Filmmaker Morgan Jon Fox has been touring the nation this fall, premiering his six-years-in-the-making documentary This Is What Love In Action Looks Like. The film was inspired by the protests that began when a sixteen year-old named Zach posted a plea for help, after learning that his parents were forcing him into a now defunct “ex-gay” program called Refuge, run by Love in Action in Memphis, Tennessee. The sold-out hometown premiere in Memphis was Friday night, as part of the Indie Memphis film festival, and let’s just say the film did well:
Memphis’ Morgan Jon Fox, who debuted the final version of his years-in-the-making documentary This is What Love in Action Looks Like at Playhouse on the Square Friday, was the big winner at the closing night awards ceremony of the 14th annual Indie Memphis Film Festival.
Fox’s film, which documents the plight of a Memphis teen forced into a church-based “gay de-programming” institution and the surprising evolution of the institution’s director, picked up two awards from two different juries: It picked up a Special Documentary Jury Award and Best Hometowner Feature, the latter coming with a $1000 cash prize presented by the Memphis & Shelby County Film and Television Commission.
“I’ve shown several films here and the feeling I get having a premiere here is different than anywhere,” Fox said after picking up the special jury award. He went on to express his appreciation for having a home “so loving and supportive.”
After the screening, a lively panel discussion happened, moderated by Chris Davis of The Memphis Flyer, and featured Fox, Peterson Toscano [who is in the film, and whom many of you are familiar with], E.J. Friedman, one of the original bloggers and activists who participated in the 2005 protests, former Love In Action leader John Smid, and also your own Evan Hurst of Truth Wins Out. Here’s a snapshot photographer Michael Norris took of that panel. I’m in the middle and Smid has the microphone [click to embiggen]:
A hearty Truth Wins Out congratulations goes out to Morgan for a job well done!
All should read this great piece by Bianca Phillips in Memphis’s alternative newsweekly, the Memphis Flyer. In it, she takes the reader back on a recap of what he and the Exodus flagship model Love In Action used to be, and describes the evolution Smid is undergoing as a result of meeting local gay filmmaker Morgan Jon Fox, whose documentary This Is What Love In Action Looks Like has been making its rounds this fall on the independent film festival circuit:
John Smid, the former director of ex-gay Christian ministry Love in Action, is a changed man.
Sitting in an office above the detached garage of his Germantown home, he has nothing but praise for the work of local gay filmmaker Morgan Jon Fox. Fox’s long-awaited documentary, This Is What Love in Action Looks Like, makes its local premiere at the Indie Memphis Film Festival on November 4th, and it was through the multi-year making of that film that Smid’s ideas about homosexuality began to shift dramatically.
“I’m realizing that people have the freedom in Christ to choose to live in a gay relationship. That’s not for me to judge on their behalf,” said Smid, who resigned as executive director of Love in Action in 2008. “I realize I was what the gay community often said I was: I was judgmental. I was critical. I was somewhat homophobic.”
People who were directly affected by Smid’s activities during his time at Love In Action are having varied reactions to Smid’s change in attitude, and that’s understandable. Peterson Toscano spoke to The Flyer for the article and had this to say, among other things:
“Love in Action was oppression in this concentrated form, so I was very depressed afterwards and suicidal for a time,” said Toscano, who wrote the play Doin’ Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House as a way to cope with the damage. “I was really confused, and there was lots of self-hatred and shame. There was lots of bad training about sexuality. Nobody was trained to teach anything.”
Toscano said one of Love in Action’s core teachings was especially damaging.
“They insisted that, as queer people, we were not able to have healthy relationships. So even friendships would become twisted and perverted because we became too emotionally needy,” Toscano said. “I found myself putting up walls five to six years later as I was getting to know people. I had it in my head that I couldn’t get close to people.”
So glib apologies aren’t really going to cut it, though it does seem like Smid really is starting to grasp what he did. Peterson has talked about Smid’s “evolution” extensively on his blog, so if you haven’t read that, do so.
Lastly, Bianca also interviewed me for the article and asked what Truth Wins Out’s response to this sort of thing is. Here is what I said:
Evan Hurst, the Memphis-based social media director for anti-ex-gay group Truth Wins Out, echoes the sentiment many former clients have publicly expressed.
“If [Smid] is on a path of personal growth and starting to grasp that he played a key part of inflicting harm onto people, that’s great. [Truth Wins Out] only wishes him the best in continuing on that road,” Hurst said. “But part of our mission is to expose this industry for what it is. We’re not shy about our goal, and that’s to let every single person know how harmful these ministries are.”
