Um, so I missed this yesterday, and I’m mostly inclined to let it pass, but here’s Victoria Jackson, who is apparently on the radio now, interviewing an “ex-gay” couple named Edward and Jessica. Apparently they met at an Exodus convention and they prayed the gay away together and I’m quite sure they have lots of sex, together.

You see, Edward became gay because his dad is a mean Cuban and Edward likes the performing arts. Jessica became a lesbian because her parents got divorced. Indeed, every time I go to a gay bar, the first question I ask is “Are you a Cuban or are your parents divorced?” It’s always one of those things.

If you listen long enough, you’ll get to hear Victoria recite a bible verse and then explain why she pictures herself in a harness with Jesus after she hears that verse.

Oh, and I really like the part where Edward says he is still “tempted by same sex attraction” [translation: "is into dudes"], but that he’s MORE tempted by chocolate cake. How very Blanche Devereaux. Anyway, enjoy!

[h/t Towleroad]

The “ex-gay” known as Randy Thomas was just too much of a thooperthtar for Exodus International, apparently.  To the delight of basically the entire LGBT blogging community, he who is “not gay anymore” has started his own blog, entitled, appropriately, “Confessions of an Ex-Gay ThooperThtar.” And what will you see when you visit?

Oh, my good sweet lord. What the HELL is that?

It’s just Randy Thomas, sittin’ around his room you guyz, definitely not bein’ gay, but bein’ a THOOPERTHTAR all the same!  Even better, either Randy, one of the voices in his head or one of his various “not-gay” friends [which I imagine, for some reason, all look and smell like American Girl dolls], wrote what I can only assume is intended to be a song to introduce this glorious new venture:

If you made it through the horrifying song, that means you also got to see Randy, who yes, seems like a particularly tweaked out homosexual these days, queen out to and fro over whether Marcus Bachmann is gay or not. We can only assume he has a personal interest in the matter. Lady Birds of a feather, you know…

So far, it’s a pretty boring blog. He gives a “you go, girl!” to Alan “I Still Like Men” Chambers, giving his testimony at some wingnut confab.

In another post he shares one of his personal prayers:

“Dear Jesus, please help me to not see Edgar as an ass and for me to have the grace to not treat him like one either. Amen.”

I’m more of a chest man, but whatever.

Later in the same post, he says this:

But the truth is that being “ex-gay” is such a rare and stigmatized novelty that we as a 36 year old movement (at the time of this writing) are still figuring out what that actually means.

Oh, let me help, then. “Ex-gays” are the result of a really profitable industry that fundamentalist religious people use in order to convince themselves that they actually love gay people, even though they’re simply common bigots. They prey upon people who have experienced personal tragedy or simply made godawful choices and then they convince those people to spend LOTS of money with them, and to scapegoat all their personal shit on their sexuality. Most who go through these programs fail, and miserably. Many end up far more depressed than they were when they went in. Others end up committing suicide. Those who end up thoroughly brainwashed tend to find themselves on the payroll of one of the “ex-gay” businesses, until they get caught f*cking somebody of the same sex. Lather, rinse, repeat indeed.

Of course I don’t think of myself truly as an “ex-gay superstar.”

Nah, I was guessing the title of his new blog was more of a “fake it ’til you make it” sort of thing.

Aside from that there’s not much more in this cesspit of fail besides the fact that Randy went to the gym and worked with a personal trainer — he doesn’t share whether or not he got a boner that day — and that he’s all poopy upset about the mean gay blogs that are making fun of his new blogging venture. Here’s the funny part of that, because in just the last post I wrote, I discussed the bizarre wingnut habit of assuming that, when liberals are simply making fun of them, that we are actually angry.  They do this, as Amanda pointed out, because they are passive-aggressive hypocrites, and because they can’t handle the simple fact that we’re mocking them.  Here’s what the gay-by says:

So, dear gay reader who happens to be angry, if you are riled up and venomous, go ahead and bite. Get it all out. You won’t find anything but empathy and grace here.

