Nice.

Because if you spend your life fighting against gay people, you’re probably gay.

Studies show.

Love,

Craig Ferguson

(h/t Joe.My.God)

Dr. George Rekers: Stephen Colbert’s Alpha Dog of the Week.

I’m warning you now, you can’t unsee this.

(h/t Allison Kilkenny)

I like when the shouty beardaddy pastor starts yelling for the crowd to do the Hokey Pokey “by faith.” I wasn’t aware there was any other way to do it.

This is just funny:

Social conservatives — abortion foes, gay marriage opponents, transgender rights critics — may sit out the 2010 election, a Massachusetts hard-line conservative activist said Tuesday, arguing that no statewide candidates for office have championed their views.

Brian Camenker, executive director of MassResistance, which pointedly opposes gay and transgender rights, said he hopes social conservatives punish the Republican Party by staying home in November, and he singled out Republican gubernatorial nominee Charles Baker as “tone deaf” on social issues.

“He thinks he can just be Bill Weld again and that’ going to work,” said Camenker, referring to the Republican governor elected in 1990 on a platform that largely eschewed divisive social issues. “It’ not going to be as effective as it used to be. I don’t think he gets it. I don’t think he understands the passion of people on this issue.”

Social conservatives, who typically identify more closely with Republican candidates in Massachusetts, are conflicted this year, with a gubernatorial race that features three major candidates — a Democrat, a Republican and an Independent — who agree on the validity of gay marriage and the right of pregnant women to choose whether to have an abortion.

You can laugh, because it’s funny. Do you remember how five minutes ago, they were all gleefully teabagging themselves over Scott Brown? And then, once he took office, he started voting with Democrats? And now, the poor dears at SPLC-certified hate group MassResistance have to contend with the fact that, literally, no one running for the highest office in Massachusetts cares what they think.

Again, you can laugh. I certainly am. It’s a beautiful day in the ever more culturally liberal United States when bigots go to the voting booth and find that no one’s on their side.

(h/t Right Wing Watch)

Bryan Safi takes on the story of Constance McMillen in his latest episode of “That’s Gay.”

Enjoy.

Without further ado, and inspired by the hilarity of the Vatican blaming child rape on gays (funny, since gays, and liberals in general, are the ones exposing these scandals most consistently and most thoroughly), Ranker made a list of the seven craziest things blamed on gays. Numbers one and two are Catholic child rape and 9/11, and you’ll have to click the clicky to read the rest. But the entire piece can be summed up in one sentence from entry number four:

It seems that fundamentalists blame that which they don’t accept or understand (science) on other things they don’t accept or understand (homosexuality).

Yep yep yep! All religious fundamentalists do this, be they Catholic, Protestant, Muslim, or whatever else. Because they’re fundamentally incurious people, and because many of them actually believe that their worldview, however insane and discredited, is correct, things that don’t easily fit, like science, gays, magnets (how do THEY work?) and rainbows have to be awkwardly explained within the confines of their beliefs. The results are absurd.

Things that they don’t like are blamed on gays, blacks, feminists, liberals, Yurp, etc., while things they do like are attributed to, yes, miracles.

(h/t Good-As-You)

Or, as the guy who originally posted this said, “You know you’re a bunch of assholes when…”

(h/t Pharyngula)

Of course not, silly! They don’t care about child rape victims!

The Onion, however, nails it here:

VATICAN CITY—Calling the behavior shameful, sinful, and much more frequent than the Vatican was comfortable with, Pope Benedict XVI vowed this week to bring the widespread pedophilia within the Roman Catholic Church down to a more manageable level.

Addressing thousands gathered at St. Peter’s Square on Easter Sunday, the pontiff offered his “most humble apologies” to abuse victims, and pledged to reduce the total number of molestations by 60 percent over the next five years.

“This is absolutely unacceptable,” Pope Benedict said. “It seems a weakening of faith in God has prevented our priests from exercising moderation when sexually abusing helpless minors.”

“And let me remind our clergy of the holy vows they all took when they entered the priesthood,” he continued. “They should know that they’re only allowed one small child every other month.”

Moderation, you guys!

(h/t Amanda Marcotte)

It was, of course, on South Park a while back. Jesus comes back and reprimands the Pope and Bill Donohue for, you know, screwing everything up (prescient, Trey and Matt, prescient), and Donohue has them both arrested.

He would. It’s particularly appropriate right now since it’s Holy Week for Christians and since Bill Donohue has been embarrassing himself and his church all over the teevee a lot lately.

(h/t Joe Sudbay)