I don’t know anything about the frequency of occurance of monogamy and non-monogamy among gay couples. But I do know someone beating an agenda when I see it. And that’s what is going on here.
And it isn’t admirable. It isn’t an honest contribution when conservative loons like Paul Cameron cook the data to get the conclusions they want. And it isn’t an honest contribution when liberals do the same thing.
Huff, Lowen and Spears want to believe that gay men are non-monogamous. It fits their preconceptions. But they didn’t study that.
TWO Executive Director Wayne Besen to Appear at Just Love Counter-Conference on Saturday, March 6
Truth Wins Out’ Executive Director, Wayne Besen, will join nationally recognized gay and lesbian advocates to oppose Exodus International’ “ex-gay” road show, Love Won Out, which travels to La Mesa’ Skyline Church on Saturday. On the same day as the Exodus event, a counter-conference will be held, Just Love, which will expose the ex-gay industry and educate people about the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people.
“Sexual orientation is not a choice, but thanks to conferences like Love Won Out, some people do choose to embrace prejudice and discrimination,” said Wayne Besen, Executive Director of Truth Wins Out and author of Anything But Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth. “You cannot pray away the gay and the sooner people learn to accept themselves, the better off they are.”
On September 19, 2000, Besen photographed the ex-gay founder of Love Won Out, John Paulk, in a gay bar in Washington, DC. He also has shadowed Love Won Out, organizing or participating in protests or counter-conferences wherever Love Won Out’ road show appears. The last one was in Birmingham, Alabama in November 2009.
Just Love will take-place at St. Paul’ Episcopal Cathedral (2728 6th Ave)from 9:00 AM to 5:00 PM. Sessions will be conducted by experts including the former co-founder of Exodus International, Michael Bussee, who is now an outspoken critic of the group he helped start. Other notable speakers include, ex-gay survivor Daniel Gonzales, Jim Burroway, Editor of Box Turtle Bulletin and Amity Buxton, founder of the Straight Spouse Network (SSN), which supports straight spouses whose partners came out as gay. There will also be a session for leaders of the faith community led by Louise Brooks of California Faith for Equality and the Human Rights Campaign.
“We refuse to be defined by misinformation, junk science and religious bigotry,” said TWO’ Besen. “Just Love will set the record straight on the ex-gay industry and provide factual information on our lives. We will dispel stereotypes, shine a bright light on the lies and send the message that gay people are fine just the way they are.”
In a piece protesting the fact that the U.S. Tax Court ruled that a transgender woman may deduct the cost of her sexual reassignment surgery from her taxes, the SPLC-certified hate group Traditional Values Coalition made this unhinged remark:
A person can no more change his sex than he can change his species. A person can’t become a potato or a giraffe. Yet, the gay, lesbian, transgender movement claims that a person can become the opposite sex. This is madness.
First of all, it’s actually the medical community that, in some cases, recommends sexual reassignment surgery for transgender individuals. Many if not most transgender people actually do not have that surgery, but in some cases, on an individual basis, it’s deemed the most appropriate course of action. Last time I checked, the medical community is not a wholly-owned subsidiary of “the gay, lesbian, transgender movement.”
But look, here’s the thing: People can and do turn into potatoes and giraffes. All. The. Time. In fact, the National Association for the Research and Treatment of Humanity (NARTH) clearly states that thousands, if not millions of people every day leave the human lifestyle and live complete, full lives as potatoes, and also as giraffes. Anyone who would tell you differently is simply bigoted against people who sincerely want to change.
Anyway, so my point in posting this is that our friends at Box Turtle Bulletin got their name when the text of a speech by Sen. John Cornyn famously and stupidly compared marriage equality to one’s neighbor marrying a poor, lowly box turtle. He didn’t actually say those words when he delivered the speech, but the meme was out there, and their blog was born.
So, my question is: Who’s going to step up and create the Potato Giraffe Chronicle for transgender people?
While 2009 will be remembered for the worldwide economic recession, for the ex-gay industry, it will be known as The Great Moral Depression. It was a dreadful year for such programs, as they showed themselves to be a global menace run by reprobates, such as Exodus’ Randy Thomas and Alan Chambers, who combined a dangerous dose of arrogance and incompetence. Much like the Roman Catholic Church, these men ignored a credible allegation of abuse for more than six months and engaged in a dangerous game of denial.
Whatever shard of credibility this industry had was stripped away in 2009. It was a year where such programs were harshly rebuked by the mental health establishment. An important new study showed that their retrograde methods of shame and blame harmed LGBT people. The old, outdated research that they stubbornly latched onto for dear life seemed to betray them and then vanish into thin air.
Several “ex-gay” heroes turned out to be zeros and slithered away into the mist. The past 12 months, if anything, unmasked the facade of “love” this industry cynically showers on potential clients and an often gullible media. In 2009, the world saw ex-gay programs for what they are: A sugar coated excuse for homophobia.