Oh shush, you whiny little professional victim. You may be getting angry comments from a few readers — I mean, this is the internet — but the blogs that are making fun of you are not angry in the least.  Moreover, the “empathy” and “grace” you market is a known sham, much like the protective guidance many Catholic priests offer children.  The fact that you lisp around thweetly about your relationship with Jesus and your abandonment of the homoseckshul lifestyle, Randina, and the fact that you have sugary, meaningless things to say about “freedom” or whatever the hell it is you people prattle on about — all of this is irrelevant.

We are not angry.  We’re laughing.  At you, not with you.  Because you are ridiculous.

When Willow Creek Community Church’s quiet decision to break ties with ex-gay organization Exodus International surfaced recently, the church earned itself the ire of Illinois hate group Americans for Truth About Homosexuality [the one that famously lost its tax-exempt status in 2010]. AFTAH is calling the decision of its fellow Christians at Willow Creek “unbiblical.” In the organization’s blog, Americans for Truth, the group called for a vigil outside the church on August 11-12 to protest the “puzzling disassociation,” with leader Peter LaBarbera calling it a “stunning capitulation to the gay lobby.” [They disapprove, too, of Willow Creek's having brought in other "heretical teachers," like Tony Blair.]

Willow Creek isn’t the only big church to have broken ties with Exodus recently, as Ex-Gay Watch has reported. And in another humiliation for Exodus, the government of New Zealand declined to allow Exodus tax-exempt status last year; a commission there said “the trust was not performing any public benefit because homosexuality was not a mental disorder and did not need curing.” Inspired, the New Democratic Party in Canada, according the blog Slap Upside the Head, introduced a resolution at its convention in June to deny tax-exempt status to ex-gay organizations, too.

Don’t make the mistake of assuming that its distancing itself from Exodus means Willow Creek is beginning to accept homosexuality. It isn’t. When Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz made news after he changed his mind and decided not to address the church, its pastor, Reverend Bill Hybels, made haste to clarify Willow Church’s views. The church “challenges” people “to live out the sexual ethics taught in scriptures”: marry the opposite sex, or else “maintain sexual abstinence and purity.” Sounds familiar. What’s Peter LaBarbera so upset about?

It is difficult to believe, but Exodus International is still pouting and hung up on losing its iPhone App.

Waaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy back in March, Truth Wins Out launched a Change.org petition calling on Apple to dump the hateful “ex-gay” iPhone app. After we collected 160,000 signatures, Apple agreed that the Exodus app must go.

Amazingly, it is now August and the lead story on Exodus’ sluggish website is, “Debunking Myths about Exodus and Their iPhone Application.”

Talk about sore losers! You lost, move on and get over it already.

P.S. I wonder how former Exodus VP Randy Thomas’ exciting new art career is going? I’ve checked with my old buddies on the Orlando art scene and no one has heard of Thomas. So, it appears that he isn’t making much of a splash. Maybe he is photographing gay art-house homoerotica like Mike Ensley?

[In so many words.]

I knew this was going to happen.  When Google Chrome launched its amazing “It Gets Better” ad, which first aired during Glee, and I saw that one of the many people telling gay kids that it gets better was Woody from Toy Story, I just knew some wingnut was going to make a stinky on the internet.  And of course the winner is Alan Chambers of Pray Away the Gay Bar and Grill!  Let us see what this character has to say this time, helped as he is by Dave Bozon of New American:

“You’ll be fine, partner.” That’s the advice America’s favorite cartoon cowboy, Woody from the popular movie franchise Toy Story, is giving to young people struggling with homosexual attraction.

For the bajillionth time, you can’t just substitute “struggling with homosexual attraction” for “gay.” I know it feels better in wingnut reality, where being gay is viewed as an affliction, but not in actual reality.

In fact, “It gets better,” choruses a cast of Hollywood and entertainment notables such as Anne Hathaway, Kathy Griffin, Lady Gaga, and Adam Lambert, who appear in a television ad promoting both homosexuality and Google’s Chrome web browser.

Both gayness AND easy tabbed browsing! The ad works too, because here I am sitting, both gay and using Google Chrome.

The ad begins with Savage, sitting next to another presumably homosexual male

His husband.

