This post from Seth Bracken about an “ex-gay” conference put on by Evergreen International in Utah is hilarious and tragic. Seth visited the conference to learn the ways of the “ex-gays,” but instead dudes just hit on him all day:

“Is this your first conference?” The plump, balding middle-aged man I was sharing an elevator with, asked.

“Yeah, it is. Yours?” I responded, happy to make a friend that might be able to show me the ins and outs of the conference.

“Nope, I’ve been to tons. I love ‘em. So many cute guys here, kind of like you,” he said as he took a step closer to me and smirked.

“You smell good, would you like to feel good?” He asked me as we landed on the ninth floor for registration.

Lovely.

Exiting the elevator quickly, I practically ran into another pleasantly plump, balding middle-aged man. Sensing I was flustered, he asked me if I was OK.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just had a very surreal experience. A guy totally came onto me in the elevator and I wasn’t exactly expecting that here,” I said offering my hand to my new friend, introducing myself.

“Well I can’t say that I blame him, you’re a cutie. What are you doing after the conference? I have my own place not far from here, would you like to come over for some fun?”

“Jesus Christ!” I blurted out far too loudly. “What the hell is going on? I thought all you guys were trying not to be gay.”

Yes, but they are not succeeding because “ex-gay” therapy is fraud. Duh.

I was propositioned more times at a conference that was supposedly changing people straight than I ever have been at a Pride festival, gay bar or party. I had guys old enough to be my father putting their arms around me, bumping up against my leg and asking to take me home.

Gross. And then there was another one later named Chad, who really, really wanted to see Seth naked. I assume that’s part of the therapy. It’s sad, though, because Chad is a married doctor and he’s trying his damnedest not to “admit defeat,” i.e. come out of the closet. So instead he goes to “ex-gay” conferences and looks for dudes to have sexytime with. How insanely tragic.

This is the “change” Alan Chambers and his buddies so passionately defend. But then again, Alan admits that he’s still into dudes, and he’s the figurehead for the entire movement, so whatever.

See also Jesus’ General’s post on this, “Ex-homosexualists are the nicest folks.”

The “ex-gay” known as Randy Thomas was just too much of a thooperthtar for Exodus International, apparently.  To the delight of basically the entire LGBT blogging community, he who is “not gay anymore” has started his own blog, entitled, appropriately, “Confessions of an Ex-Gay ThooperThtar.” And what will you see when you visit?

Oh, my good sweet lord. What the HELL is that?

It’s just Randy Thomas, sittin’ around his room you guyz, definitely not bein’ gay, but bein’ a THOOPERTHTAR all the same!  Even better, either Randy, one of the voices in his head or one of his various “not-gay” friends [which I imagine, for some reason, all look and smell like American Girl dolls], wrote what I can only assume is intended to be a song to introduce this glorious new venture:

If you made it through the horrifying song, that means you also got to see Randy, who yes, seems like a particularly tweaked out homosexual these days, queen out to and fro over whether Marcus Bachmann is gay or not. We can only assume he has a personal interest in the matter. Lady Birds of a feather, you know…

So far, it’s a pretty boring blog. He gives a “you go, girl!” to Alan “I Still Like Men” Chambers, giving his testimony at some wingnut confab.

In another post he shares one of his personal prayers:

“Dear Jesus, please help me to not see Edgar as an ass and for me to have the grace to not treat him like one either. Amen.”

I’m more of a chest man, but whatever.

Later in the same post, he says this:

But the truth is that being “ex-gay” is such a rare and stigmatized novelty that we as a 36 year old movement (at the time of this writing) are still figuring out what that actually means.

Oh, let me help, then. “Ex-gays” are the result of a really profitable industry that fundamentalist religious people use in order to convince themselves that they actually love gay people, even though they’re simply common bigots. They prey upon people who have experienced personal tragedy or simply made godawful choices and then they convince those people to spend LOTS of money with them, and to scapegoat all their personal shit on their sexuality. Most who go through these programs fail, and miserably. Many end up far more depressed than they were when they went in. Others end up committing suicide. Those who end up thoroughly brainwashed tend to find themselves on the payroll of one of the “ex-gay” businesses, until they get caught f*cking somebody of the same sex. Lather, rinse, repeat indeed.

Of course I don’t think of myself truly as an “ex-gay superstar.”

Nah, I was guessing the title of his new blog was more of a “fake it ’til you make it” sort of thing.

