It’s called “Gay Homophobe,” and it keeps track of how many days it’s been since “the last prominent homophobe was caught in a gay sex scandal.” Set your bookmarks accordingly!

In case you didn’t click, right now the answer is NINE. It has been NINE DAYS since a prominent homophobe was caught doing the gay stuff.

[h/t Dan]

Another day, another anti-gay Republican caught being kind of gay:

Senator Robert Arango, who was the Vice Chairman of George W.Bush and Dick Cheney’s Puerto Rico re-election committee in 2004, has been supposedly identified by the Puerto Rican TV show Dando Candela for placing naked pictures of himself on the popular gay social network application Grindr.

When asked about the pictures, Arango reportedly did not deny or confirm that it was him. The Latin news site Gunabee reports that the senator told the Dando Candela show, “You know I’ve been losing weight. As I shed that weight, I’ve been taking pictures. I don’t remember taking this particular picture but I’m not gonna say I didn’t take it. I’d tell you if I remembered taking the picture but I don’t.”

Arango’s alleged photos and possible posting on a same sex site may come as a surprise since the senator has been a vocal enemy against gay marriage and rights in San Juan. The site “JoemyGod” reported that he voted to ban gay marriage in 2009 (the bill failed), opposes civil unions, and used a duck to make fun of a campaign opponent in 2004 (labeling someone a duck is a homophobic slur used in Puerto Rico).

Hahah, “I can’t tell you if that’s me or not, I don’t know what I look like really?!” Yes, sir, and do you use Grindr? But no, the fact that Arango has been using Grindr is not a “surprise” to anyone who understands the insane correlation between public anti-gay views and secret gayness. It’s kind of a thing with our opponents.

[h/t JM Ashby @ Bob Cesca's joint]

UPDATE:  Okay, so yeah, I kinda missed how truly awesome this story was as I was skimming and posting it earlier.  Arango, as we see above, claimed that he was documenting his weight loss in his Grindr pictures, which really doesn’t explain the picture of his anus.  This has led one of Dan Savage’s commenters to term posting pictures of one’s own butthole on a dating site a “Puerto Rican Diet Plan.”  Congratulations, former Senator Arango, on your trim, toned anus.

Uh-oh!  So this happened a couple of months ago:

Yesterday, Teabagger Republican Representative Kristen Hansen introduced HB516, which would repeal all statewide or local ordinances which protect LGBT citizens in any way, shape or form. At the hearing for the bill, legislators refused to allow anyone opposed to the bill to be heard.

And now this is happening:

Yesterday, Teabagger Republican Representative Kristen Hansen introduced HB516, which would repeal all statewide or local ordinances which protect LGBT citizens in any way, shape or form. At the hearing for the bill, legislators refused to allow anyone opposed to the bill to be heard.

[...]

According to my source, Hansen will be outed at an upcoming meeting of University of Montana students.

We’ll have to see how this all unravels, but it must take an astonishing level of self-hatred to be such a hypocrite.

Haha, I agree with Dan here.  This is hilarious:

In what is perhaps a watershed moment in the long fight for gay rights, the current battle over the Defense of Marriage Act is being waged with at least tacit acknowledgment from all sides that it is a political winner for pro-gay-rights Democrats.

In the wake of President Obama’s decision to drop support for portions of the Defense of Marriage Act, gay rights advocates have been unabashed in claiming that beyond the merits of their underlying argument they now have the political advantage as well. Not only does public opinion polling suggest they’re right, but the reaction of gay rights opponents does, too.

On Wednesday, House and Senate Democrats held separate press conferences announcing the introduction of legislation to repeal DOMA. Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA), one of the sponsors of the House bill, was asked whether Democrats were politicizing gay rights as a wedge issue against the GOP, as Majority Leader Eric Cantor alleged last month.

“What do I say to the idea that this is a wedge issue? I say ‘Hallelujah,’” Frank told reporters. “The fact that we’ve now evolved to the point where the Republicans are complaining about the fact that we introduced this bill because it causes them political problems is a great sign of progress. It used to be the other way around.”

The tipping point has been reached, as Wayne and I have said again and again.  Bigots like Maggie Gallagher and Tony Perkins can cling to their statistic that “every time the people have voted, they have voted for [exclusionary] marriage!”, but they know, and we can tell by their actions that they know, that that cute little line isn’t going to be true much longer.  People shouldn’t be voting on civil rights issues anyway, but every day, in more corners of American society, it becomes more and more repugnant to appear bigoted against gay people.

