Exodus Wants You to Believe It Has Changed Its Ways and Gone Mainstream.
The Problem Is, It’s Not True.

On November 30, 2011, Ex-Gay Watch writer David Roberts reported that the world’s largest “ex-gay” organization, Exodus International, was on the verge of financial collapse. The crisis was a result of declining ministry attendance, a history of failed “ex-gay” activists, a more LGBT-supportive younger generation, and debt from an ill-advised purchase of a $1.1 million building during the height of the real estate bubble.

To stanch the bleeding, the group’s leaders held an emergency meeting in New York on Nov. 16.  At the clandestine gathering, according to Roberts, Exodus President Alan Chambers (pictured) emphasized making Exodus more “donor accessible” by “re-branding” the organization into “something more palatable to those with funds to give, and the general public alike.”

It appears that Chambers’ first attempt at enacting this new strategy occurred at the Gay Christian Network’s (GCN’s) annual conference in Orlando on Jan. 5-8. In a fascinating panel discussion, Chambers endured scrutiny of his record by former Exodus leaders John Smid (Love in Action), Wendy Gritter (New Directions), and Jeremy Marks (Courage).

During the tense two-hour exchange, Chambers admitted what LGBT advocates who follow these groups have said for years:

“The majority of people I have met, and the majority meaning 99.9% of them, have not experienced a change in their sexual orientation or have gotten to a place where they can say they have never been tempted or are not tempted in some way or experience some level of same-sex attraction.”

This begs the obvious question: Why is Exodus still in business given a 99.9% failure-rate? It seems that embracing Exodus to change one’s sexual orientation makes about as much sense as basing one’s retirement plan on winning the lottery.

In 2006, Chambers brazenly told the San Francisco Chronicle that there are “hundreds of thousands of ex-gays.” Surely, he knew at this time that his heavily advertised programs were not changing people from gay-to-straight, yet Exodus continued collecting money from desperate and vulnerable clients based on these baked numbers, which I believe constitutes consumer fraud.

However, there is a larger and more relevant question facing us today: Was Chambers’ statement at GCN proof that Exodus is turning over a new leaf or was he simply espousing new lies to assist with the cynical “rebranding” efforts dubiously floated in New York?

This key question will be partially answered in Atlanta, where Exodus will hold its Feb. 18 Love Won Out conference. Many eyes will be fixed on this event because it is the first time that Chambers will speak to his base following the GCN panel discussion.

Now that Chambers has admitted that his program is essentially worthless, will he bravely impart this message to the conservative parents who will attend this upcoming conference and desperately want Exodus to provide a “cure” for their child’s homosexuality? Will he risk letting the unvarnished truth upset his political right wing base that pays his salary? Will Chambers purge his program of virulently anti-gay books that portray homosexuality as the work of Satan?

Damning evidence uncovered by Truth Wins Out incontrovertibly proves that Exodus has not altered its message and may be involved in a strategic campaign of subterfuge to trick news reporters and gullible LGBT activists into believing it has moderated its message.

Truth Wins Out’s research reveals that Exodus appears to be engaged in a new two-pronged strategy:

 1)    Alan Chambers is moderating his tone in mainstream media interviews and in interactions with LGBT advocates, while toning down homophobic language on the group’s main website. The hope is to create a façade that will marginalize LGBT advocates that criticize the group’s work. Chambers also hopes to persuade news reporters that Exodus is not stridently anti-gay.

2)    While the unsuspecting or easily duped focus on Chambers’ slick marketing campaign, the same misleading and toxic anti-gay messages historically associated with Exodus will continue unabated below the radar at local Exodus affiliates.

This cynical strategy is very similar to the GOP presidential primaries where Mitt Romney smiled and stayed above the fray in Iowa, while letting his Super PAC bombard Newt Gingrich with negative ads. Because the attacks were not directly from the campaign, it offered Romney a thin veneer of plausible deniability. “Hey, I never said those terrible things about Newt.”

At Exodus, Chambers is smiling and presenting himself as a nice guy who has seen the error of his homophobic ways. Meanwhile his metaphorical Super PAC (the local Exodus affiliates) are engaged in the familiar culture war that destroys the self-esteem and lives of innocent LGBT people, particularly youth.

It is of critical importance that people understand that what Alan Chambers says publicly means essentially nothing unless his words are fully backed by the actions of local Exodus affiliates where the real “pray away the gay” programs occur.

For example, at the GCN discussion, Chambers alleged that media sensationalism is responsible for distorting the image of his organization. He bitterly complained that talk shows falsely describe him as someone who “overcame same-sex attractions…That has to be clarified.”

Such clarification could begin with Chambers who conveniently failed to disclose to the GCN crowd that Exodus lists on its website a ministry affiliate named “Overcomers Outreach Center.” If Chambers does not want the media to claim he “overcame” homosexuality, he should demand that this ministry find a more accurate name that does not deceive clients.

Chambers went on to tell the GCN crowd: “I hate the term ‘ex-gay.’ I don’t use the term ‘ex-gay.’ I hope I don’t lead an ‘ex-gay’ ministry.”

