I’m on my way to Grand Rapids, Michigan to give a presentation at Grand Valley State University on the harm caused by the “ex-gay” industry. My speech, followed by a panel discussion, is in response to Focus on the Family’s traveling road show, Love Won Out, which will be in town on Saturday. Having countered several of these conferences, I must confess, I still don’t understand what point they are trying to make.
If Focus on the Family’s goal is to convert gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people into evangelical Christians, they are doing a lousy job. It seems convincing gay people to end their relationships is a far higher priority to this ministry than having gay people develop personal relationships with Jesus Christ.
For every guilt-ridden homosexual who temporarily falls under their spell, they lose hundreds, if not thousands, of gay people who view their conversion program as intolerant. If your ministry causes many gay people to write off not just Christianity, but all religion, by what measurement can you consider your evangelizing a success?
At Love Won Out, speakers go to great lengths to profess their deep concern over the mental and physical well being of homosexuals. It turns out, however, that the anti-gay sentiment expressed at these conferences may be hazardous to the health of GLBT people.
A new Emory University study concludes that the bans on same-sex marriage pushed by Focus on the Family can be tied to a rise in the rate of HIV infection. The scientists found that a constitutional ban on marriage equality raised the rate by four cases per 100,000 people.
“We found the effects of tolerance for gays on HIV to be statistically significant and robust, they hold up under a range of empirical models,” says Hugo Mialon, an assistant professor of economics. “Intolerance is deadly,” Mialon said. “Bans on gay marriage codify intolerance, causing more gay people to shift to underground sexual behaviors that carry more risk.”
Earlier this year, a study by San Francisco State’s Caitlin Ryan concluded that “teens who experienced negative feedback (when they came out) were more than eight times as likely to have attempted suicide, nearly six times as vulnerable to severe depression and more than three times at risk of drug use.”
So, if Love Won Out is truly concerned about the health of gay people, particularly teenagers, it will transform into a gay affirming ministry. To continue down their destructive path of judgmental condemnation is senseless and significantly harmful to the very GLBT people that Focus purports to want to help.
Of course, Focus on the Family will insist that they love gay people and just want to help those who are unhappy. But, isn’t it a conflict of interest when you lobby to pass anti-gay laws that make gay people miserable and then offer yourself up as the panacea to the pain? Is it not hypocritical to sponsor a conference supposedly about love, where the main speaker is Alan Chambers, president of Exodus International?
Chambers hosts a Christian television show, Pure Passion, which pollutes the airwaves by repeatedly calling gay people “sexually broken” and “perverse.” Exodus also sells “Pursuing Sexual Wholeness” a book authored by Andy Comiskey that says, “Satan delights in homosexual perversion.” Such pronouncements are often accompanied by exorcisms given by churches affiliated with ex-gay ministries. Obviously, such extreme actions are anathema to creating a welcoming church environment for GLBT people.
Focus on the Family also claims its conferences are for parents, friends, family members or ministry leaders who want to “lovingly reach out with uncompromised faith.”
Genuine love, of course, requires making the very compromises and sacrifices that Love Won Out is telling people are unnecessary. Rejecting a friend or family member’s innate sexual orientation as sinful and defective, rarely leads to a healthy relationship based on trust and mutual respect.
Finally, the investigative reporter Thomas Maier just released a groundbreaking book, “Masters of Sex.” In it, he reveals that the famed sex research team, Masters and Johnson, had fabricated claims of curing gay people in their 1979 book, “Homosexuality in Perspective.” Given this vital new information, why hasn’t Focus on the Family taken the opportunity to review and question the validity of its program? Wouldn’t that be the moral course of action to take?
The hard truth is, Focus on the Family’s leaders are only capable of loving people exactly like themselves, which explains their tremendous efforts to remake gays in their image. While their splashy road show may get high marks for good theatre, it’s ultimately futile because their transparent version of “love” rarely wins converts and succeeds only at convincing most gay people to run out of the church door.
The gross hypocrisy and outright cynicism is difficult to believe.
Focus on the Family is bringing their notorious “ex-gay” road show, Love Won Out, to Grand Rapids, Michigan this week. In response, Grand Valley State University is hosting my presentation, followed by a panel discussion on the danger of ex-gay programs.
Focus on the Family is livid and demands that the panel include anti-gay Focus on the Family speaker Michael Brown. They are urging their huge mailing list to complain and bully university officials.
