Truth Wins Out has discovered that Focus on the Family’s “ex-lesbian” activist Melissa Fryrear no longer works for Focus on the Family. She was one of the featured speakers at Focus on the Family’s Love Won Out conference. She is best remembered for her melodramatic, tear-filled presentation and for claiming that, “I never met one (gay) woman who had not been sexually violated or sexually threatened in her life. I never met one woman. And I never met one (gay) man either, that had not been sexually violated or sexually seduced in his life.”

Fryrear was also noted for discussing in great detail her transformation from luberjack-to-lipstick lesbian. According to Fryrear:

“During my years of restoration, I also began to learn about this thing called womanhood. Goodness! Who knew there was so much to learn: plucking eyebrows, hair bleaches, hair waxings, facial mud masks, eye lash curlers, manicures, pedicures, push-up bras, tummy tuckers, rear-end boosters, last year’ colors, and next year’ fashions?

I also began to learn about boys. Let me say that if anyone thinks puberty is tough at fifteen, try it in your thirties!”

This afternoon, I was was browsing Exodus International’s shiny, new Love Won Out website and noticed that Fryrear was not listed as one of the featured speakers. I called to see if she was still working at Focus on the Family and a receptionist confirmed that she was not. Her departure is recent, with her last identified as a Focus on the Family employee on March 30.

It appears that she may have been a victim of cutbacks. Focus on the Family’s budget has fallen from $151 million in 2008 to $136 million this year. In 2004, there were 1,400 employees; today, there are 830.

Fryrear’s departure signals Focus on Family’s gradual shift away from the ex-gay industry (although they still do actively promote the ex-gay myth). I can’t imagine what Fryrear will do now, considering her job for the past several years was trying to convince people that she is a heterosexual (although she had never had relationships with men). I’m glad I’m not her career counselor, but she might consider beauty school with all her practice at eyebrow plucking and facial mud masks.

Back to Exodus, I’ll give them credit for creating an exciting, new website to peddle its scientifically bankrupt misinformation. Interestingly, they barely seem to focus on real, live “ex-gay” people. According to the site:

Of course, there are no “experts” on the panel as advertised. And, a plausible case can be made that there are no real Christians either. But, I will concede that there are a number of “nationally known” talking heads who are pretending to have a clue about the lives of LGBT people.

But, where are the real “ex-gays”? You know, people with real jobs and real lives who have actually gone from gay-to-straight. Why does the new version of LWO use the same tired, over-exposed handful of paid, highly-trained spokespeople we have seen 100 times before? It seems that Exodus has trouble finding genuine success stories to share and settles on a recycled cast of slick characters who inevitably have products to sell on the lucrative right wing speaking circuit.

One wonders if the conference should be renamed “Loot Wins Out”.

On Nov. 7th, Focus on the Family brought its absurd “ex-gay” roadshow Love Won Out to Birmingham Alabama. This is a conference that tries to help people “pray away the gay”. (Cue uproarious laughter)

Truth Wins Out joined several local groups in protest. More than 50 people greeted conference attendees as they entered the church parking lot. Movie star Glenn Shadix, who had once undergone shock therapy in a failed effort to become straight commented on Joe Openshaw’s blog about what he saw at the demonstration:

“An image that will always stay with me is that of a young teenager being driven by what seemed to be his parents, into The Metropolitan Church of God,” said Shadix. “He slowly raised his hand and, hidden from those in the front seat of the car, waved at us as he was driven into the all day seminar. His sad face haunts me. I have been there. My prayers are with him.”

Truth Wins Out joined The Alliance for GLBT Equality at UAB, Covenant Community Church, Equality Alabama Birmingham, Central Alabama Pride and PFLAG.

Special thanks to Bob Palmatier, Joe Openshaw and Rev. J.R. Finney (and many others) for a powerful action against the intolerance and bigotry of Focus on the Family.

Facing a $6 million budget shortfall, Focus on the Family is shifting control of its Love Won Out conference to an outside organization.

Exodus International, a group that claims people can overcome unwanted same-sex attractions with the help of its ministry, announced Tuesday it will take control of the program starting in November.

