TWO’s Executive Director, Wayne Besen, was in San Diego last week to join nationally recognized gay and lesbian advocates to oppose Exodus International’s “ex-gay” road show, Love Won Out, which took place in La Mesa’s Skyline Church on Saturday.
On the same day as the Exodus event, a counter-conference was held, Just Love, which exposed the ex-gay industry and educated people about the lives of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people. Just Love took place at St. Paul’s Episcopal Cathedral.
“We thank Rev. Canon Albert Ogle (pictured) and Mike Tidmus for their outstanding leadership in organizing a terrific forum,” said TWO’s Besen. “As a result of their hard work, we were able to educate and inform people about our lives as LGBT Americans.”
The San Diego Union Tribune covered the dueling events. (Although they misquoted me saying the word “lifestyle”, which I would never say.)
Truth Wins Out also held its first San Diego fundraiser on Friday at the lovely home of Bryan H. Wildenthal and Ashish Agrawal. Best selling author of The Front Runner, Patricia Nell Warren, (Pictured Left) was joined by TWO Founder Wayne Besen at the event, which raised more than $1,600.
“We thank Bryan and Ashish for a wonderful event and a memorable evening,” said TWO’s Besen. “Their generosity and commitment to our work allowed TWO to speak out against the ex-gay myth in San Diego and help educate people about these dangerous programs.”
If you are interested in hosting a fundraising event for Truth Wins Out, please contact the organization at wbesen@truthwinsout.org.
Even before he officially leaves Focus on the Family, James Dobson has vindictively started a rival organization and radio show with his son Ryan, who runs KOR World Ministries.
Focus on the Family is trying to put a happy spin on the situation, but we all know this is not good news for the long-time right wing behemoth.
“He has the chance to share his life’s work and passion with his only son,” Jim Daly, president and CEO of Focus, said in a statement congratulating Dobson on his new venture. “What man wouldn’t choose to do that?”
Focus on the Family has long been a cult of personality, based on the name recognition of James Dobson. Clearly, his move will siphon off many of this organization’s followers, potentially placing jobs at risk in a time of economic recession.
Focus on the Family already announced mass layoffs in Sept. 2009. Additionally, in a cost-cutting measure, the group recently pawned its “ex-gay” roadshow, Love Won Out, to Exodus International. How will Dobson’s move help Focus on the Family recover?
There are many ways to describe James Dobson, but “loyal” is clearly not one of them.
I predict that Dobson’s new venture will be even more hard core than Focus on the Family. He will have fewer constraints and will use it as a platform to spew anti-gay views and promote anachronistic ideas.
We had hoped to throw him a retirement party. I guess we can officially put away the confetti.
While 2009 will be remembered for the worldwide economic recession, for the ex-gay industry, it will be known as The Great Moral Depression. It was a dreadful year for such programs, as they showed themselves to be a global menace run by reprobates, such as Exodus’ Randy Thomas and Alan Chambers, who combined a dangerous dose of arrogance and incompetence. Much like the Roman Catholic Church, these men ignored a credible allegation of abuse for more than six months and engaged in a dangerous game of denial.
Whatever shard of credibility this industry had was stripped away in 2009. It was a year where such programs were harshly rebuked by the mental health establishment. An important new study showed that their retrograde methods of shame and blame harmed LGBT people. The old, outdated research that they stubbornly latched onto for dear life seemed to betray them and then vanish into thin air.
Several “ex-gay” heroes turned out to be zeros and slithered away into the mist. The past 12 months, if anything, unmasked the facade of “love” this industry cynically showers on potential clients and an often gullible media. In 2009, the world saw ex-gay programs for what they are: A sugar coated excuse for homophobia.
Exodus was revealed as a front for international hate groups, who used the group’s credulous leaders as pawns in an international struggle for theocracy. PFOX stepped forward and showed, time and again, that it was just plain nuts.
NARTH put out an embarrassingly shoddy “study” that was so pathetic it was virtually ignored by the media. By the end of 2009, NARTH had solidified its place as a cabal of embittered and irrelevant quacks on the far outer fringes of psychology. Homosexuals Anonymous was, well, anonymous. The Catholic ex-gay group Courage also had a meager profile and had little impact on popular culture. And, JONAH, the Jewish ex-gay group, continued to humiliate itself through its affiliation with crackpot Born Again sexual reorientation coach Richard Cohen.