Sadly, Chambers’ remark has little resemblance to reality, with few Exodus affiliates getting the memo. For example, the Christian Collation for Reconciliation proudly boasts on its website that it is, “a member ministry of Exodus-International since 1987, the oldest ex-gay ministry in the state of Texas.”

At GCN, Chambers also vehemently rejected the idea that his organization “prays away the gay.” While Exodus does not use this phrase, it does accurately capture the essence of this organization as objectively judged by the language used by its affiliates. For instance, one flagship ministry, Portland Fellowship, claims, “freedom from homosexuality comes through a person…the Lord Jesus Christ.” The group says it has helped “hundreds of men and women find biblical resolution to their homosexuality.”

Desert Stream Ministries, based in Kansas City, tells clients “the cross is God’s answer to homosexuality.” Exodus can play semantic games all it wants, but reasonable people will conclude that these programs sound an awful lot like “praying away the gay.”

Most disturbing is when Chambers told the GCN gathering: “We’re not here to change you. That is our message. It is something that we have to say. We can’t do that… ‘Change is Possible’ we don’t use that phrase anymore…I’m sorry that that is something that we used.”

One can only conclude by this false statement that Chambers is either malevolent or incompetent. Malevolent in that he is presenting an insincere portrait of Exodus, or breathtakingly incompetent in that he is completely oblivious to what is actually occurring under his nose at Exodus affiliates.

For example, Exodus-affiliate Truth Ministry, based in South Carolina, uses the slogan “Healing from homosexuality through Jesus Christ.” The ministry’s executive director, McKrae Game, has an article posted on the group’s website titled “Is Change Possible?” and a picture of a billboard on the site reads, “I questioned homosexuality. Change is possible. Discover how.”

Another Exodus affiliate, “Carolina New Song” writes on its website that “Our goal is to provide help in achieving an optimum level of healing and change.”

Still another key Exodus-affiliate, Living Hope in Dallas, is still making it appear that the group can “change” people from gay-to-straight. Next to a picture of a good looking man who appears happy, Living Hope tells potential clients: “We believe God has given men a powerful voice to speak truth and life into the world and bring about meaningful change.”

Most revealing is that the bogus message of “change” that Chambers pretends to reject when speaking to an LGBT audience, is occurring in his own backyard. The website of Orlando Exodus-affiliate “Exchange” peddles the message that it offers potential clients “hope for wholeness” and a place where they will be “Finding Freedom From Homosexuality.”

Exchange has an article by Scott Kingry that discusses “leaving homosexuality behind.” In his piece he rhetorically asks, “Can a person change his or her orientation? I believe the answer is yes, but the level of a person’s emotional, physical and spiritual damage might prolong a person’s process. Also, how serious a person’s own motivation is for seeking change may also affect a desired outcome.”

In other words, the Exodus ministry geographically closest to Chambers is peddling the same old “change” myth and then dangerously blaming the victims as unmotivated or too damaged when Exodus’ program inevitably fails.

Obviously, Chambers is either lying or clueless when he portrays the incendiary and misleading “Change is Possible” phrase as a slogan from the past. It is not only widespread as part of present day Exodus rhetoric, but there seems to be no mechanism to curtail its use in future Exodus campaigns at the local level – where the actual programs are instituted. (We showed a few examples of doubletalk, but they were really just the tip of the iceberg)

Sadly, it appears Chambers’ public relations gimmick may pay off. Justin Lee, the Executive Director of GCN, fell for Chambers’ act and said on stage to Chambers, “I hear you and I believe you when I hear you say that this is not a slogan you are using any more.”

Lee should understand that an examination of Exodus’ rhetoric and programs is not about belief but cold, hard facts. When we allow deceptive “ex-gay” activists to con people into thinking that they are mainstream, we do a great disservice to the people we are trying to keep from being victimized. (Note: GCN and Lee did an admirable job with most of the panel and actually did engage Chambers and ask some tough questions.)

Exodus remains a radical, extreme, dangerous, and scientifically bankrupt organization with a toxic message, particularly when it is aimed at youth. At the GNC event Chambers said, “With regards to youth, I think it is a wonderful thing for youth inside the conservative families to have an option through a ministry of Exodus, as long as it is done well. If it isn’t done well, I hope that I will hear about it and we can make these changes.”

As previously demonstrated, Chambers either has no idea about what is going on inside affiliate ministries, or is completely aware and is deliberately concealing the facts. On the GCN panel, John Smid, (pictured) former President of Exodus’ Board, pointedly refuted Chambers’ assertion that Exodus was a healthy environment for youth. (Smid now identifies as gay)

“How many years has Exodus Youth been in ministry? And how many young people today are alienated from their families, their safety, their homes, their parents, their funding, and I never knew that before, because I did not understand it, and wouldn’t receive that. But it is absolutely true, they are.”

