its former glory when it was administered by Focus on the Family — where the “ex-gay” road show regularly drew more than 1,000 people.
This event was highly anticipated because Exodus President Alan Chambers had recently told a crowd of gay Christians that Exodus was altering its message. Chambers also told the Gay Christian Network: “We’re not here to change you. That is our message. It is something that we have to say. We can’t do that… ‘Change is Possible’ we don’t use that phrase anymore…I’m sorry that that is something that we used.”
Additionally, Chambers admitted: “The majority of people I have met, and the majority meaning 99.9% of them, have not experienced a change in their sexual orientation or have gotten to a place where they can say they have never been tempted or are not tempted in some way or experience some level of same-sex attraction.”
Would these new realities be reflected in Atlanta? Those who follow these groups were more than curious if Love Won Out would take a new tone.
Not surprisingly, Exodus did not turn over a new leaf, but presented the same old tired lies. For example, at the event, Exodus sold an exorbitantly expensive $330 DVD set and workbook, “Hope for Wholeness,” that explicitly touted the “change” that Chambers said his organization no longer promotes. Here are vivid examples taken directly from a Hope for Wholeness workbook that I purchased at Atlanta’s Love Won Out this weekend.
It is time that the LGBT community stops placing even a shard of hope in Exodus President Alan Chambers. He appears to be incapable of telling the truth and lies for sport. He often tries to distance himself from such lies by claiming he is sometimes unaware when local Exodus member ministries use the language of “change.” However, Chambers can’t wiggle his way out of the fact that his picture is on the back of the nine-part “Hope for Wholeness” DVD set and he is described as one of its “teachers.” (Pictured top left)
Additionally, this DVD-set featured Desert Stream ministries activist Andy Comisky, who calls homosexuality “spiritual disfigurement.” Comisky wrote in his book, Pursuing Sexual Wholeness that “Satan delights in homosexual perversion because it not only exists outside of marriage, but it also defiles God’ very image reflected as male and female…Another related source of demonization is the homosexual relationship itself…That attachment and communion are indeed inspired, but their source is demonic.”
Exodus also was selling Jeanette Howard’s book, “Out of Egypt: One Woman’s Journey Out of Lesbianism.” In her book she writes, “Choosing to leave the lesbian life brings us into direct conflict with the satanic realm….only when we understand and implement spiritual warfare can our walk into wholeness be successful.”
Clearly, Exodus has not changed its ugly and bigoted rhetoric as Chambers claimed at the GCN conference. What he did was use his platform at GCN to strategically reposition Exodus’ brand by making the group appear more mainstream. While many people were not fooled, there were some gullible activists who believed Chambers, in spite of robust evidence that contradicted the Exodus leaders false and misleading claims.
To protest these lies, Truth Wins Out joined Get Equal GA and several local Atlanta organizations, including the Queer Justice League, to demonstrate outside the mega-church where Love Won Out was being held on Saturday. The demonstration brought out 50 people.
On Friday, Truth Wins Out and the Southern Poverty Law Center held a press conference to discuss the dangers of Exodus. SPLC’s Sam Wolfe and I spoke, as well as “ex-gay” survivor Chaim Levin. ProjectQAtlanta videotaped Chaim’s powerful testimony:
On Thursday, TWO’s Wayne Besen, SPLC’s Wolfe and Ashley Jackson and Levin hosted held a compelling seminar on the harm caused by “ex-gay” programs. A fascinating panel discussion took place following our multimedia presentations. The local panelists included:
Jon Diggs: National Certified Counselor – Evolution Project (AID Atlanta)
Rev T.J. McGiffert; Chaplain at Dekalb Medical and SoulForce Member
Rev Paul Turner; Pastor of Gentle Spirit Church
Dr. Gwen Davies; Licensed Psychologist – Clinical Director at Positive Impact
Mrs. Patti Ellis; Activist Mother of Gay Son – Runs Website FamilyAcceptance.com
Allen Peebles; Ex-Gay Survivor
Rev Tony Jones; Pastor of Unity Fellowship Church
Special thanks to GetEQUAL GA’s Paul Schappaugh and the Queer Justice League’s Art Izzard. Both men did an amazing job organizing and were the driving force behind our efforts to counter the “ex-gay” myth in Atlanta. Truth Wins Out was honored to work with them and we are thankful for their warm hospitality while we were in Atlanta.