May 2010 bring the same abundance of truth and light regarding the ex-gay fraud we had in 2009. Here are the Top 10 ex-gay related stories of the year. Please feel free to comment on any major items I may have missed.
10) The Passing of The Old Guard
Focus on the Family co-founder James Dobson announced that he was stepping down. He was an arch-homophobe who once claimed allowing gay people to marry would end the earth. Under Dobson’s leadership, this mega-ministry started the ex-gay roadshow Love Won Out. Dobson’s retirement represents the winding down of the old guard. This includes the passing of other ex-gay proponents or anti-gay preachers such as Rev. Jerry Falwell, D. James Kennedy and Oral Roberts. A new generation of Evangelicals will hopefully join the reality-based community and break with the past. However, there is reason to be skeptical, considering the leader of the pack is Rick Warren, who isn’t too much better than his predecessors.
9) The Fizzling Out of Michael Glatze and Stephen Bennett
Michael Glatze (left) was formerly co-editor of XY Magazine and YGA Magazine, publications directed at LGBT youth. He and his partner of ten years, Benjie Nycum, also co-authored the book XY Survival Guide.
Glatze’s ventures went belly-up and he seemed to disappear from LGBT activism. He reemerged in July 2007 with a disgusting op-ed on the extremist website WorldNetDaily, where he announced he was “ex-gay” (although he had no experience with women)
Glatze alleged sexual conversion seems, in part, to have come from a sort-of nervous breakdown. He reported that he suffered from frequent panic attacks and that he obsessed about death.
In late September, Glatze contacted me, hoping that I would interview him and reinvigorate his flagging career as an “ex-gay”. I refused to oblige his publicity stunt, and so did LGBT advocates at other sites.
Glatze’s downfall came when he opened an incoherent vanity blog and wrote:
“Have I mentioned lately how utterly *disgusting* Obama is? And, yes, it’s because he’s black. God, help us all….It’s a shame Obama is black. He could end up setting back race relations decades.”
Condemned for his idiotic comment about President Obama, Glatze sent out a rambling e-mail announcing his career as an ex-gay spokesperson had fizzled and he was retiring. Chalk Glatze up to a pitiful flash in the pan.
Similarly, 2009 was the year that big haired ex-gay activist Stephen Bennett (left) completely vanished from the scene. And, Anthony Falzarano’s (founder of PFOX) attempted return to the spotlight also petered out.
8) The Lisa Miller Kidnapping and Abduction Case
Lisa Miller broke up with partner Janet Jenkins (Right) after becoming a born again “ex-gay”. In a fit of holier-than-thou zeal, Miller went on the lam and absconded from Vermont with their child, Isabella, that the couple was raising together after having a Civil Union.
As a result of Miller’s poor parenting and criminal behavior (she was cited for contempt of court), a Vermont court transferred custody to Jenkins (after a five year legal ordeal that will surely leave emotional scars on their child Isabella) and refused a motion to delay transfer, as requested by Miller’s law team.
People for the American Way’s Right Wing Watch reports that the location of Miller and 7-year-old Isabella Miller are presently “unknown”. This is highly problematic because the court order takes effect on New Year’s Day.
Janet Jenkins filed a missing person report in Virginia on Wednesday in hopes of finding her 7-year-old daughter, according to her lawyer. Unfortunately, Miller’s outlaw behavior has been cheered on by ex-gay activists who want to pretend they are martyrs, rather than criminal miscreants.
7) The Caitlin Ryan Study
The January 2009 issue of Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics reported on a new study by San Francisco State researcher Caitlin Ryan. Her research concluded that, “Teens who experienced negative feedback (when they came out as LGBT) were more than eight times as likely to have attempted suicide, nearly six times as vulnerable to severe depression and more than three times at risk of drug use.”
This definitive study was hugely important because it contradicted the claim by “ex-gay” activists that homosexuality was the root cause of such problems. Indeed, it was ex-gay programs – the epitome of negative feedback – that led to the destruction of LGBT people.
Exodus International officially cut ties with its Lansing affiliate Corduroy Stone after charges were made by an ex-gay survivor that the sessions included harmful and bizarre therapy.