This month, Rolling Stone magazine vividly outlined how Exodus’ youth programs can torment students. The article, by Sabrina Rubin Erdely, followed an outbreak of LGBT youth suicides in Minnesota’s Anoka-Hennepin school district (also Michele Bachmann’s congressional district), which has been sued for enacting anti-gay policies. One of the teenagers featured in Rolling Stone, Justin Aaberg, had been harassed by zealous students at an Exodus-sponsored school event just prior to his suicide:

Justin shrugged and smiled, then retreated to his room. It had been a hard day: the annual “Day of Truth” had been held at school, an evangelical event then-sponsored by the anti-gay ministry Exodus International, whose mission is to usher gays back to wholeness and “victory in Christ” by converting them to heterosexuality. Day of Truth has been a font of controversy that has bounced in and out of the courts; its legality was affirmed last March, when a federal appeals court ruled that two Naperville, Illinois, high school students’ Day of Truth T-shirts reading BE HAPPY, NOT GAY were protected by their First Amendment rights. (However, the event, now sponsored by Focus on the Family, has been renamed “Day of Dialogue.”) Local churches had been touting the program, and students had obediently shown up at Anoka High School wearing day of truth T-shirts, preaching in the halls about the sin of homosexuality. Justin wanted to brush them off, but was troubled by their proselytizing. Secretly, he had begun to worry that maybe he was an abomination, like the Bible said.”

…“‘Justin?’ Tammy Aaberg rapped on her son’s locked bedroom door again. It was past noon, and not a peep from inside, unusual for Justin.

‘Justin?’ She could hear her own voice rising as she pounded harder, suddenly overtaken by a wild terror she couldn’t name. ‘Justin!’ she yelled. Tammy grabbed a screwdriver and loosened the doorknob. She pushed open the door. He was wearing his Anoka High School sweatpants and an old soccer shirt. His feet were dangling off the ground. Justin was hanging from the frame of his futon, which he’d taken out from under his mattress and stood upright in the corner of his room. Screaming, Tammy ran to hold him and recoiled at his cold skin. His limp body was grotesquely bloated – her baby – eyes closed, head lolling to the right, a dried smear of saliva trailing from the corner of his mouth. His cheeks were strafed with scratch marks, as though in his final moments he’d tried to claw his noose loose. He’d cinched the woven belt so tight that the mortician would have a hard time masking the imprint it left in the flesh above Justin’s collar.

Still screaming, Tammy ran to call 911. She didn’t notice the cellphone on the floor below Justin’s feet, containing his last words, a text in the wee hours:

:-( he had typed to a girlfriend.

What’s wrong

Nothing

I can come over

No I’m fine

Are you sure you’ll be ok

No it’s ok I’ll be fine, I promise

In defending his dangerous youth program and excusing the continued use of reckless terminology, Chambers disingenuously pretends he has little power over Exodus affiliates, even though he tries to project an aura of power as the group’s president.

 “You can’t imagine how difficult it is to steer a ship like Exodus, the size of Exodus with regards to these type of issues…it is difficult and I have been very careful not to confuse a large constituency of people too quickly with terminology changes.”

Of course, we all know this excuse is patently absurd. In a single e-mail, Chambers can instruct all affiliates to stop outright saying or manipulating language to imply that “change is possible.” In the same communication, Chambers can demand an immediate cessation of all work relating to Exodus Youth. Furthermore, he can warn that all ministries that do not comply with his dictate will lose their official status as an affiliate. It is beyond laughable for Chambers to pretend that he has no say in such matters and is little more than a helpless bystander to enacting changes within his own organization.

The upcoming Love Won Out seminar in Atlanta is Chambers’ first opportunity to show that he has the integrity to tell a conservative Christian audience exactly what he told GCN: Exodus’ programs don’t work.

If Chambers delivers the same, tired, anti-gay message espoused at previous conferences, he will be permanently viewed as a two-faced charlatan. Only through a radical departure from the past, an entirely new message, and a demand of total compliance by Exodus affiliates, will Chambers’ reality finally begin to match his rhetoric.

The world is waiting for real repentance, not the rebranding of a failed product. Atlanta could signify a new beginning for Exodus, or the absolute end of people ever again believing a word Alan Chambers has to say. This may be his last opportunity to show that “Change is Possible” for Exodus International.

_______________________________________

Fight back against Exodus’ lies in Atlanta:

‘Love Won Out’ community meeting
Thursday, Feb. 16, 7:30 p.m.
Lutheran Church of the Redeemer
731 Peachtree St., Atlanta, GA 30308

Protest
Saturday, Feb. 18, 10 a.m. – 1 p.m.
Midway Church
3915 Carrollton-Villa Rica Highway
Villa Rica, GA 30180
www.facebook.com/QJL.Atlanta

Ex-Gay Watch posted a report this morning which shows an Exodus International in dire straits, indeed, something many of us on this side of the fence have suspected for a while. Alan Chambers threw a “Hail, Mary” conference several weeks ago for the purposes of finding a way to save/revitalize the organization:

Three years ago, Exodus purchased a building for a little over $1.1 Million. This was at the height of the real estate bubble and it’s value must have decreased significantly since. While they seem to have shed as many of their obligations as possible, debt service for that building must be a great draw on their meager resources. According to IRS documents, they burned through $200,000 of their savings in 2010 alone. In short, if they continue on their current trajectory, there seems little doubt that Exodus will fold in the near future.

