I have never seen anyone get this many gays in this many places to throw the same theme party on the same night on such short notice.

All hail the new King of the Gays, Harold Camping!

Off to one of those parties right now…

Yay, because we were all wondering what he might have to say about us!  I like the way he says “less-bian.”

Remember, you guys, if you’re raptured on Saturday, take pictures with your cell phone!

[h/t watertiger]

This is Dan Savage’s husband Terry and one of their friends’ kids playing Just Dance 2 on the Wii.  As Dan points out, no adults are intervening!  Yes, watch this video below, and you will surely see why people like Tony Perkins, Maggie Gallagher and the lesser folk like Peter LaBarbera have given up their lives in order to fight the Gay Menace.

Dan adds:

We’ve moved so quickly from the gay-people-recruit-straight-people’s-children libel to gay people dancing around in straight people’s living rooms with their kids. The concernstipated women at the Concerned Women for America, the liars at Americans For Truth About Homosexuality, and the anti-family haters at Family Research Council—all officially designated hate groups now (I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of typing that)—are all very, very worried about teh gay agenda and the “creeping social acceptance of open homosexuality,” as they call it. To the haters I say: you’re losing and you’re losing badly—and not just in Congress or state legislatures or on cable news shoutfests. The most important battles you’re losing are taking place in living rooms all over the country.

Note:  CWA is actually not a designated hate group yet.  They were profiled, but not listed.  Otherwise, though, Dan makes a really good point that the anti-gay set doesn’t seem to be able to grasp.  They like to lump homosexuality in as “just another sin,” but the problem is and always has been that, for example, a person doesn’t feel better about murderers by hanging out with them and getting to know them.  A person doesn’t grow in acceptance of people who steal from others by living next door to thieves.  But when people get to know gay people better, we end up with a world where videos like that above become the norm, and everybody is better off for it.

This, I think, is why, despite their rhetoric, bigots so fiercely fight against homosexuality to the exclusion of everything else they consider sin.  They feel they must scream the loudest about it, in a desperate attempt to drown out the reality happening in living rooms, classrooms, churches, etc., every single day.  Every time a gay couple moves in across the street from a family who’s been previously on the fence about homosexuality, we win.  [Not that there aren't crappy gay neighbors, of course.]  But as a general rule, when the gay couple moves in, or the woman in the next cubicle is honest about her marriage to her wife, and so on, we win.  This is a large part of why the trend lines Wayne wrote about this morning are going the way they’re going, and there’s no rational reason things would ever reverse course.

The bigots have lost.

CNN.com has a “Quick Vote” running at the bottom of their page today, which asks the following question:  ”Is the surge in gay TV characters ‘bad for society’?”

Uh.

I dunno, CNN.  Was the surge in black teevee characters during the run of The Cosby Show bad for society?  And do you really want people’s responses on that?

Good god.

The poll is going in the right direction right now, but not enough, so for god’s sake, go Freep it.

It’s Friday afternoon, so let’s take a break from Important News (I’m sure I’ll find some in a minute) and look at this piece in The Advocate on “The Most Popular Gays On Twitter.” Important stuff! Let’s find out if I know who any of these people are?

15. Chris Colfer [I do not know who this is.]
13. Michael Buckley, “YouTube personality.” [I do not know who this is.]
11. Adam Lambert [I know about this one! He is the one with the singing and the gayness, yes?]
10. Neil Patrick Harris! Neil Patrick Harris! Neil Patrick Harris!
9. Suze Orman [Heart her.]
6. Ricky Martin
4. Rachel Maddow! [It is nice to see a political lesbian that high on the list.]

Okay, that’s like half of them. Click over to see the ones I skipped, as well as the top three. If you want to skip to number one, click here. (Hint: she dances.)

This post, of course, is really just a shameless ploy to point out that I’m not on that list yet, so, if you feel so led, you may follow me right here. Also, Wayne is here, Mike is here, and Truth Wins Out, which is run as a joint venture between Wayne’s dog Doinkers and my dog Lula, is right here.

Yesterday, we laughed and laughed at a candid video of Dr. Marcus Bachmann, husband of Michele, and the funny thing about the video didn’t even have to be stated, but simply was understood by writers and commenters alike! If the joke had a name, though, it would be “Mary.”