“The ‘Religion and Homophobia’ panel discussion seems awfully one-sided for an event sponsored by the school’s ‘inclusion and equity’ department,” wrote Gary Schneeberger, vice president of media and public relations at Focus on the Family.
Focus on the Family might be taken seriously if they had actually extended an invitation to gay advocates and pro-gay preachers to speak at Love Won Out. I’d be more than happy to present my slide show, “Pray Away The Gay” on Saturday, at the Focus on the Family event. I’d even bring along the original photograph I took of Love Won Out’ ex-gay founder, John Paulk, (pictured) fleeing a gay bar.
Unfortunately, no such invitation was forthcoming. It seems that Focus on the Family has a double standard when it comes to inclusion and diversity. They demand representation, yet do not have the decency, manners and common courtesy to extend an invitation of their own. And, they wonder why their assertions of “love” and “morality” are deemed politically motivated and insincere.
If you are encouraged that Grand Valley is offering this program — “Religion and Homophobia: Spiritual Violence in our Community” — then let the university know: 616-331-2221.
If you are in Michigan and would like to attend the panel, please visit www.TruthWinsOut.org for more information.
Exclusive Truth Wins Out interview with Thomas Maier
For decades, anti-gay organizations have gleefully pointed to Masters & Johnson’s 1979 book, “Homosexuality in Perspective”, that claimed to cure homosexuality. Indeed, Dr. William H. Masters and Virgina E. Johnson, the husband and wife sex research team, went on Meet the Press on Sunday, April 22, 1979, to discuss their finding that homosexuals could be converted into heterosexuals. The book has since been used by the so-called “ex-gay” industry to “prove” gays could go straight, if they just tried hard enough.
In his groundbreaking new book, “Masters of Sex”, author Thomas Maier discovered through investigative reporting that the results of Masters & Johnson’s study were entirely fabricated. Virginia Johnson acknowledged that the results were fake. She had actually argued in 1978 that book should never have seen the light of day – but it was already to late in the publishing process to undo the damage.
One can not overstate the importance of Maier’s findings. They undo the very underpinnings of the so-called “ex-gay” therapy movement, further showing that there is no scientific evidence or data to support the outdated idea that gay people can become heterosexual through therapy. Indeed, many people who have undergone such “treatment” claim the experience was harmful and that they were psychologically damaged. The American Psychiatric Association says that attempts to change sexual orientation can lead to “anxiety, depression and self-destructive behavior.”
TWO Thanks Grand Valley State For Terrific Event Discussing The “Ex-Gay” Industry
NEW YORK — Truth Wins Out thanked Grand Valley State University for hosting a top-notch event that evaluated the claims made by the “ex-gay” industry. In front of several hundred people, TWO’s Executive Director, Wayne Besen, spoke about the harm done by Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out conference, which will be in Grand Rapids on Saturday. Following his talk, he participated on a distinguished panel with local experts including:
• John Corvino, Wayne State University professor, author and lecturer;
‚Ä¢ Milt Ford, director of Grand Valley’ LGBT Resource Center;
• Judith Snow, Grand Rapids area forensic therapist and author;
• Doug Van Doren, pastor of Plymouth Congregational United Church of Christ;
• Josh Sleutel, GVSU student, previous reparative therapy patient.
Besen will take-part in a protest response to Love Won Out on Saturday, hosted by the National Organization of Women. ( June 13 at the Calder Plaza from noon-1pm)
“We thank Grand Valley State University, the LGBT resource center – and particularly Dr. Milt Ford and Colette Seguin Beighley – for organizing an amazing event that had a community-wide impact,” said Wayne Besen, Executive Director of Truth Wins Out. “I hope people in Grand Rapids will join me at the NOW protest on Saturday, so we can help the parents and children being targeted by Focus on the Family. Our participation in such events helps people come out and even saves lives.”
The actual legislation is available to read online: Senate Bill 909, and the recently passed House bill H.R. 1913.
The bills make penalties (sentences) that already exist under federal hate crimes available to be applied to those already convicted of existing crimes of felony violence. Until now, felony violence committed against heterosexual or homosexual persons has been sentenced less harshly under federal hate-crime law than violence committed on the basis of what the perpetrator assumes to be the race or religion of the victim. Both bills correct that injustice, by 1) ensuring that heterosexuals and homosexuals receive equal treatment, and 2) ensuring that when a perpetrator assaults a heterosexual person based on the perpetrator’s mistaken assumption that the victim is gay, the felony is not punished less harshly.