Knowing this, Chambers called the New York meeting together and posed the question, “how can we save Exodus?” Unfortunately for those of us who might have a glimmer of hope to the contrary, this plea does not seem to be based on any deep, inner change of heart or ideology. According to first person accounts, the emphasis was on how to make Exodus more “donor accessible.” The meeting was filled with the modern lingo of those who advise on the solicitation of charitable funds. This is about money.

Chamber’s apparently wishes to “re-brand” Exodus into something more palatable to those with funds to give, and the general public alike. According to our sources, Chambers said that “everything is on the table.” That everything apparently includes the possibility of his resignation. It was also clear from the meeting that this is their last resort, their “Hail Mary” so to speak — they’ve tried everything else. Indeed, it seems certain that Chambers would have made pleas to anyone he knew with money before taking this drastic action. And we’ve all seen the odd inconsistencies apparent in their public face. Exodus is an organization fumbling for a solution.

David Roberts goes on to mention that Alan Chambers is mystified by people’s positive reactions to John Smid’s journey toward humanity, and seems to want a piece of that pie. What’s sick about it, though, is that one gets the sense, reading the report, that any “change” in message from Exodus would be purely motivated by money. On some level, at least, the leadership of Exodus understands that the Western world has left them behind, and that the money is drying up for their sort of hateful work, but it doesn’t seem that they’re actually soul-searching in any way. Just looking to rebrand the organization so they don’t look so hateful.

One of the reasons Truth Wins Out and Ex-Gay Watch and other people/organizations with a dog in this fight work so tirelessly to simply expose what these “ex-gay” businesses are all about is that the whole “reparative therapy” model doesn’t fare well in the light of day. Indeed, even moderate-to-conservative Christians, when they find out that it exists, tend to roll their eyes and consider the notion preposterous. So into the light of day we send them and let them succeed or fail on their own merits. Failure tends to be the order of the day.

Exodus plans to announce their “new direction” after their 2012 Leadership conference in January:

It will be after this conference that Exodus announces whatever it is they decide, presumably some sort of apology which allows them to maintain their core ideology, while claiming to have gone about expressing it badly — too much truth and not enough grace, etc.

Wayne remarked in the comments section on Ex-Gay Watch on the plastic, transparent nature of this Hail, Mary! pass from Alan and the Exodus clan:

When Exodus apologizes we expect substance, not a strategy. Chambers must realize that Smid received support because his apology seemed sincere, or at least he was heading in the right direction.

Meanwhile, no one bought The International Healing Foundation’s recent apology from Richard Cohen, who we all thought was full of shit. Chambers would be wise to look at the Cohen flop, not just the Smid success.

The dishonesty and deciept; the semantic games and double talk; the arrogance and allegiance to the political right; the forays overseas that spread hate in places like Uganda; have earned Chambers incredible ill will.

An apology absent a resignation will ring hollow. Chambers should practice some of that conservative “personal responsibility” and admit he has been a failure as a leader and maybe as a human being. He should go somewhere peaceful and quiet to reflect on the harm he has caused as an agent of intolerance. When he returns from exile, he should consider spending the rest of his life undoing the damage that occurred at his hands.

Well said.

Filmmaker Morgan Jon Fox has been touring the nation this fall, premiering his six-years-in-the-making documentary This Is What Love In Action Looks Like. The film was inspired by the protests that began when a sixteen year-old named Zach posted a plea for help, after learning that his parents were forcing him into a now defunct “ex-gay” program called Refuge, run by Love in Action in Memphis, Tennessee. The sold-out hometown premiere in Memphis was Friday night, as part of the Indie Memphis film festival, and let’s just say the film did well:

Memphis’ Morgan Jon Fox, who debuted the final version of his years-in-the-making documentary This is What Love in Action Looks Like at Playhouse on the Square Friday, was the big winner at the closing night awards ceremony of the 14th annual Indie Memphis Film Festival.

Fox’s film, which documents the plight of a Memphis teen forced into a church-based “gay de-programming” institution and the surprising evolution of the institution’s director, picked up two awards from two different juries: It picked up a Special Documentary Jury Award and Best Hometowner Feature, the latter coming with a $1000 cash prize presented by the Memphis & Shelby County Film and Television Commission.

“I’ve shown several films here and the feeling I get having a premiere here is different than anywhere,” Fox said after picking up the special jury award. He went on to express his appreciation for having a home “so loving and supportive.”

After the screening, a lively panel discussion happened, moderated by Chris Davis of The Memphis Flyer, and featured Fox, Peterson Toscano [who is in the film, and whom many of you are familiar with], E.J. Friedman, one of the original bloggers and activists who participated in the 2005 protests, former Love In Action leader John Smid, and also your own Evan Hurst of Truth Wins Out. Here’s a snapshot photographer Michael Norris took of that panel. I’m in the middle and Smid has the microphone [click to embiggen]:

A hearty Truth Wins Out congratulations goes out to Morgan for a job well done!