In August, Patrick McAlvey made the charges against Corduroy Stone’s Mike Jones in a Truth Wins Out video. At the age of 19, McAlvey, who came from a religious background, was terrified that he might be gay. Feeling vulnerable and desperate to change, he placed his trust in Mike Jones and Corduroy Stone.
“He asked how large my penis was,” McAlvey explained of Jones’ therapy. “He asked if I shave my pubic hair. He asked what type of underwear that I wore.
He wanted me to describe my sexual fantasies to him and the type of men I’m attracted to. On one occasion, he asked me to take my shirt off and show him how many push-ups I could do, which I did not do.”
Tragically, it took Exodus until December to take action and cut ties with this renegade ministry. Exodus’ dithering in the face of scandal cost precious time and may have placed additional youth in harm’s way. This was a key episode in 2009 because it underscored how Exodus has little control over its satellite ministries and each one is an independent fiefdom with its own rules and techniques. Exodus is no more than a Wild West and an unprofessional hodgepodge of fundamentalist pop-psychology combined with spiritual warfare and efforts to pray away the gay.
5) Ex-Gay Charlatan Matthew C. Manning Unmasked As A Fraud
A report by the website, “Ex-Gay Watch” cast a dark cloud of skepticism over “ex-gay” activist Matthew Manning’s tale of being “delivered” from homosexuality and AIDS. According to the report, Manning has been repeatedly dragged into court for allegations of inappropriate behavior and was even banned from a popular gym after improper sexual advances were made on a 22-year-old heterosexual male. Manning, a frequent television guest and the founder of Lighthouse World Evangelism Inc., based in Santa Rosa, California, has yet to comment on the allegations made in the investigative report.
It was announced that both “ex-gay” organizations Love Won Out and Exodus will merge, which begs the question, is one better than two?
Love Won Out is the brain child of right wing evangelical “leader” James Dobson. Dobson has a long history of over thirty years of anti-gay rhetoric, which started in 1977 with the inception of Focus on the Family. He then formed the organization Family Research Council 1981 which attempts to imposed its right wing evangelical Christian views in government, politics,and law making.
Exodus is also a right wing evangelical organization that was founded in 1976. Since its formation Exodus has been marred with controversy. Exodus was founded by five alleged “ex-gay” men, two of which (Gary Busse and Michael Cooper) later left the organization, reneged their prior claims, and announced their love for each other. In more recent years another controversy emerged when John Paulk, a self proclaimed “ex-gay” and Exodus chairman, was caught by Wayne Besen in a Washington DC gay bar in 2000. This came after years of Paulk attesting to be “cured” from his former “gay life”. This proved to be a huge embarrassment to Exodus, contradicting years of claims preaching just the opposite. Paulk was removed and relieved of his duties with the organization.
Interestingly enough Paulk is also connected with James Dobson, as they co-founded the organization Love Won Out in 1998, a subsidiary of Focus on the Family, to specifically address and promote an “ex-gay” agenda.
Exodus and Love Won Out work to the detriment of the GLBT community as they promote conversion and reparative therapy, claiming its effectiveness to change ones orientation. These claims are asserted without any empirical evidence or peer reviewed studies and at the condemnation of 13 medical and mental health organizations, including the American Medical Association (AMA) and the American Psychological Association (APA). These 13 organizations vehemently oppose reparative and conversion therapy and its damaging ways so much they actually formed the “Just the Facts coalition” which clearly states their disapproval of such actions and tactics.
www.apa.org/pi/lgbc/publications/justthefacts.pdf
This merger just reinforces the need to remain steadfast in our efforts to expose the “ex-gay” movement for what it really is, present facts and promote love and acceptance rather then shame and self loathing.
On Nov. 7th, Focus on the Family brought its absurd “ex-gay” roadshow Love Won Out to Birmingham Alabama. This is a conference that tries to help people “pray away the gay”. (Cue uproarious laughter)
Truth Wins Out joined several local groups in protest. More than 50 people greeted conference attendees as they entered the church parking lot. Movie star Glenn Shadix, who had once undergone shock therapy in a failed effort to become straight commented on Joe Openshaw’s blog about what he saw at the demonstration:
“An image that will always stay with me is that of a young teenager being driven by what seemed to be his parents, into The Metropolitan Church of God,” said Shadix. “He slowly raised his hand and, hidden from those in the front seat of the car, waved at us as he was driven into the all day seminar. His sad face haunts me. I have been there. My prayers are with him.”