Last week, TWO’s Director of Communications & Development John Becker did a last-minute interview with progressive talk phenom David Pakman about Alan Chambers’ confusing statement that it’s impossible to pray away the gay. Unless you’re Alan Chambers, who was able to… err, what was that? As David and John discussed (and as Wayne wrote in the latest TWO Special Report), it will be interesting to see how Chambers and Exodus spin this going forward, both at next week’s Love Won Out conference in Atlanta and beyond.
Exodus Wants You to Believe It Has Changed Its Ways and Gone Mainstream. The Problem Is, It’s Not True.
On November 30, 2011, Ex-Gay Watch writer David Roberts reported that the world’s largest “ex-gay” organization, Exodus International, was on the verge of financial collapse. The crisis was a result of declining ministry attendance, a history of failed “ex-gay” activists, a more LGBT-supportive younger generation, and debt from an ill-advised purchase of a $1.1 million building during the height of the real estate bubble.
To stanch the bleeding, the group’s leaders held an emergency meeting in New York on Nov. 16. At the clandestine gathering, according to Roberts, Exodus President Alan Chambers (pictured) emphasized making Exodus more “donor accessible” by “re-branding” the organization into “something more palatable to those with funds to give, and the general public alike.”
It appears that Chambers’ first attempt at enacting this new strategy occurred at the Gay Christian Network’s (GCN’s) annual conference in Orlando on Jan. 5-8. In a fascinating panel discussion, Chambers endured scrutiny of his record by former Exodus leaders John Smid (Love in Action), Wendy Gritter (New Directions), and Jeremy Marks (Courage).
During the tense two-hour exchange, Chambers admitted what LGBT advocates who follow these groups have said for years:
“The majority of people I have met, and the majority meaning 99.9% of them, have not experienced a change in their sexual orientation or have gotten to a place where they can say they have never been tempted or are not tempted in some way or experience some level of same-sex attraction.”
This begs the obvious question: Why is Exodus still in business given a 99.9% failure-rate? It seems that embracing Exodus to change one’s sexual orientation makes about as much sense as basing one’s retirement plan on winning the lottery.
In 2006, Chambers brazenly told the San Francisco Chronicle that there are “hundreds of thousands of ex-gays.” Surely, he knew at this time that his heavily advertised programs were not changing people from gay-to-straight, yet Exodus continued collecting money from desperate and vulnerable clients based on these baked numbers, which I believe constitutes consumer fraud.
However, there is a larger and more relevant question facing us today: Was Chambers’ statement at GCN proof that Exodus is turning over a new leaf or was he simply espousing new lies to assist with the cynical “rebranding” efforts dubiously floated in New York?
This key question will be partially answered in Atlanta, where Exodus will hold its Feb. 18 Love Won Out conference. Many eyes will be fixed on this event because it is the first time that Chambers will speak to his base following the GCN panel discussion.
Now that Chambers has admitted that his program is essentially worthless, will he bravely impart this message to the conservative parents who will attend this upcoming conference and desperately want Exodus to provide a “cure” for their child’s homosexuality? Will he risk letting the unvarnished truth upset his political right wing base that pays his salary? Will Chambers purge his program of virulently anti-gay books that portray homosexuality as the work of Satan?
Damning evidence uncovered by Truth Wins Out incontrovertibly proves that Exodus has not altered its message and may be involved in a strategic campaign of subterfuge to trick news reporters and gullible LGBT activists into believing it has moderated its message.
Truth Wins Out’s research reveals that Exodus appears to be engaged in a new two-pronged strategy:
1) Alan Chambers is moderating his tone in mainstream media interviews and in interactions with LGBT advocates, while toning down homophobic language on the group’s main website. The hope is to create a façade that will marginalize LGBT advocates that criticize the group’s work. Chambers also hopes to persuade news reporters that Exodus is not stridently anti-gay.
2) While the unsuspecting or easily duped focus on Chambers’ slick marketing campaign, the same misleading and toxic anti-gay messages historically associated with Exodus will continue unabated below the radar at local Exodus affiliates.
This cynical strategy is very similar to the GOP presidential primaries where Mitt Romney smiled and stayed above the fray in Iowa, while letting his Super PAC bombard Newt Gingrich with negative ads. Because the attacks were not directly from the campaign, it offered Romney a thin veneer of plausible deniability. “Hey, I never said those terrible things about Newt.”