All should read this great piece by Bianca Phillips in Memphis’s alternative newsweekly, the Memphis Flyer. In it, she takes the reader back on a recap of what he and the Exodus flagship model Love In Action used to be, and describes the evolution Smid is undergoing as a result of meeting local gay filmmaker Morgan Jon Fox, whose documentary This Is What Love In Action Looks Like has been making its rounds this fall on the independent film festival circuit:

John Smid, the former director of ex-gay Christian ministry Love in Action, is a changed man.

Sitting in an office above the detached garage of his Germantown home, he has nothing but praise for the work of local gay filmmaker Morgan Jon Fox. Fox’s long-awaited documentary, This Is What Love in Action Looks Like, makes its local premiere at the Indie Memphis Film Festival on November 4th, and it was through the multi-year making of that film that Smid’s ideas about homosexuality began to shift dramatically.

“I’m realizing that people have the freedom in Christ to choose to live in a gay relationship. That’s not for me to judge on their behalf,” said Smid, who resigned as executive director of Love in Action in 2008. “I realize I was what the gay community often said I was: I was judgmental. I was critical. I was somewhat homophobic.”

People who were directly affected by Smid’s activities during his time at Love In Action are having varied reactions to Smid’s change in attitude, and that’s understandable. Peterson Toscano spoke to The Flyer for the article and had this to say, among other things:

“Love in Action was oppression in this concentrated form, so I was very depressed afterwards and suicidal for a time,” said Toscano, who wrote the play Doin’ Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House as a way to cope with the damage. “I was really confused, and there was lots of self-hatred and shame. There was lots of bad training about sexuality. Nobody was trained to teach anything.”

Toscano said one of Love in Action’s core teachings was especially damaging.

“They insisted that, as queer people, we were not able to have healthy relationships. So even friendships would become twisted and perverted because we became too emotionally needy,” Toscano said. “I found myself putting up walls five to six years later as I was getting to know people. I had it in my head that I couldn’t get close to people.”

So glib apologies aren’t really going to cut it, though it does seem like Smid really is starting to grasp what he did. Peterson has talked about Smid’s “evolution” extensively on his blog, so if you haven’t read that, do so.

Lastly, Bianca also interviewed me for the article and asked what Truth Wins Out’s response to this sort of thing is. Here is what I said:

Evan Hurst, the Memphis-based social media director for anti-ex-gay group Truth Wins Out, echoes the sentiment many former clients have publicly expressed.

“If [Smid] is on a path of personal growth and starting to grasp that he played a key part of inflicting harm onto people, that’s great. [Truth Wins Out] only wishes him the best in continuing on that road,” Hurst said. “But part of our mission is to expose this industry for what it is. We’re not shy about our goal, and that’s to let every single person know how harmful these ministries are.”

Yup! So anyway, go read the whole thing to see what you’re missing.

[image via The Memphis Flyer and Justin Fox Burks]

I’m glad to see Smid telling the truth. Chris Matthews has been a major ally on our issues and uses his platform in a very positive way. As always, Michelle Goldberg of The Daily Beast was eloquent and knowledgeable.

Veteran ex-gay leader John Smid recently acknowledged that, in his decades of ministry to make thousands of gay men turn straight, none had truly changed their sexual orientation, though many had changed their religious beliefs or their behavior.

Despite his own same-sex orientation, Smid plans to remain married to his wife, and he remains a Christian. Kudos, I say, to Smid for seeking to practice authenticity and congruence in body and spirit.

Longtime Exodus vice president Randy Thomas doesn’t feel the same way.

Thomas, who was nudged out of Exodus for unknown reasons this year, declares that Smid — one of his original ex-gay mentors — “renounced faith in Him.” In other words, Thomas lies about Smid’s faith and essentially condemns him to hell.

That condemnation, dear readers, is the mark of an insecure soul with little apparent grace – the most basic value of Christianity. (Read More)

(Weekly Column)

For decades, John Smid had been the leader of Love in Action, the infamous “ex-gay” ministry that took away the underwear of clients if the undergarments appeared too gay.  The strict Memphis-based ministry also used an egg timer in the bathroom to make sure its clients would not masturbate while showering.

Of all the “ex-gay” ministries this was the most cult-like – with Smid keeping tight control over the social lives of his clients, who paid a pretty penny to live in the residential program.

The amount of mind control employed by Smid to turn gay people into heterosexuals was stunning. In a 1997 interview with the Memphis Flyer, Smid, spoke of his own special technique for denying reality: “I’m looking at that wall and suddenly I say it’s blue,” Smid said, pointing to a yellow wall. “Someone else comes along and says, ‘No, it’s gold.’ But I want to believe that wall is blue. Then God comes along and He says, ‘You’re right, John, [that yellow wall] is blue.’ That’s the help I need. God can help me make that [yellow] wall blue.”