Truth Wins Out joined The Alliance for GLBT Equality at UAB, Covenant Community Church, Equality Alabama Birmingham, Central Alabama Pride and PFLAG.
Special thanks to Bob Palmatier, Joe Openshaw and Rev. J.R. Finney (and many others) for a powerful action against the intolerance and bigotry of Focus on the Family.
The ex-gay “Love Won Out” roadshow has, since its inception, taught parents, clergy, and would-be “ex-gays” not to trust mainstream mental health professionals or mainstream science regarding sexual orientation.
Instead, LWO speakers use vague and mostly un-Biblical religious language, discredited claims, and misquotations of legitimate research to blame overmothering, absent fathering, and abuse — without exception — for homosexuality. LWO also denies the existence of sexual orientation as opposed to mere sexual temptation. The program stereotypes gay men as insufficiently masculine, lesbians as insufficiently feminine, and both as depressed sex addicts.
The solution, they say, is not mainstream psychiatric care; it’s a heavy dose of blame, political correctness, prayer, and acting-out of stereotypical masculine or feminine behavior.
In a promotion for its roadshow this weekend in Birmingham, Ala., Focus on the Family doesn’t deny Truth Wins Out’s allegation that ”Love Won Out tells young people and their families that they aren’t whole and that they should and can change – which isn’t true.”
Instead, activist Joe Dallas — who claims to be a former homosexual and writes books damning gay people of faith and their values — portrays himself as though he were a leader of an organization that ex-gays frequently condemn: the gay-affirming parents group PFLAG. According to Dallas, LWO does not teach parents to hate or coerce.
“Just the opposite,” he said. “We teach parents how important it is to love and care for their sons or daughters, no matter what choices they make.”
That sounds nice, but like so many statements by Focus on the Family, it’s a half-truth. Dallas teaches parents and pastors to believe prejudices about LGBT persons and to reject the plain truths spoken by these persons (and expert researchers) as if they were satanic deceptions. Dallas is neither tolerant nor respectful toward people of his same religion who disagree with his antigay prejudices and his sloppy, egocentric theology. He divides families according to his own political and religious agendas. And he uses the word “choice” to describe sexual orientation — a cruel hoax that is rejected even by some conservative Christian researchers. In short, Dallas defines “love and care” the way most sensible people define “hate and coerce.”
Meanwhile, his LWO colleague Melissa Fryrear says, “Moms and dads shouldn’t have to relinquish their religious convictions.” But she makes it clear that, given a choice between political and religious correctness and the health, welfare, and love of their children, parents should choose the former.
It is hateful to deliberately and persistently lie about the nature of sexual orientation in one’s relatives, as Dallas, Fryrear, and LWO teach parents to do. It is hateful to deliberately lie about the attractions, character, values, choices, and “lifestyle” of one’s relatives. And it is coercive to manipulate relatives by requiring them to conform to LWO stereotypes, stigmatizing relatives and their partners, and denying relatives full equality in religion, housing, employment, and public services.
Focus on the Family equates prejudice with love, and ignorant manipulation with care.
Wayne Besen, executive director of Truth Wins Out, will be on hand in Birmingham on Saturday to support local LGBT people and their affirming families and allies in protest against FOTF’s grotesque assault against family integrity and human dignity.
Evidence Suggests People Can’t ‘Pray Away The Gay’
By Wayne Besen
As long as prejudice and discrimination exist, some gay men and lesbians will feel pressure to try to change their sexual orientation. Unfortunately, there are organizations, such as Focus on the Family, that exploit such vulnerable people and their fears of rejection by family, church and society. On Saturday, Focus on the Family will roll into Birmingham with its much-hyped road show, “Love Won Out,” which offers false hope and broken promises.
It is important that one realize that such efforts are rejected by every mainstream medical and mental health organization in America, such as the American Medical Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics. The America Psychiatric Association says that attempts to change sexual orientation can cause, “Anxiety, depression and self-destructive behavior.”