But Alan Chambers of Exodus International

Is part of the problem that leads to kids getting bullied for who they are, and has inflicted untold pain on men and women across the globe, due to the junk science and lies he sells.

asserted that the well-intentioned TV ad sends the wrong message to youth struggling with same-sex attraction. Chambers told the Christian Post that for the thousands of individuals his organization has reached out to, “it obviously didn’t get better living a gay life,” and only through leaving that lifestyle and embracing faith in God have their lives “become radically better.”

Chambers would rather indoctrinate already vulnerable people into the lie that their sexual orientation can and should be changed, and moreover he and his kind tend to prey upon gay people who have hit rock bottom in other areas, convincing them to scapegoat their sexuality for all their problems. This, of course, leads them to be worse off, as they spend thousands of dollars trying to remove something that is simply part of who they are.

While Chambers indicated that he was not surprised to see a commercial where celebrities and even Fortune 500 companies endorse homosexuality, it came as somewhat of a shock to see a beloved cartoon character co-opted for homosexual activism. “Children all over the world, including my two children, are fans of Toy Story, and to see a character like that endorsing something that at this point children have no need to know about, it’s disappointing,” he told the Christian Post.

Children all over the world, including Alan’s two children, have no need to know about reality, especially if they happen to be gay kids, he seems to be saying. God forbid a message of hope and support rise above the din of shame and hate that Alan teaches.

“I think that we have to promote the stories of people who have found an alternative to homosexuality,” he told the Post, along with doing “a better job at addressing issues related to bullying and violence and how kids have been treated at public schools.”

Yeah, Alan, you do tell those stories though.  And then we tell the rest of the story, after they come back out of the closet, because they’re still gay.

I adore this clip. Dr. Drew hosted Alan Chambers of Exodus International, who was forced to listen as KC and Larry Jansson, the married gay couple we featured who met at Love In Action in Memphis, calmly explained that everything Chambers had said was simply not true. Chambers continues to claim that Exodus doesn’t do reparative therapy, that Exodus doesn’t tell gay people that they’re disordered and/or going to hell, because on some level he knows that for him to tell the truth about who they are and what they do would damage the credibility of the “ex-gay” industry even more than it is already.

UPDATE: Hi, Wayne here adding to what Evan said.  Alan Chambers denies that his organization participates or endorses reparative therapy. However, when one goes to Exodus Books on Chambers’ website, there are books about reparative therapy prominently listed. In the picture below, one can see two such therapy books sold on the Exodus website.

Clearly, Chambers speaks out of both sides of his mouth and dissembles when in front of secular audiences. To say that Chambers is truth challenged is not a matter of opinion. It is an indisputable, well-established fact.

Also shown on this page is the book Out of Egypt: One Woman’ Journey Out of Lesbianism by Jeanette Howard. In this book she writes, “Choosing to leave the lesbian life brings us into direct conflict with the satanic realm….only when we understand and implement spiritual warfare can our walk into wholeness be successful.”

If Chambers does not think Exodus condemns people to Hell, then why is he promoting and profiting off of books such as this one?

Finally, Chambers likes to say that Exodus does not “change” people. (at least in front of secular audiences) Which is interesting, because as Larry Jansson eloquently pointed out, Exodus recruits new clients with promises of, you guessed it, “change” which is sold to desperate people on slick billboards. Clearly, Exodus either works to “change” people from gay to straight, or the group should be sued for false advertising. The billboards do not lie, but apparently, Alan Chambers does with remarkable ease.

Is it just me or does lying come to Alan Chambers as easily and naturally as breathing air? Clearly, Chambers has severe character issues that he must deal with.

Every now and again we highlight “ex-gay” activists who disappear from the scene. One such individual is Mike Ensley, who was laid off from Exodus in 2008. For those who do not remember, Ensley was the group’s “Youth Analyst”, with the insidious role of brainwashing young people.

He has now reinvented himself as an Orlando-area photographer named “Philip Michael” with a penchant for homoerotic art house photos — particularly focusing on tanned musclemen. (Ensley Photo below)

Here is what he said in his bio:

“I’m a freelance artist living in Central Florida. I discovered my passion for photography several years ago on a road trip across the United States. Since then the train has never stopped rolling.”