Aside from that there’s not much more in this cesspit of fail besides the fact that Randy went to the gym and worked with a personal trainer — he doesn’t share whether or not he got a boner that day — and that he’s all poopy upset about the mean gay blogs that are making fun of his new blogging venture. Here’s the funny part of that, because in just the last post I wrote, I discussed the bizarre wingnut habit of assuming that, when liberals are simply making fun of them, that we are actually angry.  They do this, as Amanda pointed out, because they are passive-aggressive hypocrites, and because they can’t handle the simple fact that we’re mocking them.  Here’s what the gay-by says:

So, dear gay reader who happens to be angry, if you are riled up and venomous, go ahead and bite. Get it all out. You won’t find anything but empathy and grace here.

Oh shush, you whiny little professional victim. You may be getting angry comments from a few readers — I mean, this is the internet — but the blogs that are making fun of you are not angry in the least.  Moreover, the “empathy” and “grace” you market is a known sham, much like the protective guidance many Catholic priests offer children.  The fact that you lisp around thweetly about your relationship with Jesus and your abandonment of the homoseckshul lifestyle, Randina, and the fact that you have sugary, meaningless things to say about “freedom” or whatever the hell it is you people prattle on about — all of this is irrelevant.

We are not angry.  We’re laughing.  At you, not with you.  Because you are ridiculous.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

LGBT Groups to Host Week of Education, Entertainment, and Protests to Show Harm of ‘Ex-Gay’ Programs in Houston

What: On September 10, the infamous “ex-gay” organization Exodus International will host Love Won Out in Houston, which is a quarterly road show promoting the false and dangerous idea that one can “pray away the gay.” (Sugar Creek Baptist Church)

In response, a coalition of local and national LGBT organizations will host a weeklong series of educational and entertainment events highlighting the harm caused by “ex-gay” programs. The week will conclude with a Saturday protest outside Love Won Out and an MCC church service highlighting the values of love, inclusion, diversity, tolerance, pluralism, and acceptance.

SCHEDULE OF EVENTS (All events open to media)

Opening Night: Overview of ‘Ex-Gay’ Ministries with Wayne Besen

Wednesday, September 7
7:00 – 9:00 pm
Resurrection MCC (2025 West 11th Street, Houston TX)
Presentation followed by a Pastors’ Panel and Q&A Session

Facebook Event Page

Event Info: Truth Wins Out founder Wayne Besen will discuss in an acclaimed multi-media presentation the history of ‘ex-gay’ programs, the techniques used, the key players involved and political context in which these dangerous programs operate. Besen is the architect of the recent undercover operation that revealed that the clinic of Michele Bachmann’s husband, Marcus, practiced “ex-gay” therapy. Besen is the author of Anything But Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth. He has appeared on leading shows including: NBC Nightly News, ABC Nightline, ABC World News Tonight, ABC’s Good Morning America, FOX’s The O’Reilly Factor, MSNBC’s The Rachel Maddow Show, and Comedy Central’s The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

Film Screening: This is What Love in Action Looks Like

Thursday, September 8
7:00 – 9:00 pm
Resurrection MCC (2025 West 11th Street, Houston TX)

Facebook Event Page

Event Info: America was captivated when Zach Stark, a gay teenager, was forced by his parents into the Memphis “ex-gay” ministry Love in Action (LIA) against his will. This is What Love in Action Looks Like is a new film that explores the controversial LIA experience and shows how youth are coerced into “ex-gay” programs. Film director Morgan Jon Fox and interviewee Brandon Tidwell will be on-hand to answer questions about the film and “ex-gay” programs.

One Man Show: Peterson Toscano

Friday, September 9
7:00 – 9:00 pm
Resurrection MCC (2025 West 11th Street, Houston TX)

Facebook Event Page

Event Info: Celebrated comedian and actor Peterson Toscano shares his own story of trying to ‘de-gay’ himself and the process he took to integrate his sexuality with all parts of his life. In this presentation you will witness the Best of Peterson Toscano as he presents excerpts from original plays including The Re-Education of George W. Bush, Queer 101–Now I Know my gAy,B,Cs, and Doin’ Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House. Peterson will also share extracts from his newest play, Transfigurations, which looks at the stories and lives of transgender Bible characters. Peterson is the co-founder of Beyond Ex-Gay and has been featured on the Montel Williams Show, The Tyra Banks Show, FOX’s The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, and the BBC.