At Exodus, Chambers is smiling and presenting himself as a nice guy who has seen the error of his homophobic ways. Meanwhile his metaphorical Super PAC (the local Exodus affiliates) are engaged in the familiar culture war that destroys the self-esteem and lives of innocent LGBT people, particularly youth.
It is of critical importance that people understand that what Alan Chambers says publicly means essentially nothing unless his words are fully backed by the actions of local Exodus affiliates where the real “pray away the gay” programs occur.
For example, at the GCN discussion, Chambers alleged that media sensationalism is responsible for distorting the image of his organization. He bitterly complained that talk shows falsely describe him as someone who “overcame same-sex attractions…That has to be clarified.”
Such clarification could begin with Chambers who conveniently failed to disclose to the GCN crowd that Exodus lists on its website a ministry affiliate named “Overcomers Outreach Center.” If Chambers does not want the media to claim he “overcame” homosexuality, he should demand that this ministry find a more accurate name that does not deceive clients.
Chambers went on to tell the GCN crowd: “I hate the term ‘ex-gay.’ I don’t use the term ‘ex-gay.’ I hope I don’t lead an ‘ex-gay’ ministry.”
Sadly, Chambers’ remark has little resemblance to reality, with few Exodus affiliates getting the memo. For example, the Christian Collation for Reconciliation proudly boasts on its website that it is, “a member ministry of Exodus-International since 1987, the oldest ex-gay ministry in the state of Texas.”
At GCN, Chambers also vehemently rejected the idea that his organization “prays away the gay.” While Exodus does not use this phrase, it does accurately capture the essence of this organization as objectively judged by the language used by its affiliates. For instance, one flagship ministry, Portland Fellowship, claims, “freedom from homosexuality comes through a person…the Lord Jesus Christ.” The group says it has helped “hundreds of men and women find biblical resolution to their homosexuality.”
Desert Stream Ministries, based in Kansas City, tells clients “the cross is God’s answer to homosexuality.” Exodus can play semantic games all it wants, but reasonable people will conclude that these programs sound an awful lot like “praying away the gay.”
Most disturbing is when Chambers told the GCN gathering: “We’re not here to change you. That is our message. It is something that we have to say. We can’t do that… ‘Change is Possible’ we don’t use that phrase anymore…I’m sorry that that is something that we used.”
One can only conclude by this false statement that Chambers is either malevolent or incompetent. Malevolent in that he is presenting an insincere portrait of Exodus, or breathtakingly incompetent in that he is completely oblivious to what is actually occurring under his nose at Exodus affiliates.
For example, Exodus-affiliate Truth Ministry, based in South Carolina, uses the slogan “Healing from homosexuality through Jesus Christ.” The ministry’s executive director, McKrae Game, has an article posted on the group’s website titled “Is Change Possible?” and a picture of a billboard on the site reads, “I questioned homosexuality. Change is possible. Discover how.”
Another Exodus affiliate, “Carolina New Song” writes on its website that “Our goal is to provide help in achieving an optimum level of healing and change.”
Still another key Exodus-affiliate, Living Hope in Dallas, is still making it appear that the group can “change” people from gay-to-straight. Next to a picture of a good looking man who appears happy, Living Hope tells potential clients: “We believe God has given men a powerful voice to speak truth and life into the world and bring about meaningful change.”
Most revealing is that the bogus message of “change” that Chambers pretends to reject when speaking to an LGBT audience, is occurring in his own backyard. The website of Orlando Exodus-affiliate “Exchange” peddles the message that it offers potential clients “hope for wholeness” and a place where they will be “Finding Freedom From Homosexuality.”
Exchange has an article by Scott Kingry that discusses “leaving homosexuality behind.” In his piece he rhetorically asks, “Can a person change his or her orientation? I believe the answer is yes, but the level of a person’s emotional, physical and spiritual damage might prolong a person’s process. Also, how serious a person’s own motivation is for seeking change may also affect a desired outcome.”
In other words, the Exodus ministry geographically closest to Chambers is peddling the same old “change” myth and then dangerously blaming the victims as unmotivated or too damaged when Exodus’ program inevitably fails.
Obviously, Chambers is either lying or clueless when he portrays the incendiary and misleading “Change is Possible” phrase as a slogan from the past. It is not only widespread as part of present day Exodus rhetoric, but there seems to be no mechanism to curtail its use in future Exodus campaigns at the local level – where the actual programs are instituted. (We showed a few examples of doubletalk, but they were really just the tip of the iceberg)
Sadly, it appears Chambers’ public relations gimmick may pay off. Justin Lee, the Executive Director of GCN, fell for Chambers’ act and said on stage to Chambers, “I hear you and I believe you when I hear you say that this is not a slogan you are using any more.”