Instead of linking to or quoting the actual legislation, Focus on the Family falsely states that the legislation “would create a new class of crimes” and falsely states that the legislation punishes speech by antigay pastors.
Worse, Focus on the Family abandons any pretense (borrowed, perhaps from its “Love Won Out” ex-gay roadshow?) of loving same-sex-attracted persons. Focus equates same-sex-attracted victims of violent crime with pedophiles. Focus states:
Even more concerning, the legislation could create special protection for pedophiles.
Sexual orientation is already defined in law and in psychiatry as an attraction to men, women, or both — not to children. Focus on the Family falsely insinuates that sexual orientation can be interpreted as an attraction to children.
Those complicit in Focus’ declaration of hate against the victims of violent antigay crime included James Dobson; Focus’ top lobbyist Tom Minnery; Gary Bauer; Rep. Louie Gohmert, R-Tex.; and Rep. Steve King, R-Iowa.
It is an odd time to be gay in America. Whether you are celebrated or despised depends on where you stand at any given moment.
The most dramatic example of this dichotomy occurred on Sunday evening at the Academy Awards. To attend the glamorous event, one had to drive past anti-gay protesters shouting vile condemnations of homosexuality. Once inside, guests were treated to perhaps the most pro-gay Oscar extravaganza in history.
First, openly gay Dustin Lance Black won Best Original Screenplay for “Milk”. Black gave a moving acceptance speech to thunderous applause and told GLBT youth that they were “beautiful, wonderful creatures of value…no matter what anyone tells you.”
The icing on the cake was superstar Sean Penn’ remarks after winning an Oscar for his role as Harvey Milk.
“For those who saw the signs of hatred as our cars drove in tonight, and, I think that it is a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect and anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren’ eyes if they continue that way of support.”
The GLBT community has come a long way. It is now acceptable for top tier straight men to play gay roles without it negatively impacting their careers. This is no small achievement and we should be quite grateful to have obliterated this barrier that once seemed insurmountable. (Let’ not forget Tom Hanks who played a gay man with AIDS in Philadelphia.)
Before we sip the Champagne, we should remember that there is still an ongoing taboo against openly gay actors playing leading men in Hollywood. On the morning of the Oscars, the New York Times Magazine wrote a profile on actor Rupert Everett discussing the obstacles he faced as a result of coming out. The article spoke of the time he was turned down for a major movie role because of his sexual orientation. An MGM executive told his agent, “to all intents and purposes, a homosexual was a pervert in the eyes of America.”
Clearly, some glass ceilings still need to be shattered. It should be a major priority among GLBT activists to make sure this breakthrough in Hollywood comes to fruition.
Equally jarring was my experience in Charlotte, North Carolina this past week. My organization, Truth Wins Out, traveled there to counter Focus on the Family’ “Love Won Out” conference, where they teach people to “pray away the gay.”
On a beautiful Saturday morning, I broke away from our protest group to attend a seminar at Love Won Out. It was heartbreaking to see more young people than I ever had before at this traveling “ex-gay” road show. There was a cardboard sign that read “Youth Track”, and several teenagers — some that appeared not much older than 13 — were being taken inside by their desperate and confused parents.
Outside the conference were many dedicated local activists, such as Matt Comer, who organized our protest. Counter-protesters from Operation Save America greeted us. They preached that in 1973 the Lord turned against America. In this year, they said, God was angered by Roe v. Wade, the American Psychiatric Association removing homosexuality from its list of mental disorders and Israel’ war with the Arabs. Yeah — this is a bizarre conclusion to draw, but one that compelled about one dozen troglodytes to bring signs calling us “whoremongers.”
On the other side of town, the Human Rights Campaign held its annual North Carolina dinner. Much like those who attended the Academy Awards, attendees were greeted by belligerent Bible-thumpers who shouted Scripture into megaphones.
The dinner itself was an elegant affair that featured an excellent motivational speech by HRC Executive Director Joe Solmonese and a keynote address by Sen. Kay Hagen (D-NC). It was truly inspiring to hear Sen. Hagen, who occupied the seat once held by the notorious Jesse Helms. (R-NC).