No words in the bio about the youth preyed on and harmed by telling them that they were sick, sinful, and could pray away the gay?

I called Ensley to ask how he was doing and to see if he was still pretending to be straight. He began stuttering and said, “I have nothing to say to you” before he hung up the telephone.I had hoped to get an update on his lifestyle, but I guess he had no interest in discussing the good ole’ days at Exodus.

In any case, Mike, when you are ready to come out of your closet, we are here to help you. A picture may be worth a thousand words. Perhaps, a hot homoerotic photo is worth 2,500 words. But, true freedom as an openly gay person is priceless.

Apparently, Mr. Ensley’s into playing make believe.  First Exodus International, and now this. It seems someone likes living in a fantasy world.

I don’t know why Focus’s Stuart Smalley Shepard is so confused about what happened when Apple pulled Exodus’s iPhone app, but then again he’s never shown a propensity for deep thinking in the past. Also, he identifies Exodus as simply a group which teaches that through Jesus you can experience “radical change.” Doesn’t even mention the “ex-gay” propaganda. Is “ex-gay” therapy becoming a laughingstock even within the walls of Focus?

Craig L. Parshall wrote a pseudo-intellectual histrionic screed for the National Religious Broadcasters today comparing Apple nixing Exodus International’s “ex-gay” app to the sinking of the Titanic. Incredible Pinocchio-like exaggerations and heaps of hyperbole are the norm for special interest groups that represent intolerant sects of Christianity. Amusingly, the fundies are so petrified of losing their cherished right to dump on gays, that they are studying the trumped up, War on Christmas-like fake issue:

Here at NRB we are so concerned about potential anti-Christian censorship over new media platforms that we formed the John Milton Project for Religious Free Speech.

In other words, NRB is organizing campaigns to bully private enterprise into accepting bigoted products that violate the consciences of fair-minded business owners.

If there is one group that is not suffering from a lack of “free speech” it’s religious extremists. I know because I was just on a 12-state speaking tour and I noticed something. One could be in the middle of nowhere — on a moonscape highway — and pick up two things on the radio: banjos and hate spewing preachers. So, rest assured, the vacuous and vicious voices represented in darker corners of religious broadcasting are being heard loud and clear.

Indeed, one can easily make the case that NRB — given the ubiquity of religious radio and television stations — has significantly greater opportunities to disseminate messages than average Americans do. However, since they think they are superior to non-believers and mainstream Christians — such a wide national reach will not sate their carnivorous appetite. They want dominion over all media platforms and will stop at nothing to ensure they control the airwaves.

What struck me in Parshall’s article is his remarkable arrogance and cloying sense of entitlement. He essentially demanded special rights and unadulterated freedom for fundamentalist businesses, while  imposing onerous, anti-business rules governing secular ones.

In a self-serving manner, Parshall states that the industry he represents is not subject to government intervention — while companies like Apple are:

Of course, some will raise a query concerning the fact that Apple and other private communications platforms, like Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter, web search engines like Google and Bing, and big Internet service providers like Comcast, Verizon and AT&T, are all private commercial entities. The question, then, is whether that fact alone should allow them the license to discriminate against certain content simply because it contains a Christian viewpoint. I would strongly suggest that it does not.

Unlike newspapers, magazines, blogs, websites, or TV and radio stations for that matter (activities that qualify for the Founders’ First Amendment vision of “freedom of the press”), the communication companies I listed above are not in the business of providing, themselves, editorial content, viewpoints, opinions, news, or information. Instead, they simply provide a technological platform (for a fee) that enables American citizens to exercise their free speech rights.

First, it is clear that Apple does not discriminate against the Christian viewpoint. Jeremy Hooper of the blog Good As You looked at the app store and found a plethora of Christian apps. Jeremy rightfully concludes:

Nine pages of Christian apps (as of 1/10/11). And there’s certainly other search criteria (“God”, “faith,” “religion”, etc.) that would turn up even more Biblical hits, if we took the time.