Protest of Exodus International’s Love Won Out

Saturday, September 10
11:30AM – 1:00PM
Outside the Sugar Creek Baptist Church (13333 Southwest Freeway, Sugar Land, TX)

Facebook Event Page

Founded in 1972, Resurrection Metropolitan Community Church serves more than 850 members and friends and is one of the largest congregations within Metropolitan Community Churches, a Christian denomination with churches in more than 35 countries. The church is widely known for its positive, affirming ministry to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons, along with their friends, families and allies, and for its strong commitment to social justice as an expression of the congregation’s Christian faith. For additional information on the ministry, services, and programs of Resurrection Metropolitan Community Church, visit www.ResurrectionMCC.org.

Truth Wins Out is a non-profit organization that fights anti-LGBT religious extremism. TWO specializes in turning information into action by organizing, advocating and fighting for LGBT equality.

It is difficult to believe, but Exodus International is still pouting and hung up on losing its iPhone App.

Waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy back in March, Truth Wins Out launched a Change.org petition calling on Apple to dump the hateful “ex-gay” iPhone app. After we collected 160,000 signatures, Apple agreed that the Exodus app must go.

Amazingly, it is now August and the lead story on Exodus’ sluggish website is, “Debunking Myths about Exodus and Their iPhone Application.”

Talk about sore losers! You lost, move on and get over it already.

P.S. I wonder how former Exodus VP Randy Thomas’ exciting new art career is going? I’ve checked with my old buddies on the Orlando art scene and no one has heard of Thomas. So, it appears that he isn’t making much of a splash. Maybe he is photographing gay art-house homoerotica like Mike Ensley?

Have you noticed that for the past couple of years I have not appeared on the same television or radio shows as Exodus International’s Alan Chambers? There is a good reason for this — it is because the sniveling coward has instructed producers that they will lose access to all “ex-gays” if TWO spokespeople are interviewed.

As of today, four trusted media sources have confirmed that the strategy of the flailing “ex-gay” industry is to blacklist Truth Wins Out. We have learned that the despicable conspiracy is spearheaded by Chambers. Clearly, this is because he can’t hold his own in a real debate and wants to handpick his opponents, so he won’t look like the pathological liar and fraud that he truly is.

What terrifies these charlatans is that Truth Wins Out has institutional knowledge and can quickly challenge their blatant misinformation. They simply can’t get away with lies when we are there to debunk their phony claims. Because they cannot defeat our message, they have tried to decapitate the messenger. This speaks to the weakness of their arguments, the low character of activists such as Chambers, and a lack of confidence in fending off credible allegations of consumer fraud.

We urge all producers to act in an ethical and professional manner and not allow Chambers and his underlings to choose whom they debate. That would essentially be allowing Chambers, and other wimps like PFOX’s Greg Quinlan, to stack the deck. By letting this happen, producers are in collusion with the “ex-gay” industry and harming the LGBT movement.

The scurrilous effort at blacklisting TWO will only lead to us redoubling our efforts against these thieves who rip off innocent people and take their hard-earned money to offer “change” that will never come. Our mission has been to counter these fakes. Due to these audacious efforts at undermining our work we have recommitted ourselves to explicitly putting these cowardly SOB’s out of business as quickly as possible.

Mr. Chambers — I promise you that your sleazy, immoral, and underhanded efforts will severely backfire.

It really is the beginning of the end for the phonies at Exodus International and NARTH. It seems reasonable and intelligent Christians are starting to abandon this giant hoax in droves. According to CNN:

While many evangelicals once viewed conversion therapy as key way to deal with homosexuality, many of the religious movement’s leaders and organizations have cooled to the practice in recent years, as more science suggests that homosexuality may be innate and as new therapeutic approaches have emerged. “Evangelicals, in quiet ways, are shifting to this position to where there is just not a lot of support for the change paradigm,” said Warren Throckmorton, an influential voice in the world of Christian counseling, referring to so-called change therapy. “In the late 1990s, the debate was clearly, ‘Could gays change from being gay?’ and the focus was on orientation, and it was a big part of politics,” said Throckmorton, an associate professor of psychology at Grove City College, an evangelical school in Pennsylvania.

