Prior to August 2009 I had probably told the story of my experience with ex-gay therapy to a total of 50 people. When it came up with friends I would share some of the details of how Mike Jones, an ex-gay “therapist” in Lansing, MI had robbed me of years of self-esteem and confidence with his lies and predatory practices. It wasn’t something I was overly eager to bring up – it’s not necessarily polite, feel-good conversation and I felt more than a bit embarrassed I had fallen for the ex-gay lies in the first place.
Since going public with my story last summer with the help of Truth Wins Out, things have changed. Thousands of people have now seen the video in which I tell my story and the man who performed my “therapy” has seen his Board of Directors dissolve and Exodus International remove their affiliation.
In early February I had the opportunity to travel to Des Moines, Iowa and share my story with over 100 strangers – including a State Senator sitting front-and-center. A group called First Friday Breakfast Club invited me to Des Moines to speak at their monthly meeting. As part of the trip I also spoke with 25 students at Iowa State University at an event hosted by the LGBTA Alliance and the Office of LGBT Student Services.
I was overwhelmed with the support and kindness with which I was received at both events. But I was also shocked at the number of people who were unaware the ex-gay industry is still alive and actively victimizing the most vulnerable members of the LGBT community. Since sharing my story publicly it has become evident that many people, including many LGBT folks, aren’t aware of the activity and dangers of the ex-gay industry.
It is more important than ever the LGBT community at-large understands the real threat the ex-gay industry represents to all of us. The US ex-gay industry’s connection to the Ugandan “Kill the Gays Bill” is a stark example of the danger these groups represent. They use the “fact” that sexual orientation can and should be changed to deny basic rights and to actively discriminate against LGBT folks.
In addition the ex-gay industry spreads false and defamatory lies that all gay men are addicted to drugs, alcohol and random sex and that it is impossible to be gay and happy and/or gay and religious. This is what I was led to believe and these false characterizations certainly perpetuate homophobia and discrimination experienced by gay men in particular.
And most obviously, the ex-gay industry continues to rob vulnerable and scared people of their dignity, self-esteem and identity. While in Iowa I got to meet several other survivors of ex-gay therapy and was touched to hear their stories. It was inspiring to meet other survivors who are also finding healing and strength by sharing their experiences and fighting to prevent others from similar abuses. I’m glad to be healing and fighting beside them.
Ex-gay organization had been source of contention locally
By Todd A. Heywood 12/16/09 9:57 AM
LANSING — Gay rights advocates are lauding a split between the controversial Lansing-based ex-gay ministry Corduroy Stone and prominent ex-gay ministry group Exodus International.
“Exodus has removed their affiliation and the board of directors has dissolved. Now he’s just some guy,” said Patrick McAlvey, 24, who earlier this year told his story of dealing with Mike Jones and Corduroy Stone Ministries to the national organization Truth Wins Out.
“He’s not a mental health professional. He’s not a pastor,” McAlvey said of Jones, a retired Michigan State University employee. “He’s just some guy with made-up theories and outlandish techniques claiming he can help people change their sexual orientation. He is dangerous and I hope people steer clear of this predator.”
Exodus Dithered While Scandal Raged, Placing Youth at Risk, Says Truth Wins Out
Truth Wins Out (TWO) revealed today that the nation’s largest “ex-gay” organization, Exodus International, officially cut ties with its Lansing affiliate Corduroy Stone after charges were made by an ex-gay survivor that the sessions included harmful and bizarre therapy. In August, Patrick McAlvey made the charges against Corduroy Stone’s Mike Jones in a Truth Wins Out video, yet it took Exodus until December to take action. Exodus’ dithering in the face of scandal cost precious time and may have placed additional youth in harm’s way, according to Truth Wins Out.
“For decades Exodus International has lent this predator some level of credibility,” ex-gay survivor Patrick McAlvey told Truth Wins Out. “Now they have finally realized how dangerous he is, but how many vulnerable folks have already been victimized because of Exodus’ support of this man?”
“Shame on Exodus International for dragging its feet when our children were at risk,” said Truth Wins Out’s Executive Director Wayne Besen. “Exodus was more interested in covering up the scandal than fixing it. This case shows that ex-gay programs lack standards and place vulnerable people in harms way.”