The week ended with a hateful ad by The Policy Council of West Virginia, which compares same-sex marriage supporters to snipers targeting families. The more we progress, it seems the more our opponents regress and resort to shrill and bombastic attacks.
At any given moment, GLBT people are portrayed as either wonderful or wicked. While it is still painful to be put down, I can’t help but notice that when it counts — whether in Hollywood or Charlotte — it is we who are increasingly on the inside. While our opponents could win Oscars for their dramatic protest performances, they certainly can’t like the way the script is unfolding.
(Published In The Charlotte Observer, Feb. 21, 2009)
By Wayne Besen
As long as prejudice and discrimination exist, some gay men and lesbians will feel pressure to try to change their sexual orientation. Unfortunately, there are organizations, such as Focus on the Family, that exploit such vulnerable people and their fears of rejection by family, church and society. On Saturday, Focus on the Family will roll into town with its much-hyped road show, “Love Won Out,” which offers false hope and broken promises.
It is important that one realize that such efforts are rejected by every mainstream medical and mental health organization in America, such as the American Psychological Association, American Medical Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics. The America Psychiatric Association says that attempts to change sexual orientation can cause, “Anxiety, depression and self-destructive behavior.”
Without science on their side, Focus on the Family has taken to distorting research. In the past two years, eight scientists have accused this group of manipulating their studies. The testimonies of these experts can be viewed at www.Respectmyresearch.org.
The empirical evidence also suggests that people can’t “pray away the gay.” For example, I photographed the “ex-gay” founder of Love Won Out, John Paulk, in a gay bar in 2001. Two of the founders of Exodus International, Michael Bussee and Gary Cooper, divorced their wives after they fell in love.
This week Truth Wins Out and Lambda Legal released a publication, “Ex-Gay & The Law,” to help victims of such “therapies” understand their legal rights. There is also the problem of broken families. Focus on the Family loves to show people wedding photos. But, it would be more honest if they showed the divorce papers, which are a common outcome of such sexual engineering efforts.
More disturbing are conversion techniques. These include exorcisms and encouraging masculinity in male clients by suggesting they drink Gatorade and call friends “dude”. Sadly, these groups even take clients as young as three years old!
A new study by Caitlin Ryan shows that gay teens who experienced “negative feedback” by family members were more than eight times as likely to have attempted suicide, nearly six times as vulnerable to severe depression and more than three times at risk of drug use. Clearly, Love Won Out is the very negative feedback that can produce such harmful results.
Love will truly win out when gay and lesbian people can live out of the closet with the unconditional acceptance, love and support they deserve.
Wayne Besen is the founder of Truth Wins Out (www.TruthWinsOut.org). He is also the author of “Anything But Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth.”
New Landmark Publication By Truth Wins Out and Lambda Legal Offers Legal Options To Those Hurt By Ex-Gay Programs
If You Have Been Harmed By ‘Ex-Gay’ Programs, ‘Ex-Gay & The Law’ Is For You
CHARLOTTE — Truth Wins Out and Lambda Legal released a landmark publication today, “Ex-Gay & The Law“, that aims to educate victims of “ex-gay” programs of their legal options. This work was inspired by the many people who have had their lives damaged by programs that seek to “pray away the gay” or use questionable counseling techniques.
“Ex-Gay & the Law helps survivors of ex-gay programs explore their legal rights if they believe they have been harmed,” said Wayne Besen, Executive Director of Truth Wins Out. “This groundbreaking publication offers practical legal advice so important questions can be answered.”
“We are pleased to help support this publication and to be a part of this effort,” said Hayley Gorenberg, Deputy Legal Director of Lambda Legal. “Groups that proclaim to ‘cure’ gay people of their sexual orientation lack any legitimate medical backing, cause harm, and sometimes operate unlawfully and unethically. If you have experienced any of the scenarios outlined in the last pages of ‘Ex-Gay & the Law‘, we welcome you to contact or Legal Help Desk.”
Each year, thousands of men and women enter “ex-gay” programs. Adolescents are even forced into these boot camps by their parents. While their stories differ, nearly all of these individuals have one thing in common: They are harmed by the traumatizing experience.
The American Psychiatric Association says, “The potential risks of ‘reparative therapy’ are great, including depression, anxiety and self destructive behavior.”
Ex-Gay & The Law was released at a press conference in Charlotte to counter Focus on the Family’s ex-gay Love Won Out conference. The Charlotte Rainbow Action Network for Equality (CRANE) hosted the event.