Lee should understand that an examination of Exodus’ rhetoric and programs is not about belief but cold, hard facts. When we allow deceptive “ex-gay” activists to con people into thinking that they are mainstream, we do a great disservice to the people we are trying to keep from being victimized. (Note: GCN and Lee did an admirable job with most of the panel and actually did engage Chambers and ask some tough questions.)
Exodus remains a radical, extreme, dangerous, and scientifically bankrupt organization with a toxic message, particularly when it is aimed at youth. At the GNC event Chambers said, “With regards to youth, I think it is a wonderful thing for youth inside the conservative families to have an option through a ministry of Exodus, as long as it is done well. If it isn’t done well, I hope that I will hear about it and we can make these changes.”
As previously demonstrated, Chambers either has no idea about what is going on inside affiliate ministries, or is completely aware and is deliberately concealing the facts. On the GCN panel, John Smid, (pictured) former President of Exodus’ Board, pointedly refuted Chambers’ assertion that Exodus was a healthy environment for youth. (Smid now identifies as gay)
“How many years has Exodus Youth been in ministry? And how many young people today are alienated from their families, their safety, their homes, their parents, their funding, and I never knew that before, because I did not understand it, and wouldn’t receive that. But it is absolutely true, they are.”
This month, Rolling Stone magazine vividly outlined how Exodus’ youth programs can torment students. The article, by Sabrina Rubin Erdely, followed an outbreak of LGBT youth suicides in Minnesota’s Anoka-Hennepin school district (also Michele Bachmann’s congressional district), which has been sued for enacting anti-gay policies. One of the teenagers featured in Rolling Stone, Justin Aaberg, had been harassed by zealous students at an Exodus-sponsored school event just prior to his suicide:
Justin shrugged and smiled, then retreated to his room. It had been a hard day: the annual “Day of Truth” had been held at school, an evangelical event then-sponsored by the anti-gay ministry Exodus International, whose mission is to usher gays back to wholeness and “victory in Christ” by converting them to heterosexuality. Day of Truth has been a font of controversy that has bounced in and out of the courts; its legality was affirmed last March, when a federal appeals court ruled that two Naperville, Illinois, high school students’ Day of Truth T-shirts reading BE HAPPY, NOT GAY were protected by their First Amendment rights. (However, the event, now sponsored by Focus on the Family, has been renamed “Day of Dialogue.”) Local churches had been touting the program, and students had obediently shown up at Anoka High School wearing day of truth T-shirts, preaching in the halls about the sin of homosexuality. Justin wanted to brush them off, but was troubled by their proselytizing. Secretly, he had begun to worry that maybe he was an abomination, like the Bible said.”
…“‘Justin?’ Tammy Aaberg rapped on her son’s locked bedroom door again. It was past noon, and not a peep from inside, unusual for Justin.
‘Justin?’ She could hear her own voice rising as she pounded harder, suddenly overtaken by a wild terror she couldn’t name. ‘Justin!’ she yelled. Tammy grabbed a screwdriver and loosened the doorknob. She pushed open the door. He was wearing his Anoka High School sweatpants and an old soccer shirt. His feet were dangling off the ground. Justin was hanging from the frame of his futon, which he’d taken out from under his mattress and stood upright in the corner of his room. Screaming, Tammy ran to hold him and recoiled at his cold skin. His limp body was grotesquely bloated – her baby – eyes closed, head lolling to the right, a dried smear of saliva trailing from the corner of his mouth. His cheeks were strafed with scratch marks, as though in his final moments he’d tried to claw his noose loose. He’d cinched the woven belt so tight that the mortician would have a hard time masking the imprint it left in the flesh above Justin’s collar.
Still screaming, Tammy ran to call 911. She didn’t notice the cellphone on the floor below Justin’s feet, containing his last words, a text in the wee hours:
:-( he had typed to a girlfriend.
What’s wrong
Nothing
I can come over
No I’m fine
Are you sure you’ll be ok
No it’s ok I’ll be fine, I promise
In defending his dangerous youth program and excusing the continued use of reckless terminology, Chambers disingenuously pretends he has little power over Exodus affiliates, even though he tries to project an aura of power as the group’s president.