So it aint anti-Christian bias that caused the app to be pulled: It’s one business’ concern about a scientifically discredited movement that quite undeniably works to stigmatize and delegitimize millions of people! The “ex-gay” backers have every right to make their case in regards to the apps merits. They have every right to boycott all things with a little “i” in front of them. But the iTunes store as “anti-Christian”? It’s empirically false!

Second, it was fascinating to watch the intellectual dishonesty of Parshall — when he declared Internet based companies “platforms” and the television and radio stations represented by NRB to be creators of “editorial content.” Apple did make an editorial statement when it exercised its First Amendment right to distance itself from region-based bigotry.

Furthermore, microphones and television cameras do not create content, viewpoints or opinions on their own. Like Apple’s iStore, this technology is a also platform. It is the human beings that speak into the microphones and look into the cameras that create the content.

So, if Apple’s app store is nothing but a “platform”, than Pat Robertson’s 700 Club television studio is also just a platform waiting for faces and voices to fill the airwaves. And, if this is the case, I want a to do a show and express my opinions by hosting the 700 Club.

What? I can’t use this platform to discuss Truth Wins Out?

Censorship! The Titanic! The end of free speech!

The point is, groups like the NRB have no interest in fairness, justice or free speech. They carry the yoke of fundamentalism and feel compelled to do whatever it takes to gain the upper hand so they can proselytize — even if this means pretending they suddenly care about diversity of viewpoints and equal access, when they have no problem excluding LGBT people from virtually every aspect of life.

I’m pleased that the Apple debate revealed the rift between social conservatives — who want to dictate their views to the marketplace — and business conservatives who still believe entrepreneurs have a right to choose their own products.

Update: I thought Lisa Ling did a better job last night — and it was good to see a reporter follow-up on the “ex-gay” myth. If she continues to check-in on the “ex-gay” subjects she featured, it will not bode well for Exodus, as people rarely complete the dead-end curriculum of this fraudulent program.

In terms of the segment, the utter misery of the poor “ex-gay” man named Christan shone brightly through Exodus’ propaganda. Ling successfully showed how he was going through trapeze-artist-like contortions to be something that he is not.

After scrapping his beloved art, practically living in the gym (yeah, that’s so straight) and avoiding gay bars — Christian still came across as queer as a three dollar bill stuck in Perez Hilton’s leopard skin g-string. It is obvious to all but the most brainwashed fundamentalists how unsuccessful and strained the entire de-gaying process truly is.

Ex-Gay minister Janet Boynes also came across as a control freak, hovering ominously in the background over her struggling “poster boy” to make sure he did not fall off the hetero-wagon.  It was apparent that she would destroy Christian’s life without blinking to justify her self-serving religious delusions. I hope the ever-enterprising Boynes sells enough books to make undermining Christian’s life worth her while.

Finally, there was a gigantic contrast between the sorrowful and hopeless life led by Christian and the genuine hopefulness and happiness exhibited in another segment about a person who transitioned from female to male. This individual looked completely fulfilled (and very attractive) and headed towards a new, bright future. Meanwhile, the tunnel seemed to only get darker for the sad “ex-gay” who was eliminating every trace of individuality to conform to Janet Boynes twisted view of heterosexuality and manhood.

In my view, Ling should strongly consider doing another show from the perspective of “ex-gay” survivors. What is it like to be a teenager and be bombarded by negative images of your sexual orientation? How does propaganda from the “ex-gay” industry affect these teenagers? What are the motivations that would cause a person to enter an “ex-gay” program? What are the psychological effects of going through these sham ministries? Are “ex-gay” programs making false promises and misleading clients with deceptive advertising? Why do they talk so much about demons in their books and other products they peddle to desperate people? Would Exodus activists be willing to take No Lie MRI’s, polygraphs or penile plesymographs to back up their fanciful tales with hard (no pun intended) facts?

It is clear that Ling has learned a bit from her initial story — and is more attuned to the nuances of this explosive issue. There is so much more for her to explore on this topic, and I hope she will take the opportunity to do so responsibly, using all the research and resources at her disposal.

** GLAAD’s take on the show.