At the age of nineteen, McAlvey, who came from a religious background, was terrified that he might be gay. Feeling vulnerable and desperate to “change”, he placed his trust in Mike Jones and Corduroy Stone.
“He asked how large my penis was,” McAlvey explained of Jones’ therapy. “He asked if I shave my pubic hair. He asked what type of underwear that I wore. He wanted me to describe my sexual fantasies to him and the type of men I’m attracted to. On one occasion, he asked me to take my shirt off and show him how many push-ups I could do, which I did not do.”
“Mike Jones used to be able to say he was an Exodus International affiliate governed by a Board of Directors,” said McAlvey to Truth Wins Out. “Exodus has removed their affiliation and the Board of Directors has dissolved. Now he’s just some guy. He’s not a mental health professional. He’s not a pastor. He’s just some guy with made-up theories and outlandish techniques claiming he can help people change their sexual orientation. He is dangerous and I hope people steer clear of this predator.”
Truth Wins Out called Mike Jones today, but he declined to comment. Exodus’ headquarters in Orlando has not addressed the situation since August. Repeated attempts to reach Alan Chambers, Exodus’ President, have gone unanswered.
Despite accusations that he sexually accosted a young male client and uses public property to promote sectarian religious bigotries, Mike Jones and his Corduroy Stone ex-gay ministry will continue to receive its web hosting from Michigan State University.
The Michigan Messenger reported Friday that David Gift, vice provost for libraries, computing and technology at MSU, said that the university’s hands are tied because Mike Jones is a retired university employee.
We have made systematic progress over the past year at removing public purchased web publishing and e-mail accounts that had been established at MSU. However, retirees have the benefit of continued use of their MSU web space and our existing policies for controlling their use of that space are quite limited and do not permit us to address this particular case. The owner of this site is a retiree, and after we closed his purchased account under our general change of business practices he set up shop in his retiree space. He apparently has arranged for a .com URL, but has that URL redirected to his MSU personal webspace.
Terry Denbow, vice president for university relations, further explained MSU’s policy:
The point is that we do allow retirees to have Web spaces that link to other organizations. The fact that this organization has material that is offensive does not, in and of itself, violate any University policies. We cannot, under the First Amendment, make content based distinctions on what sites we allow and which ones we do not. We are continuing to review and update our acceptable use policies and will take this under advisement as we do so. In the meantime, so long as Mr. Jones is in compliance with U policy, his web space will remain available to him.
Denbow said that while the university was blocked from further action under
current policies, it might be time to revisit those policies.
Truth Wins Out executive director Wayne Besen and Jones’s victimized client, who is no longer ex-gay, reacted here.
It is frankly alarming that MSU policy allows alleged predators to host websites on public property simply because they are retirees. MSU’s see-no-evil policy may serve as an open invitation for other retirees to launch sites inciting prejudice and sexual violence against ethnic and religious constituencies.
A true “conservative,” small-government, or libertarian policy would demand that no personal or private sectarian sites of any kind be hosted on taxpayer-supported government property. Instead, taxpayers are being forced to host the work of a predatory ex-gay who inflicts his failures upon students.
Truth Wins Out has sought comment from Corduroy Stone and from Exodus International regarding the accusation of sexual abuse; both have refused to comment.
After assuring LGBT activists and leaders for two years that a controversial website would be removed from its computer servers, Michigan State University said last week it will continue to host the website of the ex-gay ministry Corduroy Stone.
In an email, David Gift, vice provost for libraries, computing and technology at MSU, told Michigan Messenger that the university’s hands are tied because Mike Jones, who runs the site that promotes therapy as a way to convert gay individuals to a straight lifestyle, is a retired university employee.
Wayne Besen, executive director of the national organization Truth Wins Out, which opposes the ex-gay movement, also called on the university to remove the website:
“Michigan State should cancel Jones’ e-mail address and immediately stop hosting his site. It gives the false impression that the university endorses a dangerous form of therapy that was just condemned by the American Psychological Association.”