This high level of brainwashing was not uncommon for Love in Action’s star clients. For example, Anne Paulk, co-author of Love Won Out, wrote about the mind games she played to allegedly overcome her lesbian thoughts: “…I would start to experience a sexual response…So I’d look out the car window and say something like, ‘Gosh, lord, there’ a tree out there! That tree is green, and it has leaves on it. It’s got brown bark.’ I would fix my mind on anything and everything to distract myself…over time that process made me mentally disciplined enough to displace all lesbian thoughts, period.” (I photographed her “ex-gay” poster boy husband John in a gay bar)

Of course, such techniques can temporarily instill discipline to change sexual behavior – but not one’s sexual orientation. In a stunning admission this week, Smid said that altering one’s attractions are highly improbable – indeed so unlikely that he claims that he has not met a single man who truly prayed away the gay.  According to Smid:

Yes, there are homosexuals that make dramatic changes in their lives as they walk through the transformation process with Jesus. I have heard story after story of changes that have occurred as men and women find the grace of God in their lives as homosexual people. But, I’m sorry, this transformation process may not meet the expectations of many Christians. I also want to reiterate here that the transformation for the vast majority of homosexuals will not include a change of sexual orientation. Actually I’ve never met a man who experienced a change from homosexual to heterosexual.

Wow. If the “ex-gay” myth did not work for Smid, then it won’t work for anyone. After all, he had incredible dedication, adhered to a hardcore form of fundamentalism, and enforced a strict cult-like regimen on his charges. Yet, years later, he is faced with the daunting reality that “ex-gay” programs are a Religious Right marketing program, not a legitimate movement.

Needless to say, leaving the past completely behind is not easy. Smid is still married to his wife and on a journey to discover his inner-truth. He has one foot in the reality-based community and one foot in a fantasy world. But the first step in leaving the “ex-gay” charade behind is admitting that the programs do not work.

It is never easy for one to acknowledge being wrong, especially after decades of investing mentally, spiritually and financially in a big lie. I wish Smid the best of luck on his continued evolution and am grateful that he is beginning to honestly discuss the limitations of “ex-gay” programs.

Smid’s timing is exquisite because desperate GOP presidential candidates are pandering to the Religious Right by touting the “ex-gay” myth. For example, on ABC’s The View Herman Cain said that he thought homosexuality was a “choice.” The ever-gay-bashing Rick Santorum also jumped on the “ex-gay” bandwagon falsely claiming there is credible evidence that say LGBT people can change from gay to straight: “There are all sorts of studies out there that suggest just the contrary,” Santorum stated. “And there are people who were gay, and lived the gay lifestyle, and aren’t anymore.”

Additionally, there are junk science peddlers such as Regent University’s Mark Yarhouse who produces bogus studies that claim that sexual orientation change is possible. I strongly suggest these crass political operatives stop the propaganda long enough to listen to Smid.

But, of course, that would require putting peoples’ lives ahead of political lies – so don’t expect this to happen anytime soon.

John Smid has been evolving in his public views of homosexuality ever since he stepped down as the leader of Love In Action in Memphis. He began apologizing last year, which was welcome news for many, but we at Truth Wins Out remained understandably skeptical, waiting to see whether the “evolution” would continue. It would seem that it is. He’s not all the way there yet, but in a post on the blog for his ministry, picked up by Ex-Gay Watch, Smid has a lot to say:

So often people will say someone needs to “repent” from homosexuality. It is something that actually cannot be repented of! People are, or they are not, homosexual. It is an intrinsic part of their being or personally, my being. One cannot repent of something that is unchangeable. I have gone through a tremendous amount of grief over the many years that I spoke of change, repentance, reorientation and such, when, barring some kind of miracle, none of this can occur with homosexuality.

Wow. He admits it. Now, of course, the Religious Right, which props up the “ex-gay” industry in order to show how much they love gay people, will not accept this, because it has never been about individual people with them, but rather about their narrative.

Yes, there are homosexuals that make dramatic changes in their lives as they walk through the transformation process with Jesus. I have heard story after story of changes that have occurred as men and women find the grace of God in their lives as homosexual people. But, I’m sorry, this transformation process may not meet the expectations of many Christians. I also want to reiterate here that the transformation for the vast majority of homosexuals will not include a change of sexual orientation. Actually I’ve never met a man who experienced a change from homosexual to heterosexual.

You hear that, Porno Pete? He said never. The former leader of the flagship model of the “ex-gay” industry, who was there quite a long time, never met a man who changed from gay to straight. Here, John describes his own personal experience, but could pretty much be describing the experience of any fundamentalist Christian who has considered the question of homosexuality:

I have now gone around the world listening to Him, listening to the stories, seeing the tears of rejection in some, and the peace of God’s love in others. This is so different than I always thought in my small world of ex-gay ministry. And yes, it was a small world because I made it small. I was completely unwilling to hear anything that didn’t fit my paradigm. I blocked out anyone’s life story or biblical teaching that didn’t match up with what I believed.

I have often said on this blog, usually in a snarky way, that fundamentalists don’t live in reality, and that’s what this is about. When everything has to go through a filter of dogma and preconceived notions in order to be accepted as true or untrue, you end up believing quite silly things indeed. See also: Creationists.

This is just sad:

I stand to lose some very close friends because I have chosen to unconditionally love gay people and to support them now without pressuring them to “change.”

If you do, they weren’t your real friends in the first place, John. That’s something I learned when I came out twelve years ago.

Here is where he admits that he, himself, John Smid, is a homosexual:

I used to define homosexuality or heterosexuality in terms describing one’s behavior. I thought it made sense and through the years often wrote articles and talked from that perspective.