“You can’t imagine how difficult it is to steer a ship like Exodus, the size of Exodus with regards to these type of issues…it is difficult and I have been very careful not to confuse a large constituency of people too quickly with terminology changes.”
Of course, we all know this excuse is patently absurd. In a single e-mail, Chambers can instruct all affiliates to stop outright saying or manipulating language to imply that “change is possible.” In the same communication, Chambers can demand an immediate cessation of all work relating to Exodus Youth. Furthermore, he can warn that all ministries that do not comply with his dictate will lose their official status as an affiliate. It is beyond laughable for Chambers to pretend that he has no say in such matters and is little more than a helpless bystander to enacting changes within his own organization.
The upcoming Love Won Out seminar in Atlanta is Chambers’ first opportunity to show that he has the integrity to tell a conservative Christian audience exactly what he told GCN: Exodus’ programs don’t work.
If Chambers delivers the same, tired, anti-gay message espoused at previous conferences, he will be permanently viewed as a two-faced charlatan. Only through a radical departure from the past, an entirely new message, and a demand of total compliance by Exodus affiliates, will Chambers’ reality finally begin to match his rhetoric.
The world is waiting for real repentance, not the rebranding of a failed product. Atlanta could signify a new beginning for Exodus, or the absolute end of people ever again believing a word Alan Chambers has to say. This may be his last opportunity to show that “Change is Possible” for Exodus International.
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Fight back against Exodus’ lies in Atlanta:
‘Love Won Out’ community meeting
Thursday, Feb. 16, 7:30 p.m.
Lutheran Church of the Redeemer
731 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30308
Protest
Saturday, Feb. 18, 10 a.m. – 1 p.m.
Midway Church
3915 Carrollton-Villa Rica Highway
Villa Rica, GA 30180 www.facebook.com/QJL.Atlanta
Ever since it was reported the other day that actress Cynthia Nixon, a bit indignantly, said that for her, being gay is a “choice,” I’ve been trying to get my thoughts together on exactly how I feel about what she said, and why it bothers me. Here’s the exact quote, and then I’ll tell you what I think about it:
I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me.
Writer Alex Witchel reports that “her face was red and her arms were waving” as she continued, “It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate,” Nixon said. “I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive.”
Cynthia Nixon’s experience is Cynthia Nixon’s experience, of course, so to be clear, we are not debating that. I think that the biggest problem with her quote is that it’s irresponsible, because it introduces a concept and a reality that is really hard to capture in a sound bite. The trouble with that is that the very same bigots she refers to are simply not going to go beyond the sound bite, and choose instead to point at her and say, “see? She said it’s a choice! Now change.”
The truth of the matter, as science has been discovering for a while now, is that sexuality is far, far more complex than we’ve understood in the past, and that indeed, one of the major “x factors” involved in how people experience sexuality has more to do with how many x chromosomes they have, and less to do with whether they’re homo-, hetero- or bisexual. Tracy Clark-Flory examines this at Salon:
Activists have long combated extremist attacks on LGBT identities by highlighting the science showing that homosexuality is genetic — or, in the words of Lady Gaga, that gay people are “born that way.” It may be that simple for some, but research increasingly suggests that it isn’t for all — especially for gay women.
Lisa Diamond, a psychology professor at the University of Utah, spent over a decade tracking sexual identity changes in a group of 100 women for her book “Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire.” She wrote, “Women’s sexuality is fundamentally more fluid than men’s, permitting greater variability in its development and expression over the life course.” Based on her research, she describes three main ways that sexual fluidity is expressed: “nonexclusivity in attractions” (i.e., the capacity to find all genders sexually attractive), “changes in attractions” (i.e., suddenly becoming romantically involved with a woman after a lifetime dating men) and the capacity to become attracted to ‘the person and not the gender’” (i.e., a partner’s sex is irrelevant).
[...]
Copious research has revealed striking differences in male and female sexual orientation and arousal. In immensely awkward studies measuring men’s hard-ons while viewing various sexual stimuli, most guys have a strong response to either males or females; and their sexual orientation generally predicts their physical reaction. On the other hand, Bailey explains, “Women’s genital sexual arousal pattern is much less predictive of their sexual identity and their stated preferences,” he says. “Lesbians have a relatively weaker arousal preference for female sexual stimuli, on average, and straight women have no preference at all, on average.”