Besen is particularly familiar with Corduroy Stone because when he was in Grand Rapids earlier this year to speak at an event at Grand Valley State University aimed at countering the national ex-gay conference held locally. While there, he met Patrick McAlvey, 24, of Lansing, who says he was victimized by Jones and the Corduroy Stone programs. He even went so far as to do a video interview with Besen, which was posted last month on YouTube. And Besen features McAlvey’s story on his website.
“As both a graduate of Michigan State University and a recovering victim of Mr. Jones’ “ex-gay” therapy I find it sickening that the Corduroy Stone website continues to be supported by MSU. It is horrifying to think that taxpayer money, including my own, is supporting Mr. Jones and his strange and dangerous “work” with Corduroy Stone,” said McAlvey in an email to Michigan Messenger. “I am disturbed that this use of MSU server space could be be mistakenly interpreted as lending Corduroy Stone some sort of credibility it certainly doesn’t deserve and in reality does not enjoy.”
On August 5, Michigan resident Patrick McAlvey (left) revealed in a Truth Wins Out video the bizarre “therapy” he received from Exodus International counselor Mike Jones, who runs the group’s Lansing affiliate, Corduroy Stone. More than a month later, Exodus continues to shelter and support Jones, while offering silence in the face of scandal. The group has made no effort to investigate McAlvey’s charges, nor has it apologized for practicing touch therapy, a controversial practice it supposedly is against.
At the age of nineteen, McAlvey, who came from a religious background, was terrified that he might be gay. Feeling vulnerable and desperate to “change”, he placed his trust in Jones. Michigan’s GLBT newspaper, Between the Lines, interviewed McAlvey, now 24, where he elaborated on his therapy sessions with Jones in vivid detail.
“He asked how large my penis was,” McAlvey explained. “He asked if I shave my pubic hair. He asked what type of underwear that I wore. He wanted me to describe my sexual fantasies to him and the type of men I’m attracted to. On one occasion, he asked me to take my shirt off and show him how many push-ups I could do, which I did not do.”
Exodus may call this “therapy”, but where I come from (the real world) this is called foreplay. This is just not acceptable behavior and is predatory when it comes from an authority figure.
In sessions, Jones would also have McAlvey lie in his arms for hour-long intervals – a technique known as “touch therapy”. This method would be questionable in any circumstance, but even more so when the counselor who is caressing the client still admits to struggling with his homosexuality.
On his website, Jones acknowledges that he is still having “areas of sexual temptations”, is “sexually attracted to other men” and is “still not sexually attracted to women.” If this is the case, how is he qualified to help other people change their sexual orientation? And, if Exodus’ defines Jones as a success story, why would people waste their time and money on this failed program?
Most important, why is a sexually repressed gay man allowed to place young men in his lap under the auspices of therapy? Imagine the uproar if an older heterosexual therapist was “helping” straight teenagers or young women with such exploitative and quack-like techniques!
Interestingly, Exodus International has a policy statement saying it “is opposed to the therapeutic practice commonly referred to as ‘holding/touch therapy’” and that it “does not endorse any individual or organization that is known to use that method.”
If this is the case, then why has Exodus failed to launch a probe or discipline Jones, an actual Exodus counselor facing a direct charge that he flagrantly violated the organization’s policy? (Read More)
Confused. Isolated. Depressed. Angry. Lansing resident Patrick McAlvey was all of these things both before and during his stint in ex-gay therapy. Now, through a new video produced and released by Truth Wins Out, he’s just determined to make sure that no one else goes through what he did.
The 24-year-old McAlvey’s video was released last month just as the American Psychological Association announced that “mental health professionals should avoid telling clients that they can change their sexual orientation through therapy or other treatments.”
It was too late for McAlvey, but he hopes that the APA findings – plus stories like his – will help other gay youth to love and accept themselves.
Like so many other gay youth, McAlvey was scared when he realized he was attracted to men in sixth grade. Raised in a conservative Christian home, “I didn’t think it was safe to tell anybody,” he said of his young adulthood.
But he did tell one person: Mike Jones, director of Lansing-based ex-gay organization Corduroy Stone.