“Exodus is the ideal organization to transition Love Won Out to,” said Melissa Fryrear, director of Love Won Out. She noted that Focus on the Family and Exodus have been closely aligned for years.

That move comes at this time in part, Fryrear said, because Focus on the Family’ income is down $6 million from what was expected for this year.
The shortfall was recently cited in an e-mail appeal to donors.

Alan Chambers, director of Exodus, said his group is financially equipped to take over Love Won Out, but the move was in the making for years. Focus on the Family planned to provide financial support by providing speakers and marketing assistance.

Wayne Besen, a gay activist whose organization, Truth Wins Out, decries so-called “ex-gay” therapy, said he was not surprised at the development. He noted that Exodus “has acted as an unofficial subsidiary of Focus on the Family” for years.

“Focus on the Family claims that they are facing a $6 million shortfall,” he said. “If they can eliminate a few positions due to this change, it will benefit their bottom line. This is especially true, because we suspect that Love Won Out is slowly losing support as gay people gain more acceptance each year.
The crowds appear smaller and the road show has received less media coverage than it has in the past.

“If they are downsizing, it is because the market for such misinformation has continued to shrink.”

But Chambers said Love Won Out was coming to Exodus in part so it could be operated by a more narrowly focused organization.

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‘We Will Stop Focus on the Family’s Destructive Lies Wherever They Are Spread,’ Says TWO

Truth Wins Out (TWO) announced today that its founder, Wayne Besen, would appear in Anchorage to oppose Focus on the Family’s notorious “ex-gay” Love Won Out road show on Sept. 13. Besen is the author of “Anything But Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the ‘Ex-Gay’ Myth.” TWO shadows this anti-gay seminar across the nation to ensure that the public is armed with the facts and aware that Focus on the Family is deliberately disseminating misinformation about gay and lesbian people.

“We appear wherever Focus on the Family spreads lies and fear,” said Wayne Besen, Executive Director of Truth Wins Out. “Love Won Out distorts gay life and conflates stereotypes with science, while selling false hope to vulnerable people. We are looking forward to working with Alaskan advocacy groups to counter Focus on the Family’s false and destructive messages.”

More details about Besen’s trip will be forthcoming. The Love Won Out conference will take place on Sept. 13 at the Abbott Loop Community Church.

We need your help to make this happen. Please consider a tax-deductible contribution to help us fight the right in Alaska. To Donate online CLICK HERE.

Or – send a check to: Truth Wins Out; P.O. Box 25491; Brooklyn, NY 11202

Melissa Fryrear, the clownish so-called ex-lesbian from Focus on the Family who cakes on make-up, pretends to have crushes on red headed men (although we’ve never had a report of an actual date) and admits that she is “not the sharpest knife in the drawer,” has changed the term “ex-gay” to “post gay” in Focus on the Family’s latest newsletter.

In the letter, she describes the process of becoming post-gay:

“Thus, for any feeling, thought, belief, identity, behavior or action that is not characteristic of and resembling of the Person of Jesus Christ, God’s intention is to change it so that it is.” (sounds like brainwashing)

Of course, Fryrear admits that her ministry has the potential to cause great damage, saying, “It is a process – often a very long, difficult and painful process.”

Actually, it is a destructive dead end. The people who throw their money at charlatans like Fryrear do go through the painful process described, only to find that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. This exacerbates the pain and can lead to depression and self-destructive behavior.

I’m not sure why loneliness, pain, celibacy, depression and thoughts of suicide qualify as “post-gay.”

Fearing that facts may undermine stigmas and stereotypes, Focus on the Family and the Family Research Council have spoken out against Just The Facts, an educational resource guide that was developed by a 13-member coalition that includes the American Academy of Pediatrics, the National Education Association and the American Association of School Administrators.

According to The Washington Blade, the factbook was sent to 12,000 high-school administrators on Feb. 8, advising that schools should refrain from subjecting students to potential harm by promoting various unproven or discredited “ex-gay” conversion “therapies.”

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