Today, I understand why the gay community had such an issue with my writings. My perspective denied so many facets of the homosexual experience. I minimized a person’s life to just their sexuality but homosexuality is much more than sex.

[...]

As to the question at hand, I would consider myself homosexual and yet in a marriage with a woman.

[...]

I am homosexual, my wife is heterosexual. This creates a unique marriage experience that many do not understand.

This is pretty big stuff. As I said, he’s not all the way there — still looking at sexuality in terms of sin and repentance and trying to decide whether a committed gay couple is any more “sinful” than a person who has been married five times — but he’s making serious progress, folks. I would encourage readers to check out Peterson Toscano’s comment on the subject, as well, as he sort of puts in perspective where this falls on the spectrum of “Smid’s evolving views.”

On May 29, 2005, 16-year-old Tennessee youth Zach Stark announced on his MySpace blog that he had come out to his parents, and that they had reacted with shock and grief.

Shortly thereafter — apparently after consulting with their church and Exodus International — Stark’s parents told him that there was something “psychologically wrong” with him, and that they had raised him wrong. As a result, they said, Zach would be involuntarily detained at Exodus International’s flagship residential ex-gay youth program, Love In Action/Refuge, for a minimum of two weeks of shame-based ex-gay therapy.

Six years later, Stark, his friends, and other LIA and Refuge program participants are now speaking out about their experiences in Morgan Jon Fox’s newly released documentary, This Is What Love In Action Looks Like.

Along with news of his impending detention, Stark in 2005 posted the Refuge program’s hypocritical, draconian, and stereotype-plagued rulebook for program participants.

Friends of Zach read his blog and were alarmed by the shame and fear to which he would be subjected. Utilizing then-nascent social media, they mobilized a viral campaign of parents, youths, doctors, and counselors who affirmed dignity, unconditional love, and faith in the youths who were being detained and shamed by Exodus International.

Stark’s detention was subsequently extended from two weeks to eight, and during that time Exodus’ alleged mistreatment of youths drew national attention through the New York Times, CNN, and Montel Williams’ daytime talk show. The state of Tennessee soon sought to intervene on behalf of the abused youths, only to be pushed back by politicians and by Exodus’ assertions that parents have a religious right to “minister” to youths in this fashion.

At the end of Stark’s initial ordeal, I wrote that it was time to give Stark privacy to recover, regroup, and choose how to move on.

In the years since, Stark has built an apparently healthy life as a young adult and college student, grateful that his friends and allies were so “awesome” in affirming and supporting him and other detained youths.

In fact, the title of the documentary is not so much an ironic reflection upon LIA’s name and abusive environment, as it is a reflection of the love which mobilized hundreds of people in 2005 to rally for the detained youths, remind them that they are loved, and reassure them that Exodus’ shame and fear were undeserved.

Besides Stark, the documentary catches up with Lance Carroll, who was age 17 when he was detained in LIA at the same time as Stark, and Brandon Tidwell, who in his early twenties had voluntarily attended LIA but later joined Stark’s friends in the 2005 protests.

The un-narrated documentary allows Stark, Carroll, and Tidwell to recount their experiences entirely in their own words. Their recollections stand in sharp contrast against the rosy public assurances of Exodus president Alan Chambers to a skeptical and increasingly annoyed Montel Williams. The documentary also tracks the evolution of former LIA executive director John J. Smid from hard-core ex-gay activist in 2005, into an apologetic man who, while still advocating ex-gay as well as gay-affirming counseling, today acknowledges love  and faith in LGBT communities.

Veteran ex-gay survivor Peterson Toscano provides context for documentary viewers who might be unfamiliar with ex-gay beliefs, tactics, and self-contradictions. Meanwhile, Stark’s Tennessee friends and allies — writer Chris Davis, Queer Action Coalition co-founders Morgan Jon Fox and Janessa Williams, community organizer Janelle Treibitz, blogger E.J. Friedman, and friends Eileen Townsend and Jake Casey  – all offer a rich tapestry of memories and lessons learned from their campaign to support Stark.

While the motivations of Stark’s personal friends to stand by him may be self-evident, Davis explains how — as a parent — he was drawn to the campaign by his revulsion at the sight of parents and amateur preachers practicing “shame therapy” against children. Mental-health experts chime in with recollections of past harm committed by therapists in the 1960s before the mental-health community understood orientation and sexual identity, and these experts note that today’s ex-gay movement reflects an ongoing refusal to learn from decades’ worth of new facts. True to form, and despite all facts to the contrary, LIA spokesman Gerard Wellman tells us (in archival media clips) that homosexuality is about shameful sex acts, not romantic emotion, orientation, or biology — and that Christianity is all about managing “sinful” desires, and not so much about charity, grace, justice, or unconditional love.

Exodus’ method of managing clients’ desires should raise alarm, even among conservatives:

Carroll and Tidwell share vivid memories of Exodus’ “moral inventory,” a process by which LIA clients are forced to share with an audience the graphic details of their worst sexual experience. Instead of forgiveness or grace, the audience responds by reinforcing the youths’ humiliation.  Carroll came away from LIA feeling “not safe”; instead, LIA was “very controlling and intrusive.” Carroll’s parents learned from Exodus to carry on the shame at home — resulting eventually in physical outbursts by his mother, and his departure.