CRANE is a grassroots coalition of activists and community members working toward civil and social equality for Charlotte‘s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and intersex (LGBTQI) community.
Truth Wins Out is a non-profit organization that defends gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people from anti-gay lies. TWO also counters the “ex-gay” myth and educates America about gay life.
Lambda Legal is a national organization committed to achieving full regonition of the civil rights of lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transgender people and those with HIV through impact litigation, education and public policy work.
New Landmark Publication, “Ex-Gay & The Law’, Unveiled At Press Conference
CHARLOTTE — Truth Wins Out (TWO) announced today that it has joined a coalition of North Carolina gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender advocates responding to Focus on the Family’ Love Won Out conference, which encourages people to “pray away the gay.” Led by the Charlotte Rainbow Action Network for Equality (CRANE), there will be a week of educational events in Charlotte designed to get correct information to the public about the danger of ex-gay programs. The coalition will also offer honest and accurate depictions of the lives of GLBT people, to counteract the distorted view offered by Focus on the Family.
“The research is very clear that you can’t pray away the gay and attempts to do so can be harmful,” said Wayne Besen, Executive Director of Truth Wins Out. “Focus on the Family is offering false hope to vulnerable people and profiting from their pain. They are intentionally confusing stereotypes with legitimate science in an attempt to mislead people about homosexuality. We hope to offer a realistic view of our lives and use sound science to set the record straight.”
The week’ events include a lecture by Besen on Thursday, Feb. 19, at the Lesbian & Gay Community Center (7:00-8:30 PM). On Friday, Feb. 20, there will be a press conference at the Unitarian-Universalist Church of Charlotte (11:30 AM). On Saturday, Feb. 21, there will be a non-violent protest against Love Won Out (11:00 AM-2:00 PM) in front of Central Church of God (5301 Sardis Road).
At the Friday press conference, Truth Wins Out and Lambda Legal will release a landmark publication, “Ex-Gay & The Law”, that aims to educate victims of “ex-gay” programs of their legal options. The many people who have had their lives damaged by ex-gay programs inspired this work.
“Ex-gay programs teach that homosexuality is demonic and “treat’ children as young as three years old,” said Besen. “What they do is dangerous, scientifically unsound and rejected by every respected medical and mental health association in America.”
CRANE is a grassroots coalition of activists and community members working toward civil and social equality for Charlotte’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and intersex (LGBTQI) community. Truth Wins Out is a non-profit organization that defends gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people from anti-gay lies. TWO also counters the “ex-gay” myth and educates America about gay life.
Thursday Evening Talk Will Dispel False Claims Made By Focus On the Family’ Love Won Out Conference
What: Wayne Besen, Executive Director of Truth Wins Out (TWO), will discuss the damage caused by programs that teach people to “pray away the gay”. The presentation will take place prior to Focus on the Family’ “ex-gay” road show, Love Won Out, which rolls into Charlotte on Saturday. Besen will address the history of ex-gay ministries; what the mental health experts say; the bizarre techniques used by these programs; why they are harmful and the political machine behind these dangerous groups.
Where: Lesbian & Gay Community Center, 820 Hamilton St., Charlotte NC
When: Thursday, Feb. 19, 7:00-8:30 PM
Background:The Charlotte Rainbow Action Network for Equality (CRANE) is sponsoring the lecture. CRANE is a grassroots coalition of activists and community members working toward civil and social equality for Charlotte’s lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and intersex (LGBTQI) community.
To educate the community about the harmful message of Love Won Out, CRANE will hold a press conference on Friday, Feb. 20, 11:30 AM. It will take place at the Unitarian-Universalist Church of Charlotte (234 N Sharon Amity Rd.) At the event, Truth Wins Out and Lambda Legal will unveil their new publication, “Ex-Gay & the Law,” which offers practical legal advice for victims of “ex-gay” therapies.
On Feb. 21, there will be a non-violent protest of Love Won Out, 11:00 AM-2:00 PM, in front of Central Church of God (5301 Sardis Road). The demonstration is open to all people and supporters of equality are encouraged to participate.
With a gift of $35 to Truth Wins Out, you can receive an autographed copy of "Anything But Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth."
Thursday Evening Talk Will Dispel False Claims Made By Focus On the Family’ Love Won Out Conference