In related news, over at Down With Tyranny is an interesting observation about the ninety-five biggest homophobes in the House who are co-sponsoring Vicky Hartzler’s (Deranged Bigot-MO) resolution demanding that the Obama administration defend DOMA in court. Referring to Joe Sudbay’s piece at AmBlogGay, DWT notes:

Joe Sudbay, the writer, explains that they all have LGBT constituents, of course, but he doesn’t point out that at least two of them are notorious closet cases themselves, Trent Franks (R-AZ) and Patrick McHenry (R-NC). That’s not to say that none of the others are; it’s just that Franks and McHenry have been blatant and publicly exposed. I don’t know what hotties Howard Coble (R-NC), Michael Grimm (R-NY), and Adam Kinzinger (R-IL) do behind closed doors. On the other hand, several notorious GOP closet cases have not signed on as cosponsors, including Aaron Schock (IL) and David Dreier (R-CA).

Ha.  Maybe their consciences won’t let them.  Who knows?

It’s Chris Barron of GOProud arguing with Tony Perkins, leader of the hate group with the cute name “Family Research Council,” talking to Andrea Mitchell.

[h/t Towleroad]

They are both so butch, it’s adorable.

What’s funny is that Tony has his 2Xists all in a bundle over GOProud wanting to “redefine marriage,” when the truth of the matter is that GOProud doesn’t even really support marriage equality, preferring to leave it up to the useless dinosaur known as Federalism. Barron admits as much in the interview, saying that marriage should be defined by the states and left up to the people, a position that does not respect the inherent dignity or Constitutional rights of gay people.

In this weak man’s world, every gay man is out there trying to touch his wing-wang.

And obviously, we have to work for the TSA in order to do that.

Sometimes you just have to giggle.

[h/t Paddy]

Y’all.  I just can’t…there are just some times when I read stories and I want to laugh and be snarky and have fun with them, but sometimes, the jokes are already written, and I can’t possibly add anything.  Here, let Bishop Eddie Long explain to you about God’s sperm, from a long ago sermon:

Bishop Eddie Long, his face glistening with sweat, paces onstage before his cheering congregation.

He’s preaching about the Bible, the role of a preacher, and “fresh sperm.”

“The word of God is potent. The word of God is His sperm,” Long thunders. “The job of the preacher is to bring fresh sperm and when he speaks it, the womb — the church — is to take it in and say, ‘Sho’ you’re right.’ ”

The video of that sermon, delivered during the early days of Long’s ministry in the 1990s, has gone viral. And now it is being discussed in the context of four lawsuits that claim the 57-year-old Long used his spiritual authority to coerce four young men into sexual relationships with him.

Thank goodness it’s fresh sperm. I can’t imagine that God would…

Seriously, I can’t do this.

“The job of the preacher is to bring fresh sperm.”  It’s quite simple, really.  Covered in every credible divinity school and seminary.  Maybe you thought it was just a Catholic thing.  You were wrong.

In the same piece, CNN talks about one of Long’s books, from 1998, where he explains homosexuality:

“Two people of the same sex cannot reproduce in the physical natural realm, which is an outward manifestation of their inability to produce the fruit of righteousness in the spirit realm.”

In the same book, Long wrote that the devil convinces homosexuals that they have no control over their sexual orientation.

“Neither does God make a person to be a homosexual. Look at yourself naked in a mirror and see what God gave you. That’s who you are in God’s creation. Your parents … or someone else may have influenced you to engage in sexual behavior that was not godly, but God did not ordain that behavior for you.”

Please, look in the mirror at your body, like Eddie Long was doing in the picture at right.  Also, if you’re a dude, you probably should send Bishop Eddie a picture, just so he knows you’re following his orders.

Long’s explanation for why some men are gay, though, may appear puzzling.

He put some of the blame on women, in “I Don’t Want Delilah, I Need You!”

“In a society, where little boys are exposed to grubby, cursing, dirty, cigarette-smoking road construction worker women, is it any wonder they stop chasing women and start chasing men?”

Because dudes are just too damn pretty, aren’t they, Eddie?

I’m trying to report only fun/funny/happy news today, because it’s Friday. I think this counts.

Nice:

Funny. I don’t complain about the boring drivel that passes for corporate-whore music these days. I just say nice things about the talented artists.

But anyway, 50 Cent has always been fixated on gay men, and you and I know what that usually means, Mary.

One of the four men who’ve accused a Georgia mega-church pastor of coercing them into sex called the man at the center of the controversy a “predator” and a “monster.”Jamal Parris, 23, told WAGA-TV in Atlanta that Bishop Eddie Long, leader of the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church, swept into his life and used him for sex and moved on to younger prey.