Exodus was revealed as a front for international hate groups, who used the group’s credulous leaders as pawns in an international struggle for theocracy. PFOX stepped forward and showed, time and again, that it was just plain nuts.
NARTH put out an embarrassingly shoddy “study” that was so pathetic it was virtually ignored by the media. By the end of 2009, NARTH had solidified its place as a cabal of embittered and irrelevant quacks on the far outer fringes of psychology. Homosexuals Anonymous was, well, anonymous. The Catholic ex-gay group Courage also had a meager profile and had little impact on popular culture. And, JONAH, the Jewish ex-gay group, continued to humiliate itself through its affiliation with crackpot Born Again sexual reorientation coach Richard Cohen.
May 2010 bring the same abundance of truth and light regarding the ex-gay fraud we had in 2009. Here are the Top 10 ex-gay related stories of the year. Please feel free to comment on any major items I may have missed.
10) The Passing of The Old Guard
Focus on the Family co-founder James Dobson announced that he was stepping down. He was an arch-homophobe who once claimed allowing gay people to marry would end the earth. Under Dobson’s leadership, this mega-ministry started the ex-gay roadshow Love Won Out. Dobson’s retirement represents the winding down of the old guard. This includes the passing of other ex-gay proponents or anti-gay preachers such as Rev. Jerry Falwell, D. James Kennedy and Oral Roberts. A new generation of Evangelicals will hopefully join the reality-based community and break with the past. However, there is reason to be skeptical, considering the leader of the pack is Rick Warren, who isn’t too much better than his predecessors.
9) The Fizzling Out of Michael Glatze and Stephen Bennett
Michael Glatze (left) was formerly co-editor of XY Magazine and YGA Magazine, publications directed at LGBT youth. He and his partner of ten years, Benjie Nycum, also co-authored the book XY Survival Guide.
Glatze’s ventures went belly-up and he seemed to disappear from LGBT activism. He reemerged in July 2007 with a disgusting op-ed on the extremist website WorldNetDaily, where he announced he was “ex-gay” (although he had no experience with women)
Glatze alleged sexual conversion seems, in part, to have come from a sort-of nervous breakdown. He reported that he suffered from frequent panic attacks and that he obsessed about death.
In late September, Glatze contacted me, hoping that I would interview him and reinvigorate his flagging career as an “ex-gay”. I refused to oblige his publicity stunt, and so did LGBT advocates at other sites.
Glatze’s downfall came when he opened an incoherent vanity blog and wrote:
“Have I mentioned lately how utterly *disgusting* Obama is? And, yes, it’ because he’ black. God, help us all….It’ a shame Obama is black. He could end up setting back race relations decades.”
Condemned for his idiotic comment about President Obama, Glatze sent out a rambling e-mail announcing his career as an ex-gay spokesperson had fizzled and he was retiring. Chalk Glatze up to a pitiful flash in the pan.
Similarly, 2009 was the year that big haired ex-gay activist Stephen Bennett (left) completely vanished from the scene. And, Anthony Falzarano’s (founder of PFOX) attempted return to the spotlight also petered out.
8) The Lisa Miller Kidnapping and Abduction Case
Lisa Miller broke up with partner Janet Jenkins (Right) after becoming a born again “ex-gay”. In a fit of holier-than-thou zeal, Miller went on the lam and absconded from Vermont with their child, Isabella, that the couple was raising together after having a Civil Union.
As a result of Miller’ poor parenting and criminal behavior (she was cited for contempt of court), a Vermont court transferred custody to Jenkins (after a five year legal ordeal that will surely leave emotional scars on their child Isabella) and refused a motion to delay transfer, as requested by Miller’ law team.
People for the American Way’ Right Wing Watch reports that the location of Miller and 7-year-old Isabella Miller are presently “unknown”. This is highly problematic because the court order takes effect on New Year’ Day.
Janet Jenkins filed a missing person report in Virginia on Wednesday in hopes of finding her 7-year-old daughter, according to her lawyer. Unfortunately, Miller’s outlaw behavior has been cheered on by ex-gay activists who want to pretend they are martyrs, rather than criminal miscreants.
7) The Caitlin Ryan Study
The January 2009 issue of Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics reported on a new study by San Francisco State researcher Caitlin Ryan. Her research concluded that, “Teens who experienced negative feedback (when they came out as LGBT) were more than eight times as likely to have attempted suicide, nearly six times as vulnerable to severe depression and more than three times at risk of drug use.”
This definitive study was hugely important because it contradicted the claim by “ex-gay” activists that homosexuality was the root cause of such problems. Indeed, it was ex-gay programs – the epitome of negative feedback – that led to the destruction of LGBT people.
Exodus International officially cut ties with its Lansing affiliate Corduroy Stone after charges were made by an ex-gay survivor that the sessions included harmful and bizarre therapy.
In August, Patrick McAlvey made the charges against Corduroy Stone’s Mike Jones in a Truth Wins Out video. At the age of 19, McAlvey, who came from a religious background, was terrified that he might be gay. Feeling vulnerable and desperate to change, he placed his trust in Mike Jones and Corduroy Stone.