Today, we learned that Willow Creek Community Church’s formal relationship with Exodus International has ended. The information was originally obtained by Ex-Gay Watch and reported by Christianity Today. While the decision to part ways dates back to 2009, news that the South Barrington megachurch had cut ties with Exodus, the world’s largest ministry addressing homosexuality, did not surface until late June. The wise decision and move towards honesty and integrity left Exodus President Alan Chambers a little bitter:

Alan Chambers, president of Exodus, disagrees. “The choice to end our partnership is definitely something that shines a light on a disappointing trend within parts of the Christian community,” he said, “which is that there are Christians who believe like one another who aren’t willing to stand with one another, simply because they’re afraid of the backlash people will direct their way if they are seen with somebody who might not be politically correct.” Chambers said he sympathizes with Christian organizations that deal with social, political, and financial backlash, but added, “Biblical truth is unpopular, and when you’re supporting unpopular truth, you are unpopular too; which means, some days, getting upwards of 10,000 phone calls and emails, and it can be overwhelming.”

Ten thousand phone calls and e-mails in one day? Really, Alan? Apparently he is more popular and in-demand than Barack Obama. Who would have guessed? The fact is, people are beginning to see through the charade — which was always a slick marketing campaign disguised as legitimate science. Time has not been a friend of these fraudulent groups, due to scandals, defections and science. Honest people look at Chambers and can obviously see he is still gay. And then we have degenerates and undesirables like former coke dealers Janet Boynes and Stephen Bennett (see video below) who allegedly find Jesus, but are really just lowlife hustlers exploiting Christians by peddling their tales of change to make a quick buck. As Australia’s “ex-gay” buster Anthony Venn-Brown points out, all the “ex-gay” activists share tired stories of distant parents, sexual abuse and transformation from pathetic loser to star preacher. Where are the normal so-called “ex-gays” that don’t have a job with Exodus or lived a normal life prior to their “conversion?” Why are these creepy groups only able to dredge up freaks from the bottom of life’s barrel?

Given the situation, it was only a matter of time before the Christian intelligentsia rebelled and stopped humoring clowns like Alan Chambers, Stephen Bennett, and Janet Boynes. Chambers and others of his ilk should strongly consider to tidying up their resumes so they will be prepared to look for real jobs. Recent trends show that “ex-gay” gig is coming to an end sooner than later. ….Of course, none of these con artists succeeded in the real world, so they will likely take their ridiculous roadshow to places like Uganda where these cowards can terrorize local populations with no one to stop them. Some people will do anything for some coin.

Hong Kong’s government has hired quack psychiatrist Hong Kwai-wah to “re-wire” LGBT people through cold showers and prayer. Hong Kwai-wah is chairman of the New Creation Association, which is directly linked to North American organizations Exodus International and Exodus Global Alliance.

“Scandal-prone ‘ex-gay’ programs have become a joke in the West, so these charlatans are exporting their scientifically-bankrupt theories overseas,” said Truth Wins Out’s Executive Director Wayne Besen. “As they opportunistically look for new global markets to exploit, we will put a cold shower on these fraudulent efforts. There is not a single acre on the map in which these slippery groups can hide from our work to spotlight and expose their quack therapies.”

The link to North American groups is robust and incontrovertible. On its website, the Canadian-based Exodus Global Alliance writes:

Kelvin and Tammy are the directors of New Creation Ministries. They say, “We are thankful for the encouragement from Dr. Melvin Wong, Anita and Frank Worthen, Jenny Li, Dr. Kwai-wah Hong, and Exodus Global Alliance. Thank God! He sees the needs of the gay community in Hong Kong and He prepares the hearts of the workers. We believe God will accomplish the works that He has begun.” May God bring new hope to those who want to become free from sexual addiction and bondage.

According to news reports, the Hong Kong Social Welfare Department issued a statement saying it presents a variety of viewpoints to staff members and that it has had gay rights advocates speak to the department in the past.

“Apparently, promoting harmful therapy rejected by every mainstream medical and mental health association in the world is considered a ‘viewpoint,’” said TWO’s Wayne Besen. “In truth, the Hong Kong Social Welfare Department is disgracefully promoting anti-gay propaganda that that is harmful and ineffective.”

[In so many words.]

I knew this was going to happen.  When Google Chrome launched its amazing “It Gets Better” ad, which first aired during Glee, and I saw that one of the many people telling gay kids that it gets better was Woody from Toy Story, I just knew some wingnut was going to make a stinky on the internet.  And of course the winner is Alan Chambers of Pray Away the Gay Bar and Grill!  Let us see what this character has to say this time, helped as he is by Dave Bozon of New American:

“You’ll be fine, partner.” That’s the advice America’s favorite cartoon cowboy, Woody from the popular movie franchise Toy Story, is giving to young people struggling with homosexual attraction.