“When I was 19, I was kicked out of a missionary training school and was forced to move back home with my family,” McAlvey recalled. “I was kicked out because of my attraction to men, so in that time I was sort of in a crisis mode and was very low, very depressed and just trying to make sense of my life and my attraction.”
He contacted Jones, whom he had spoken with before about his “problem,” and began several months of therapy with Jones that supposedly would cure him and make him straight.
Therapy consisted of embarrassing questions and uncomfortable situations. Jones would instruct McAlvey to lie in his arms for an hour at a time – known in the ex-gay circuit as holding therapy. He forced McAlvey to learn about tools and home repair, and to watch the play “Equus” with him, which features full male nudity. He would ask him to rate his attractiveness on a scale of one to 10.
Then there were the questions. “He asked how large my penis was. He asked if I shave my pubic hair. He asked what type of underwear that I wore,” McAlvey explained. “On one occasion, he asked me to take my shirt off and show him how many push-ups I could do, which I did not do.
“He wanted me to describe my sexual fantasies to him and the type of men I’m attracted to.”
But despite all his efforts, McAlvey never stopped being attracted to men. “I never felt like I was changing,” he said of the therapy.
Eventually, he told Jones he wasn’t going to come to therapy anymore. But the damage had been done.
“I just really came to hate myself; to loathe myself,” McAlvey said. “I didn’t trust anyone and I didn’t allow anyone to get close to me because I was terrified that they might find out my secret and that they would think less of me. I spent many years locked up in my room, crying by myself for no good reason.”
McAlvey hopes that telling his story will mean less LGBT teens face the same tough years he did. “I view it as a real assault on some of the more vulnerable members of the LGBT community,” he said. “I think it’s important to speak up to prevent other people from being harmed in the ways that I was.”
Now, less than five years out of his time in ex-gay therapy, he’s doing just that. And while McAlvey hopes that his video will help others, he also thinks it will help him to move on. “(It’s) a bit of a cathartic experience for me, saying publicly that this is not something anymore that I need to be embarrassed of or regret,” he explained. “Instead, I’m going to turn around and use it for good. … It’s turning a negative experience into something that can be used positively.”
The decision to take his story public took time, and a lot of personal healing for McAlvey. When he stopped seeing Jones, he was still grappling with his sexuality and acceptance of himself. Eventually, he was able to see that it’s OK to be gay. “I realized that I don’t think change is going to happen and I don’t think it needs to happen,” he said. “It was getting to the point where I really was comfortable with who I am, and that takes time, a lot of processing and figuring out how to undo some of the internalized homophobia that was the result of this therapy.”
The video, which has almost 6,000 views on YouTube, is the final step in that reparative process – and McAlvey wants to get his message out to LGBT youth. “I would communicate to them the freedom that I felt when I finally embraced my sexual orientation and accepted it as a beautiful and natural part of myself,” he said of speaking to another teen like himself. “I would certainly convey that it is my belief that their sexual orientation is a beautiful, natural part of them that they should feel no shame for and should not think needs to be changed.”
Last week, Truth Wins Out released a video by ex-gay survivor Patrick McAlvey of Lansing, Michigan. He has spoken out on local radio and will join me on Culture Shocks radio with Barry Lynn TODAY at 4PM (ET). I hope you will tune in and listen to the live broadcast on the Internet.
There is “no evidence that sexual orientation change efforts work.” This was the American Psychological Association’s verdict on “ex-gay” therapy after an appointed task force of experts studied the issue for two years.
The conclusion did not surprise those of us who work with people who have been harmed by such programs. For example, I just interviewed Patrick McAlvey, who entered therapy to change his sexual orientation at the age of 19. His counselor, Mike Jones, is the director of Corduroy Stone, an affiliate of Exodus International.
McAlvey says that his sessions included prolonged hugs, the suggestion that he use handyman tools to increase his masculinity and questions about the size of his genitalia. There was also an episode of “holding therapy” where he reclined into the lap of his supposedly “ex-gay” counselor for an hour. The goal, according to McAlvey, was to get comfortable with his own manliness by “feeling the strength” and “smelling the smell” of another man.
What Jones and other ex-gay counselors routinely call “therapy” can seem a great deal like foreplay to the rest of us.