“He asked how large my penis was,” McAlvey explained of Jones’ therapy. “He asked if I shave my pubic hair. He asked what type of underwear that I wore.
He wanted me to describe my sexual fantasies to him and the type of men I’m attracted to. On one occasion, he asked me to take my shirt off and show him how many push-ups I could do, which I did not do.”
Tragically, it took Exodus until December to take action and cut ties with this renegade ministry. Exodus’ dithering in the face of scandal cost precious time and may have placed additional youth in harm’ way. This was a key episode in 2009 because it underscored how Exodus has little control over its satellite ministries and each one is an independent fiefdom with its own rules and techniques. Exodus is no more than a Wild West and an unprofessional hodgepodge of fundamentalist pop-psychology combined with spiritual warfare and efforts to pray away the gay.
5) Ex-Gay Charlatan Matthew C. Manning Unmasked As A Fraud
A report by the website, “Ex-Gay Watch” cast a dark cloud of skepticism over “ex-gay” activist Matthew Manning’ tale of being “delivered” from homosexuality and AIDS. According to the report, Manning has been repeatedly dragged into court for allegations of inappropriate behavior and was even banned from a popular gym after improper sexual advances were made on a 22-year-old heterosexual male. Manning, a frequent television guest and the founder of Lighthouse World Evangelism Inc., based in Santa Rosa, California, has yet to comment on the allegations made in the investigative report.
A month ago, David Benkof presented me with an opinion piece he wrote slamming the “ex-gay” organization Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality (JONAH). It appeared to be useful information, but I refused to employ it in my efforts. Why?
Because, in my view, Benkof lacks character and cannot be trusted. Once upon a time, he was the openly bisexual founder of Q-syndicate, which provides the GLBT press with content. Then, he quit his job, became a born again Jew, changed his last name from Bianco to Benkof and claims to have given up sex with men. He went on to stab the GLBT community in the back and cozied up to the anti-gay industry.
Granted, I never liked this man. I met him at a National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association meeting in Chicago several years ago. I found him to be crass and lack class. He was an overbearing, insufferable, ill-mannered braggart with an ego the size of the Sears Tower. With a distaste for his personality, I simply smiled and walked away.
After Benkof became a “New Jew,” he moved to Las Vegas. I was to pass through on my “Anything But Straight” book tour. Through a respected intermediary, he tried to set up a lunch meeting and I refused. I did not like him when he was “out,” so I certainly had no use for him when he was “In.” (For the record, I’ve even dined with ex-gay leaders Randy Thomas and Alan Chambers, who are much better company than Benkof)
The last thing I was going to do was waste part of a day in Vegas with Bianco/Benkof. No thanks, get me to the pool and to the slot machines. Besides, the fake models of the Eiffel Tower and New York’s skyline were enough artifice in Las Vegas, without bringing Benkof into the picture.
This year, Benkof has slithered back into the public eye, emerging as an anti-gay activist who poses as a pro-gay advocate. He has fancied himself a regular columnist with the GLBT press, even though this is not true. He has also been accused by more than one respected advocate of misrepresentation in interviews for his column.
Most important, this spotlight-seeking charlatan has been dishonest about his motives. For these reasons, I elected not to use his information about the ex-gay industry. I try to only quote sources that are known to be honest and have integrity. Mr. Benkof does not fit the bill. One just has to feel sorry for this poor, troubled soul who craves attention at all costs.
Today, Box Turtle Bulletin’s Timothy Kincaid wrote an excellent article exposing this fraud. I urge everyone to read it so they know the true David Benkof. Here is an excerpt:
Benkof is not swayed by logic. As Benkof argued in a chatroom debate over same-sex parenting:
However, my stance wouldn’t change even if 100 studies showed no differences in children of every family structure ‚Äî because my beliefs are informed by a traditional Jewish worldview and its attitudes toward families and childrearing. But I want to ask you ‚Äî would your stance change if 100 studies showed harmful effects in children raised without both a mother and a father?
You see, all of Benkof’ arguments have nothing to do with what he’ claiming in his writing. Benkof doesn’t care whether it could be proven by undeniable evidence that equality, marriage, children’s issues, the military, discrimination, and every other issue was without question on our side.
He’ not really debating policy, he’ pushing his religion.
And if Benkof were honest about his efforts, I would be fine. I have respect for those who live according to their religious constraints. And I don’t seek to diminish those who present their faith for others to consider.
But that isn’t what David is doing. He’ not presenting his articles of faith for consideration for cultural adoption. He’ seeking to advance the rules of his faith by making secular argument, and not being honest about it. Because pushing religion is viewed suspiciously, David Benkof has chosen to adopt artificial arguments. And an artificial identity. And artificial supporters.
TWO Executive Director Wayne Besen to Appear at Just Love Counter-Conference on Saturday, March 6 