Today, Carroll and Treibitz emphasize that they would have no strong objection to a conservative adult freely choosing to attend an ex-gay program — but they draw the line when parents seek to subject youths to a program of involuntary abuse in which shame and fear are presented as the only choice.

Changed by his exposure to the respectful and affirming tone of the protests, director Smid left LIA in 2008. Smid says he came to realize that his religious calling — outreach to the LGBT community — was not congruent with LIA and its churches’ implicit determination to ostracize and shame gay people.

LIA is still in operation today, although the Refuge youth program closed in 2007; LIA’s remnants have moved to smaller facilities. Exodus, meanwhile, appears to have learned nothing. The organization still blames parents for their children’s sexual orientation, even as it tricks the same parents into surrendering their kids to parent-bashing amateur counselors. The documentary notes that Exodus is actually expanding its efforts over the next couple years to shame and detain youths as young as 12 through its church network and renamed “student ministry.” Exodus officials declined to speak with the documentary producers.

Carroll credits the love-based protest for helping him survive his ordeal, and Davis voices confidence that, while Exodus continues to abuse, other Christians are moving past shame as a method of evangelism and social change.

Screenings of This Is What Love In Action Looks Like are scheduled in the eastern and southern United States:

• August 27 at SHOUT, the Birmingham LGBT Film Fest
• September 10 at the Austin Gay & Lesbian Film Festival
• September 20 at ReRun Theatre, in New York City
• September 29-October 6 at OUT ON FILM, the Atlanta LGBT Film Festival
• November 4 at Indie Memphis Film Festival
• November 3-12 at REELING, the Chicago LGBT Film Festival

Related links:

This Is What Love In Action Looks Like on Facebook

This Is What Love In Action Looks Like blog

The filmmaker’s website

Disclosure: Truth Wins Out volunteer writer/cartoonist Bruce Garrett is, independent of TWO, an associate producer for this film. Lance Carroll assists Truth Wins Out in educating the public about the survivors of ex-gay “therapy.”

Activist and Author Wayne Besen To Be Joined By Married Gay Couple Who Met at Notorious Memphis Ex-Gay Ministry

Patrick McAlvey, Survivor of Ex-Gay Ministers Bizarre Sexual Therapy to Speak

MEMPHIS, Tenn. – Truth Wins Out founder Wayne Besen will end a twelve-city speaking tour in Memphis highlighting the harm caused by programs that claim to turn gay people straight through prayer and therapy. Besen chose Memphis as his final stop because Exodus International’s flagship ministry, Love In Action, is based here. The multi-media presentation will take place at 7PM at Rhodes College, Room FJ-B.

KC and Larry Jansson will join Besen to share how they met at Love in Action while trying to “pray away the gay”. The two men fell in love and are now legally married. The Jansson’s story was featured recently in the Dallas Voice’s Valentine’s Day issue.

Patrick McAlvey (video below)will also appear on-stage to discuss how his “ex-gay” counselor in Lansing, MI used inappropriate sexual techniques during his therapy. As a result, his counselor was expelled from a network of such programs.

“The message of this tour is that you can’t ‘pray away the gay’ and LGBT people are fine just the way they are,” said Wayne Besen, founder of Truth Wins Out. “In Memphis, we will spotlight the stories of brave individuals who are living proof that these groups are fraudulent and sometimes dangerous”

Truth Wins Out’s Winter Tour has included: Chicago, Illinois; Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Minneapolis, Minnesota; Fargo, North Dakota; Moorhead, Minnesota; Des Moines, Iowa; Lincoln, Nebraska; Stillwater, Oklahoma; Oklahoma City, Oklahoma; Tuscaloosa, Alabama, Montgomery, Alabama; and Memphis, Tennessee

Besen’s multi-media presentation offers a unique, innovative and entertaining look behind the mask of so-called “ex-gay” programs. Besen is the author of two books including the critically acclaimed, “Anything But Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth”. He is also noted for photographing “ex-gay” poster boy John Paulk in a gay bar in Washington, DC and helping expose the late Rev. Jerry Falwell’s personal “ex-gay” activist Michael Johnston as a fraud.

“This tour hopes to educate people in an exciting and memorable way,” said Besen, who has spoken at more than 100 leading universities, community organizations, business groups and religious institutions.

During his hour and a half show, Besen takes the audience on a whirlwind tour of “ex-gay” programs. Audiences will learn the history of these groups, the bizarre techniques they use, and the political players that finance these ignoble efforts.

In 2009, Besen was noted in Instinct Magazine’s “Leading Men” issue. In 2006, he was recognized in the Advocate Magazine’s “People of the Year” issue. Besen has appeared as a guest on leading news and political talk shows including: The Rachel Maddow Show, NBC Nightly News, The O’Reilly Factor, Hannity and Colmes, and The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. He has been quoted in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, The Washington Post, Rolling Stone and the Advocate Magazine.

For additional information, please visit www.TruthWinsOut.org.