“I cannot get the sound of his voice out of my head, and I cannot forget the smell of his cologne, and I cannot forget the way he made me cry when I drove in his car on the way home, not able to take enough showers to get the smell of that man off my body,” Parris said in the Tuesday broadcast.

When Parris was 17, he said, Long would take him “alone to the guesthouse” and “encourage him to call him daddy,” according to his lawsuit.

Watch ABC News Video

(Weekly Column)

Virulently homophobic mega-church pastor, Bishop Eddie Long, stands accused of coercing four young men at his church to have sex with him, while lavishing these victims with money, vacations and cars. An adherent of the “prosperity gospel”, we now know that Long was sincere when he preached that all one had to do to gain material blessings was get on bended hand and knee and summit to His will.

In fairness to Long, this case still has to be tried in a court of law and it remains possible that he is innocent of the lurid charges. Every day, good people are accused of crimes they did not commit. Opportunists try to take advantage of rich and powerful people for financial gain or for notoriety in the age of reality television.

So, it would be premature to say that Long is a hypocritical scoundrel who abused his pastoral authority to gain access to sex and used anti-gay rhetoric to obscure his own homosexuality.

However, Long’s rambling Sunday sermon addressing the salacious allegations did not help his cause. It appeared that he penned the precise speech one would write if he were guilty and trying to parse words to keep power, while avoiding legal trouble.

Prior to the speech, Long was already appearing quite gay. Sexy photos of the allegedly conservative pastor were released where he stood in front of a mirror posing and preening in what appears to be tight spandex clothing. The overly muscle-bound preacher looked like a cartoonish hybrid of Barry Bonds and Richard Simmons.

Anyone who took a cursory glance at these photos had to wonder if Long’s muscles were as phony as his heterosexuality. Is there anything real about this flashy preacher who presides over 25,000-strong New Birth Missionary Baptist Church in suburban Georgia, and is courted by America’s leading politicians?

Indeed, both his physique and family life appear to be pumped full of steroids. His bulging biceps are matched by his surreally inflated portrayal of himself as an alpha male, writing an egotistical, laughably subtitled book, “What a Woman Needs to Know, What a Man Needs to Understand.”

If Long is found guilty it should surprise no one, and his flock, in my view, deserves to be fooled and fleeced. Time and again, these now “stunned” parishioners ignored the pertinent facts of Long’s sketchy life to buy into the fabulous fiction he peddled each Sunday.

Indeed, The New York Times reports that Long, “worked as a sales representative for the Ford Motor Company, but was fired over inaccuracies in his expense accounts. He moved to Atlanta to study theology.”

One would think that Long’s incongruous move from alleged criminal to high-flying clergy would have raised red flags. If his suspicious past were not enough, his present incarnation as Bishop Bling – with a Bentley, bodyguards, Gucci sunglasses, gold necklaces, diamond bracelets and Rolex watches, should have made his flock run the other way.

But, they stayed and had no problem with his lavish lifestyle that includes a 5,000-square-foot house. (Perhaps, a place with large walk-in closets and plenty of space to bury the skeletons was essential to maintaining what increasingly appears to be a façade.)

Not only did they accept the Bishop, they wanted in on his success. So, in terms of guilt, Long’s shallow church membership is at least as guilty as he is. The preacher’s entire theology, after all, is to remake the skinny, poor, Jesus Christ into a muscle-bound mogul, much like himself. And the greedy, self-serving, fake Christians at Long’s church ate up this false portrayal of Jesus Christ as the Lord of Luxury because it jibed with their solipsistic lifestyle.

Back to the self-serving speech – it was obvious that the goal of Bishop Bling was to create a smokescreen to obscure the alleged gay fling. His tactic was to cast himself as a victim of a cruel world that was out to get him. Predictably, the exceedingly powerful Long ended his speech by saying, “I feel like David against Goliath, but I’ve got five rocks and I haven’t thrown one yet.”

No doubt, if his accusers can be believed, Long will have no problem getting his rocks off.

Long also tried to portray himself as an innocent bystander overtaken by external events that he likened to natural disasters, such as Hurricane Katrina. No, if Long is guilty, he is entirely responsible for this man-made calamity.

In a mid-1990’s sermon revealed on The Michelangelo Signorile Show, Long advocated the death penalty for gay people. A 2007 Southern Poverty Law Center report described Long as, “One of the most virulently homophobic black leaders in the religiously based anti-gay movement.”

Is it not obvious that the gayest thing one can do is be an anti-gay zealot? On the bright side, if Eddie Long comes out of the closet, at least his body is circuit party-ready!