Okay. so, if you’re an honest person and you pay attention to this stuff, you already knew all of this. If you’re a decent person, it doesn’t change your support for things like marriage equality and nondiscrimination acts. Because it doesn’t matter! On that point, Cynthia Nixon and I agree. However, where it gets difficult, in this sound bite world, is in explaining that, even acknowledging the fact that men’s sexuality tends to be pretty much what it is, from the first time we get boners associated with sexual thoughts, whereas women often experience sexuality in a much more complex way, that still doesn’t do a damn thing for the Religious Right’s argument that people should want to change from gay to straight. And because we’re dealing with the Religious Right, we are in a situation where we are not arguing with people who are willing or even capable of rational, detailed discourse. For them, it’s all about their ideology and about preserving white male conservative Christian heterosexuality as the only truly “okay” state of being. Also, it’s about control.
But they will, as I said above, use sound bites like that against us, which is why I think it’s irresponsible. Cynthia has lent her voice to our cause in very powerful ways over the years, so this is in no way an attack on her. I feel that, perhaps, maybe she could have said a bit more on the subject, perhaps not casually throwing the word “choice” around and instead talking about how her sexuality evolved in the way it did. Readers on this side of the spectrum pretty much get what she’s saying, I think, but the Religious Right hears “choice,” and they think “well that proves it. Cynthia Nixon woke up one morning and decided to embrace the homosexual lifestyle.” Cynthia is free to correct me if I am wrong, but I doubt that her story is that simple, or that the story for any other women who have experienced a more fluid sexuality is that simple.
Moreover, what of bisexuals? One of the silliest Religious Right lies out there, one that truly makes me shake my head in the direction of whatever rock they live under, is that bisexuals naturally will want/need to marry one person of each gender. Indeed, when bisexuals decide to settle down into relationships, they tend to choose a partner they’re compatible with, regardless of gender. Sometimes they end up with same-sex partners, sometimes they end up with opposite-sex partners. Because they’re bisexual! I don’t think Cynthia is necessarily bisexual — she surely disavowed the concept in her statement — but there are many bisexuals out there who, when settling down with partners, make a choice to settle down with either a man or a woman. This, of course, still shouldn’t give the Religious Right any reason to feel stronger in their argument that, due to unreasoned bigotry hiding behind a third-grade reading of an ancient holy book, those people should opt for opposite-sex partners.
Here’s what we know. Men, due to our biology, tend to have a fixed, lifelong sexual orientation that we experience regardless of any “choices” we make. Alan Chambers “chooses” to live in what I would assume is a fairly sexless marriage with a woman, while admitting that he still is very much into guys. Many women experience a sexual orientation that is fixed in just the same way, but others experience it in a more fluid way that can change over the course of their lives.
Here’s what else we know. All major, grown-up mental health and medical associations have stated that reparative therapy, religious attempts to change a person’s sexual orientation through outside force, are somewhere between ineffective and harmful. Moreover, all major, grown-up mental health and medical associations have very politely stated that there is nothing inherently unhealthy or disordered about being gay, bisexual or straight.
Here’s another what else we know. Religious wingnut arguments against homosexuality have absolutely no place in rational discourse, as they do not involve rational thought, but rather stupid bigotry dressed up in religious language. We also know that the Religious Right has a pattern of using the same “biblical” arguments against whatever the hell it is that they hate these days. For them, it is all about control and their petty unwillingness to play well with others in a secular society that doesn’t automatically give them blow jobs, ponies and first prize ribbons simply for existing.
We on the side of fairness, equality and reality should be comfortable with dealing with science and reality, as they are. Reality doesn’t threaten us. But we do, until this battle for equality is fully won, have to be careful with our rhetoric and our casual comments, because our enemy is not upstanding and is not honest. As I said above, perhaps with this issue, it’s better to explain more of the reality, not less. We are only beginning to truly understand human sexuality from a scientific perspective, and what we’re learning is fascinating. But it’s nothing as simple as “a choice,” and certainly not in the way the Religious Right uses that word.
Of course, I also agree with Cynthia that, however sexual orientation works, it shouldn’t matter when it comes to things like equal rights. I mean hell, we’ve given the Religious Right carte blanche for decades for their beliefs, and those beliefs are clearly chosen. No, this is about dignity, fairness and equal opportunity.
So maybe this is a teachable moment, for those willing to learn. Sexuality is far, far, far more complex than people often understand, and is fascinating to study. People deserve equal rights, regardless of their sexual orientation. Those two ideas shouldn’t have a hard time coexisting, as they haven’t a damn thing to do with one another.