In August, the American Psychological Association released a landmark report that said, “There is insufficient evidence” for therapists to claim conversion therapy works. The APA report also cautioned so-called “ex-gay” counselors not to mislead clients by telling them that their sexual orientation can be changed.
Without science on their side, Focus on the Family has taken to distorting research. In the past two years, eight scientists have accused this group of manipulating their studies. The testimonies of these experts can be viewed at www.Respectmyresearch.org.
The empirical evidence also suggests that people can’t “pray away the gay.” For example, I photographed the “ex-gay” founder of Love Won Out, John Paulk, in a Washington, DC gay bar in 2001. Two of the founders of Exodus International, Michael Bussee and Gary Cooper, divorced their wives after they fell in love. The American Family Association’s poster boy for sexual conversion, Michael Johnston, had to step down in 2003 after he admitted affairs with men he had met on the Internet. Christian singer Ray Boltz came out of the closet in 2008 after thirty years of marriage and trying to “change”.
Love Won Out does not create heterosexuals, but their misguided “ex-gay” programs do lead to broken families. Focus on the Family loves to show people wedding photos. But, it would be more honest if they showed the divorce papers, which are a common outcome of such sexual engineering efforts.
More disturbing are conversion techniques. These include exorcisms and encouraging masculinity in male clients by suggesting they drink Gatorade and call friends “dude”. Lesbians attend makeup and lipstick seminars, which highlight the superficial and cosmetic “changes” such programs offer. Sadly, these groups even take clients as young as three years old!
A recent study by Caitlin Ryan shows that gay teens who experienced “negative feedback” by family members after they “come out” were more than eight times as likely to have attempted suicide, nearly six times as vulnerable to severe depression and more than three times at risk of drug use. Clearly, unconditional love is important for gay teens and the message of Love Won Out epitomizes the negative feedback that can produce such harmful results.
Finally, Love Won Out’s spokesperson Melissa Fryrear was disingenuous when she told the Birmingham News this week that, “Science hasn’t proved people are born gay. It’s absolutely an open question. Part of the message is to read the studies that have been done. They’ll see there’s no evidence proving homosexuality is genetic. It’s a multi-causal struggle, and there are a number of factors that may make one vulnerable.”
It is unscientific and backwards to say that people are “vulnerable”, as if homosexuality can be caught like a cold. Most gay people – just like heterosexuals – instinctively know their sexual orientation is natural and that there was no “choice” in the matter. Conveniently, Fryrear misstates the facts and fails to point out that numerous studies have shown that sexual orientation likely has a genetic or biological basis.
However, there are no modern studies that show sexual abuse or poor parenting cause homosexuality, as Love Won Out falsely claims. While confusing parents by creating a fake cause and effect for homosexuality is good public relations, it simply is not true and dishonest for Fryrear to push such outdated and disproven theories.
Gay, lesbian, bisexual and trangender Americans come from every type of family imaginable. We grow up in liberal homes and conservative homes, non-religious and orthodox Christian families. How people are raised or if they believe in God has absolutely nothing to do with the outcome of their sexual orientation. This is just common sense supported by the hard and indisputable facts.
Love will truly win out when gay and lesbian people can live out of the closet with the unconditional acceptance, love and support they deserve.
Sun to Set On Focus on the Family’s Infamous ‘Pray Away The Gay’ Road Show
BIRMINGHAM – Truth Wins Out (TWO) announced today that its Founder, Wayne Besen, would speak on the dangers of the ‘ex-gay’ myth on Thursday (7PM) at the University of Alabama Birmingham. The UAB presentation coincides with Focus on the Family’s final Love Won Out conference, which they sold to Exodus International in the midst of financial trouble. TWO has worked with local gay advocates across the nation to stage protests against Love Won Out, and in 2000, Besen photographed its “ex-gay” organizer, John Paulk, in a Washington, DC gay bar.
The multi-media presentation is sponsored by UAB’s Office of the Vice President for Equity and Diversity, The Alliance for GLBT Equality at UAB, Equality Alabama Birmingham, Central Alabama Pride, Covenant Community Church and PFLAG.
The event will take place Thursday (7PM) at Hill University Center Alumni Auditorium, 1400 University Blvd. It’s on the NE corner of University & 14th Street S.