Well, let’s do that again, as we listen to Mr. Crazy Eyes on a radio show, telling us how to not be gay anymore, by way of Jesus/paying Mr. Crazy Eyes with money. Hell, let us live-blog it!

0:00 – 1:15: Boring
1:15: Christian counselors should not ask people how they feel! It is an abomination!
1:35: Christian counselors and friends should be calling their patients sinners!
2:00: We should be wise about from whom we receive “help.”
2:10: Sounds really gay when he references Better Homes & Gardens magazine. I guess they don’t get Dwell in rural Minnesota.
2:45: What do you say to your gay child? Dr. Bachmann suggests that adolescents will question their sexuality, and that this is normal! But this does not mean we should go down the Road of Homosexuality!
3:35: “Barbarians need to be educated, they need to be disciplined.” Great, gay kids are barbarians.
4:00: “Let’s fayth it, what’s our culture, what is our public school system doing today? They are giving FULL, WIDE OPEN doors” to encourage kids to think and do gay things.

Summing up, your gay child might be gay, but that does not mean your gay child should go down the ROAD OF HOMOSEXUALITY, and should instead stay on the Sidewalk of Straightness, which leads to the Cove of Crazy Eyes, like Marcus Bachmann did.

So that was fun!

Now, for balance, let’s hear about gays from Michele Bachmann herself, as played by Wonkette’s Sara Benincasa!

“Noooooo! Noooooo! Noooooo! Nooooo! Nooooo! Nooooo! Noooooo! NO GAYS!”

[Wonkette: Michele (and Marcus) Bachmann Will Cure Your Nasty Case of the Gays]

So, this exists:

Gay farmers in Canada have come out–and banded together in a social club where they can talk about crops and the weather, just like any other farmer, reported Canadian newspaper The National Post on July 27.

The Gay Farmers Club is one of a number of groups that operate under the aegis of Au coeur des familles agricoles (ACFA), an organization created to help Canada’s farmers with the pressures that modern life–along with soaring debt, international trade, and a gap between how people in other lines of work live their lives, and how farmers are tied–literally, and often without a break–to the land.

[...]

“We share personal stories, but mostly we discuss farming and agriculture,” one member told the publication. “It’s great because we face similar challenges as both farmers and gay people living in rural regions–and we don’t need to explain ourselves.”

I post this because it’s fun, but also because it just shows, yet again, that we are everywhere, and some of us are growing and preparing your food, so you should be nice.

Seriously, though, you always hear the “pro-family” crowd rail agianst “San Francisco valyews” and “East Coast lib’ruls,” and Peter LaBarbera likes to say that people in communities full of bigots should be free to make discriminatory, hateful laws against gay people, but really, we ARE everywhere, in every community. These are Canadians, so they’re obviously more protected than we are in the United States, but maybe one day we’ll get there.

Or something.  I really don’t know what this video is about, but it’s Randy Thomas talking about how he bought the new Old Spice, because he thinks the man in the commercial is “funny”, but unfortunately the deodorant makes him smell like a “cranapple woman.”

Then he goes to Starbucks and orders a gayer drink than I ever have, and finishes by driving down the road singing, in a gay way, the end.

If you’re not familiar with Greg Gutfeld, I don’t blame you.  Most of us would rather do anything else in the known universe than watch Fox’s Red Eye at 3:oo AM on weekdays.  Gutfeld seems to think he’s the “conservative version” of The Daily Show or something, and as with most attempts at humor from that side of the aisle, it falls flat, because humor should be rooted in reality rather than white male resentment.

Gutfeld’s latest attempt at humor/journalism (posted, of course, at one of Andy Breitbart’s “Big Moron” sites) involves Muslims, the “Ground Zero” mosque (Cordoba House for the literates among you), and homosexuals:

So, the Muslim investors championing the construction of the new mosque near Ground Zero claim it’s all about strengthening the relationship between the Muslim and non-Muslim world.

As an American, I believe they have every right to build the mosque – after all, if they buy the land and they follow the law – who can stop them?

