In Biblical times — and in some traditional cultures today — lipstick and knee-length skirts were unseemly indications that a woman was seeking to please men in certain ways at the expense of her own dignity and health.

Women have progressed somewhat since then: Modern women define femininity in ways that value strength of character, not superficiality, dependency, or subservience.

Unfortunately, top ex-gay activists at Exodus and Focus on the Family seem to show little respect for strong and independent women. They either ignore the needs of women in their “ministry” scams, or they use pseudo-scientific quackery and harsh rules to make women conform to the sort of dignity-defying and unhealthful role-playing that was once condemned.

The ex-gay movement battles femininity — not only among same-sex-attracted women, but also among men (both straight and gay) who do not fit right-wing stereotypes of masculinity.

On Aug. 7, two female former ex-gays — Darlene Bogle and Christine Bakke (pictured) — will share their experiences as lesbians in the ex-gay movement: (Read More)

(Ensley, left, Doesn’t Read Exodus’ Website)

Poor Mike Ensley. Next time he debates in a mainstream venue he needs to read the Exodus website. He was totally unprepared for the Alan Colmes Show and spent much of the debate denying undeniable facts, squirming or disavowing quotes made by his loose cannon boss, Alan Chambers. He claimed that the host, Alan Colmes, and I were taking words out of context or making things up - but the problem is, the proof is on the Exodus website or part of the historical record.

Sorry Mike, but if you are going to speak to people who have not been brainwashed, at least do your homework. I know it must be difficult to defend the scientifically bankrupt “What to Do When Your Child is Gay” or argue that Exodus does not believe gays are evil or demon possessed, when your organization promotes spiritual warfare.

The cold facts can be stubborn and unforgiving.

Here is my message to Mike: If you are too preoccupied to know your topic and what the organization you work for actually represents - just tell the truth. It is amazing how easy interviews are when you believe in what you are saying and can speak with a clear conscience. When you ultimately leave Exodus, Mike, you will finally understand this simple truth.

Finally, Mike, the GLBT community will be here for you if and when you are ready to come out. We will show you the unconditional love and support that you will never find at Exodus. And, the best part is - when you do interviews with the media, you won’t have to remember the lies you told before the commercial break.

The blog The Lesbian Said What? wrote a point-by-point commentary on May 21 about the strawman arguments and ludicrous stereotypes that are taught by Christine Sneeringer, director of the Exodus ministry “Worthy Creations.” Sneeringer authored the widely circulated antigay essay, “Did God Make Me Gay?”

The commentary on Sneeringer’s essay is direct but polite.

There are lesbians who have been sexually abused. There are straight women who have been sexually abused. Not all lesbians were sexually abused. And the majority of lesbians that were sexually abused would have been lesbians whether they had been abused or not, because that’s who they are: lesbians. [After being raped,] Christine found safety, comfort and warmth in the arms of women as a coping mechanism; some women turn to alcohol or drugs or food to cope with these feelings. Christine is not a lesbian, she is a heterosexual woman. What makes a more interesting Christian testimony, saying that you were a lesbian and “saved,” or saying that you were sexually abused and found healing through God?

Ultimately, Sneeringer comes across as someone who distorts and embellishes her journey away from abuse, while turning real gay and lesbian persons into cookie-cutter caricatures.

In an Apr. 23 column in the Cherry Creek (Colorado) News, the Rev. Rebecca Kemper Poos recalls how her church’s Christian ceremony for a female couple’s daughter gave a glimpse of true hope to an ex-gay woman named Rachel.

The church and the ceremony also offered Rachel a taste of freedom:

Freedom from fear of damnation, freedom from self-contradiction, freedom from isolation, freedom from prejudice, freedom from judgmentalism, and freedom to be a good mother to her kids.

In other words, they offered Rachel freedom to love and be loved.

Ex-gay activists from Exodus, Focus on the Family and their political co-warriors often talk vaguely about “freedom” — freedom from love, freedom from sexuality, freedom from non-judgmental faith, freedom from having gay neighbors and co-workers. For example, also on Apr. 23, Baptist Press — steered by ex-gay Southern Baptist strategist Bob Stith — launched a series of columns “focusing particularly on the freedom that former homosexuals have found in Christ.”

Ex-gays like Rachel, and former ex-gays, have learned from experience that talk is cheap — that ex-gay ideology is neither hopeful nor freeing.

Whatever their religion or creed, gay-affirming people of faith can offer ex-gays true personal and spiritual freedom — not mere talk.

The Maryland pro-tolerance parent-faculty group Teach The Facts launches a thoughtful discussion of research into sexual fluidity among some women.

Various researchers, among them Dr. Lisa Diamond in Sexual Fluidity - Understanding Women’s Love and Desire, have asserted that sexual orientation in some women naturally drifts in both directions: from heterosexual to homosexual or vice versa. In other words, some women are naturally attracted to attributes other than a given person’s gender characteristics. Such fluidity appears to be extremely uncommon among men.

The TTF blog compares intelligent analysis of sexual fluidity and bisexuality with the ideological rigidity and deception of Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays, an advocacy group which baselessly asserts that same-gender attraction is rooted in bad parenting or abuse rather than natural impulses; that all people can change; that change occurs by choice, not nature; and that change only occurs one way — from homosexual to heterosexual.