“The sun is setting on a dangerous program that has brought much darkness and pain to families across America,” said Wayne Besen, Founder and Executive Director of Truth Wins Out. “I look forward to sharing the history of misery and misinformation Love Won Out has brought to countless people. I hope to get out the facts and let gay and lesbian people know they are fine just the way they are.”
Throughout the week, Besen will join a coalition of Alabama gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender advocates responding to Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out conference, which encourages people to “pray away the gay.” This includes a protest at the “Love Won Out” conference at Metropolitan Church of God. The peaceful protest is planned on public right of way near the entrance of the church, which faces Interstate 459 near the Acton Road exit. (Read More)
Focus on the Family will shed its controversial Love Won Out program for transforming homosexuals into heterosexuals because of budget troubles, the conservative media ministry said Tuesday.
The Love Won Out conferences on “leaving homosexuality” will be handed over in November to a longtime ministry partner, Orlando, Fla.-based Exodus International.
“The economic challenges led us to this strategic decision,” Focus vice president Gary Schneeberger said Wednesday. “Love Won Out is not an inexpensive event to stage, and rarely, in over 50 cities where it’s been held, have we ever made back our investment, despite good attendance.”
Focus on the Family, which held its first Love Won Out conference in 1998, will lead its last on Nov. 7 in Birmingham, Ala. A $6 million shortfall in the $138 million budget also caused Focus president Jim Daly to send out a fundraising letter to 800,000 donors.
“Right now we’re facing a serious budget shortfall that threatens our ability to reach out to parents, families and married couples who count on our help,” Daly wrote. “I want to assure you we’re committed to good stewardship and living within our means, just as so many families are today.”
Schneeberger said one staff position will be eliminated and further cost-cutting measures are under consideration.
Wayne Besen, a gay activist with the group Truth Wins Out, said conference crowds are getting smaller and drawing less media attention.
“There is a shrinking market for their product,” Besen said. “This is a very positive development, because it shows Focus on the Family wants to get out of the ex-gay business — though not completely. But if this were something they were really vested in, they would have kept it in-house.”
Facing a $6 million budget shortfall, Focus on the Family is shifting control of its Love Won Out conference to an outside organization.
Exodus International, a group that claims people can overcome unwanted same-sex attractions with the help of its ministry, announced Tuesday it will take control of the program starting in November.
“Exodus is the ideal organization to transition Love Won Out to,” said Melissa Fryrear, director of Love Won Out. She noted that Focus on the Family and Exodus have been closely aligned for years.
That move comes at this time in part, Fryrear said, because Focus on the Family’s income is down $6 million from what was expected for this year.
The shortfall was recently cited in an e-mail appeal to donors.
Alan Chambers, director of Exodus, said his group is financially equipped to take over Love Won Out, but the move was in the making for years. Focus on the Family planned to provide financial support by providing speakers and marketing assistance.
Wayne Besen, a gay activist whose organization, Truth Wins Out, decries so-called “ex-gay” therapy, said he was not surprised at the development. He noted that Exodus “has acted as an unofficial subsidiary of Focus on the Family” for years.
“Focus on the Family claims that they are facing a $6 million shortfall,” he said. “If they can eliminate a few positions due to this change, it will benefit their bottom line. This is especially true, because we suspect that Love Won Out is slowly losing support as gay people gain more acceptance each year.
The crowds appear smaller and the road show has received less media coverage than it has in the past.
“If they are downsizing, it is because the market for such misinformation has continued to shrink.”
But Chambers said Love Won Out was coming to Exodus in part so it could be operated by a more narrowly focused organization.
With a gift of $35 to Truth Wins Out, you can receive an autographed copy of "Anything But Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth."
TWO’s Executive Director, Wayne Besen, was in San Diego last week to join nationally recognized gay and lesbian advocates to oppose Exodus International’s “ex-gay” road show, Love Won Out, which took place in La Mesa’s Skyline Church on Saturday.
Instead, activist Joe Dallas — who claims to be a former homosexual and writes books damning gay people of faith and their values — portrays himself as though he were a leader of an organization that ex-gays frequently condemn: the gay-affirming parents group PFLAG. According to Dallas, LWO does not teach parents to hate or coerce.
Meanwhile, his LWO colleague 