Yes, surely, wingnut Greg Gutfeld thinks the mosque is a great idea.  Oh wait…

I’m announcing tonight, that I am planning to build and open the first gay bar that caters not only to the west, but also Islamic gay men. To best express my sincere desire for dialogue, the bar will be situated next to the mosque Park51, in an available commercial space.

This is not a joke. I’ve already spoken to a number of investors, who have pledged their support in this bipartisan bid for understanding and tolerance.

As you know, the Muslim faith doesn’t look kindly upon homosexuality, which is why I’m building this bar. It is an effort to break down barriers and reduce deadly homophobia in the Islamic world.

The goal, however, is not simply to open a typical gay bar, but one friendly to men of Islamic faith. An entire floor, for example, will feature non-alcoholic drinks, since booze is forbidden by the faith. The bar will be open all day and night, to accommodate men who would rather keep their sexuality under wraps – but still want to dance.

Neat.  He’s come up with a way to:

A. Be racist against Muslims

B. Feign a liking for The Gays.

C. Engage in a discriminatory game of “Now you gays and you Muslims fight!”

Isn’t that funny?  Roy Edroso’s read on this is on the money:

I hate Muslims so much, to get back at them I’ll even pretend to like fags.

Basically.

Of course, Steve M. at No More Mister Nice Blog points out that this is all sort of pointless because

Well, a bit of searching turns up the fact that there’s already a gay club — or a lesbian club, or at least a part-time lesbian club — down the street from the proposed Cordoba House. The address of Cordoba is 51 Park Place; at 27 Park Place, there’s Club Remix, which shows up at OutAdvisor.com’s Gay Travel Reviews because LipStik Productions runs a “Latin dance for women every 1st and 3rd Saturdays of the month only.”

Heh.  This is funny because there has been a Muslim community in downtown Manhattan for a long time.  I guess they’ve been able to coexist with their neighbors, the way that New Yorkers always have.

Steve adds:

So what have I learned from this? Number one, if you build anything culturally conservative in New York, you’re going to be surrounded by stuff that’s not at all culturally conservative. (And you can’t live here for any length of time without knowing that, so I strongly suspect that the Cordoba House people wouldn’t react to a next-door gay bar in a way that would fulfill Greg Gutfeld’s most sophomoric hopes.)

But where would Greg Gutfeld be without sophomoric hopes?

Also, read Tbogg on the subject.  His theory, and I think it’s a good one, is that this is a play to move from the 3:00 AM slot to the 2:30 AM slot, replacing the slightly-more-watched Who Wants To Take A Shower With Bill O’Reilly?

SAITH THE LORD.

I mean, saith the crazy man named James Hartline.

No, I am not kidding.

This must have been the “perfect storm” Maggie Gallagher was talking about that one time when everybody was laughing at her.

(h/t Mike Tidmus)

UPDATE: Okay, so nobody reads James Hartline’s blog, but I was perusing it a second ago, just to see what else the crazy lady was up to, and what do you know?  I found out that James Hartline believes that Stevie Wonder and Aretha Franklin have prophetic messages from God embedded in one of their songs.  Again, Hartline believes that Stevie Wonder and Aretha Franklin have, yes, prophetic messages from God embedded in one of their songs.  Here, let James tell you:

The Hidden Prophetic Last Days Message of Stevie Wonder and Aretha Franklin in their performance of “Until You Come Back To Me.” Their land is calling, calling them to reclaim their promised destiny after 400 years of captivity. They came as slaves, but they shall leave as Kings and Princes, and Empowered Spiritual Royalty.

And:

There are many revelations that I have received from God that I have never discussed in public. The time is coming to reveal those matters. There is going to be a mass exodus in the years ahead of Americans returning to Africa, the homeland of their ancestors of slavery.

Uh huh.

And:

In this video you will hear a prophetic message encoded in the song by Stevie Wonder and Aretha Franklin that cries out about God’s desire after centuries of waiting for the return of His people to the African continent with wealth, resources and the spiritual understanding to destroy the ancient satanic forces of the devil. As Joseph was sent to Egypt to prepare a way for Israel to grow into a powerful Jewish nation fit to conquer the promised land, African slaves were sent to America to rise up after 400 years with wealth and ability to return to Africa to conquer their promised land.

Awwww, he’s like a gay Lou Engle.