For the bajillionth time, you can’t just substitute “struggling with homosexual attraction” for “gay.” I know it feels better in wingnut reality, where being gay is viewed as an affliction, but not in actual reality.

In fact, “It gets better,” choruses a cast of Hollywood and entertainment notables such as Anne Hathaway, Kathy Griffin, Lady Gaga, and Adam Lambert, who appear in a television ad promoting both homosexuality and Google’s Chrome web browser.

Both gayness AND easy tabbed browsing! The ad works too, because here I am sitting, both gay and using Google Chrome.

The ad begins with Savage, sitting next to another presumably homosexual male

His husband.

But Alan Chambers of Exodus International

Is part of the problem that leads to kids getting bullied for who they are, and has inflicted untold pain on men and women across the globe, due to the junk science and lies he sells.

asserted that the well-intentioned TV ad sends the wrong message to youth struggling with same-sex attraction. Chambers told the Christian Post that for the thousands of individuals his organization has reached out to, “it obviously didn’t get better living a gay life,” and only through leaving that lifestyle and embracing faith in God have their lives “become radically better.”

Chambers would rather indoctrinate already vulnerable people into the lie that their sexual orientation can and should be changed, and moreover he and his kind tend to prey upon gay people who have hit rock bottom in other areas, convincing them to scapegoat their sexuality for all their problems. This, of course, leads them to be worse off, as they spend thousands of dollars trying to remove something that is simply part of who they are.

While Chambers indicated that he was not surprised to see a commercial where celebrities and even Fortune 500 companies endorse homosexuality, it came as somewhat of a shock to see a beloved cartoon character co-opted for homosexual activism. “Children all over the world, including my two children, are fans of Toy Story, and to see a character like that endorsing something that at this point children have no need to know about, it’s disappointing,” he told the Christian Post.

Children all over the world, including Alan’s two children, have no need to know about reality, especially if they happen to be gay kids, he seems to be saying. God forbid a message of hope and support rise above the din of shame and hate that Alan teaches.

“I think that we have to promote the stories of people who have found an alternative to homosexuality,” he told the Post, along with doing “a better job at addressing issues related to bullying and violence and how kids have been treated at public schools.”

Yeah, Alan, you do tell those stories though.  And then we tell the rest of the story, after they come back out of the closet, because they’re still gay.

Ex-Gay Watch first discovered an interesting tidbit on the Exodus International blog. The organization’s President, Alan Chambers, wrote a rosy piece announcing that he had eliminated Randy Thomas’ position as Vice President.

Thomas will now assume his reduced role as part-time  blogger — which is being euphemistically called “Director of Digital Media and Development.” Whaterver.

According to Chambers:

This new role will also enable Randy to continue to support our ministry, which I know means a great deal to him, while allowing him ample time to pursue his calling and passion in the arts and pastoral care…. I am excited about this new season for Randy and would encourage you to pray for him as he trusts the Lord and steps out in faith to pursue God’s will.

How gutsy of Thomas to try his hand at “the arts” during a time of high unemployment. Does Thomas’ “artistic” side include photographing homoerotic smut? If so, former Exodus staffer Mike Ensley could help him get back on his feet.

It will be interesting to see if Thomas’ old position is filled in the near future. If not, his downsizing may actually signal that Exodus is going through a season of tough economic times.

It’s useful to point out the similarities between the fundamentalist Christian worldview and that of religion-fueled Third World societies around the world.  I’ve suggested in the past that many right wing Christian leaders really ought to convert to Islam and move to Iran, seeing as the societal mores are more in line with their way of thinking.  They won’t miss the “Jesus” part of their current religion, because they really pay no attention to the “Jesus” part in the first place, aside from the fact that they’re glad he’s sending them to heaven and everybody they don’t like, to hell.

Or maybe they would like Malaysia:

Malaysian authorities have admitted sending 66 teenage boys thought to be gay to a camp to learn “masculine behaviour”.

An official from Terengganu state said the boys, aged between 13 and 17, were identified by teachers as having effeminate mannerisms.

This week, they are being sent on a four-day “self-development course” in the hope of dissuading them from being gay or transgender.

State education director Razali Daud told The Associated Press that the camp was designed “to guide them back to the right path in life before they reach a point of no return. Such effeminate behavior is unnatural and will affect their studies and their future.”

The article states that the kids weren’t compelled to go to Muslim Pray Away The Gay Camp, but were invited, which is pretty much in line with Alan Chambers’ philosophy of only destroying those who are willing to destroy themselves.