“I think it does a lot of damage to peoples’ mental health,” said McAlvey. “If I had had a fair representation (of gay life) I could have avoided a lot of suffering.”
Of course, such therapy and ministry programs can only exist by grossly distorting the lives of gay people. For example, in a recent radio interview, ex-gay activist Charlene Cothran claimed that gay people do not want legal equality and are really only interested in the “freedom to be a homosexual in a park with no clothes on.”
The APA deserves credit for taking ex-gay therapists to task for twisting the truth and holding them accountable for their scare tactics, such as claiming that there are no happy gay people. (Read More)
Contact: Wayne Besen
Phone: 917-691-5118
E-Mail: wbesen@truthwinsout.org
Web: www.TruthWinsOut.org
‘Ex-Gay’ Therapy is Harmful and Ineffective, Says TWO
NEW YORK – Truth Wins Out commended the American Psychological Association today for adopting a resolution and releasing a report that explicitly says that “there is insufficient evidence” for therapists to claim conversion therapy works. The APA report also admonishes so-called “ex-gay” counselors to not mislead clients by telling them that their sexual orientation can be changed.
“Ex-Gay therapy is a profound travesty that has led to pointless tragedies and we are pleased that the APA has addressed this psychological scourge,” said Wayne Besen, Executive Director of Truth Wins Out. “It is our hope that persistent violators of the principles enumerated by the APA will be held accountable for their unethical actions.”
The APA report cast doubt on efforts to change sexual orientation and said, “Enduring change to an individual’s sexual orientation was unlikely.” It also questioned the objectivity of some counselors promoting “change” programs and cautioned them to not “prioritize one outcome over another.”
“We recommend that the APA take a leadership role in opposing the distortion and selective use of scientific data about homosexuality by individuals and organizations and in supporting the dissemination of accurate scientific and professional information about sexual orientation in order to counteract bias,” the report said.
“It is clear that many ex-gay therapists use stigma and shame to keep gay and lesbian people from genuine self-acceptance,” said Truth Wins Out’s Wayne Besen. “We hope that the APA’s willingness to couch its criticisms so directly will limit the number of psychological casualties produced on the couches of ex-gay therapists.”
The report included a section on adolescent inpatient facilities that try to change sexual orientation in youth.
“The limited published literature on these programs suggests that many do not present accurate scientific information regarding same-sex sexual orientations to youth and families, are excessively fear-based and have the potential to increase sexual stigma,” said the APA report, “Appropriate Therapeutic Responses to Sexual Orientation.”
Additionally, the report recognized survivors who “described their experiences as a significant cause of emotional and spiritual distress and negative self-image.”
Truth Wins Out released a new video today featuring, Patrick McAlvey, a survivor of ex-gay counseling under Mike Jones, director of the Exodus International ministry, Corduroy Stone, based in Lansing, Michigan. Jones’ sessions with McAlvey, who was 19 at the time, included prolonged hugs, the suggestion that he use handyman tools to increase his masculinity and questions about the size of his genitalia. There was also an episode of “holding therapy” where he reclined into the lap of his supposedly “ex-gay” counselor for an hour. The goal, according to McAlvey, was to get comfortable with his own manliness by “feeling the strength” and “smelling the smell” of another man.
“I think it does a lot of damage to peoples’ mental health,” said McAlvey. “If I had had a fair representation (of gay life) I could have avoided a lot of suffering.”
The APA report came one week after Exodus International’s President, Alan Chambers, admitted that he is still “tempted” and must live in “self-denial” to remain “ex-gay.”
“The truth is, I’m in denial, but it is self-denial,” Chambers told Citizen Link, Focus on the Family’s online magazine. “…What I’ve found is that my freedom, and the freedom of those who’ve left homosexuality, was centered around denying what might come naturally to us…there is a way out for those who want it, but it doesn’t say that they are going into heterosexuality.”
Truth Wins Out is a non-profit organization that counters anti-gay misinformation, exposes the ex-gay myth and educates America about gay life.
- 30 -
With a gift of $35 to Truth Wins Out, you can receive an autographed copy of "Anything But Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth."
By Patrick McAlvey