Yup! So anyway, go read the whole thing to see what you’re missing.
Huge news from Memphis, which has long been the regrettable home of one of Exodus International’s flagship models, Love In Action. The residential program, which abused so many people for so many years, is no more:
Love In Action’s Residential program has been suspended indefinitely. Simply put, there is a significant need to bring all of LIA under one location for it to be more cost effective. We continue to counsel and grow through our 4-Day Intensives, Hourly Counseling, Conferences, Support Groups, and Church Assistance Program.
When Wayne spoke in Memphis, we visited the former headquarters of LIA’s counseling business, and LIA survivors with us visited the home where they lived while in the program, only to find it on the market. I had heard rumblings that the program was coming to an end, but the confirmation is great news.
It’s, of course, too much to ask that they might be doing this because they recognize how many lives they have destroyed over the years, as they still have a referral link for other “biblically based” residential programs.
I am thrilled that the sun has finally set on this part of the program–one that housed and harassed many of us these past 30 years. While they will continue to offer some limited services, it appears that they have begun to dismantle operations.
That would be a good thing, both for Memphis and for the rest of the country. Any time one of these programs is shut down, it means that untold numbers of potential victims could escape the psychological and spiritual abuse they dole out in exchange for people’s hard earned money.
So this is good news! But there are still many more of these programs out there, though, so we’ll be around, fightin’ the good fight.
LGBT Groups to Host Week of Education, Entertainment, and Protests to Show Harm of ‘Ex-Gay’ Programs in Houston
What: On September 10, the infamous “ex-gay” organization Exodus International will host Love Won Out in Houston, which is a quarterly road show promoting the false and dangerous idea that one can “pray away the gay.” (Sugar Creek Baptist Church)
In response, a coalition of local and national LGBT organizations will host a weeklong series of educational and entertainment events highlighting the harm caused by “ex-gay” programs. The week will conclude with a Saturday protest outside Love Won Out and an MCC church service highlighting the values of love, inclusion, diversity, tolerance, pluralism, and acceptance.
SCHEDULE OF EVENTS (All events open to media)
Opening Night: Overview of ‘Ex-Gay’ Ministries with Wayne Besen
Wednesday, September 7
7:00 – 9:00 pm Resurrection MCC (2025 West 11th Street, Houston TX)
Presentation followed by a Pastors’ Panel and Q&A Session
Event Info: Truth Wins Out founder Wayne Besen will discuss in an acclaimed multi-media presentation the history of ‘ex-gay’ programs, the techniques used, the key players involved and political context in which these dangerous programs operate. Besen is the architect of the recent undercover operation that revealed that the clinic of Michele Bachmann’s husband, Marcus, practiced “ex-gay” therapy. Besen is the author of Anything But Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth. He has appeared on leading shows including: NBC Nightly News, ABC Nightline, ABC World News Tonight, ABC’s Good Morning America, FOX’s The O’Reilly Factor, MSNBC’s The Rachel Maddow Show, and Comedy Central’s The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
Film Screening: This is What Love in Action Looks Like
Thursday, September 8
7:00 – 9:00 pm
Resurrection MCC (2025 West 11th Street, Houston TX)
Event Info: America was captivated when Zach Stark, a gay teenager, was forced by his parents into the Memphis “ex-gay” ministry Love in Action (LIA) against his will. This is What Love in Action Looks Like is a new film that explores the controversial LIA experience and shows how youth are coerced into “ex-gay” programs. Film director Morgan Jon Fox and interviewee Brandon Tidwell will be on-hand to answer questions about the film and “ex-gay” programs.
One Man Show: Peterson Toscano
Friday, September 9
7:00 – 9:00 pm
Resurrection MCC (2025 West 11th Street, Houston TX)
Event Info: Celebrated comedian and actor Peterson Toscano shares his own story of trying to ‘de-gay’ himself and the process he took to integrate his sexuality with all parts of his life. In this presentation you will witness the Best of Peterson Toscano as he presents excerpts from original plays including The Re-Education of George W. Bush, Queer 101–Now I Know my gAy,B,Cs, and Doin’ Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House. Peterson will also share extracts from his newest play, Transfigurations, which looks at the stories and lives of transgender Bible characters. Peterson is the co-founder of Beyond Ex-Gay and has been featured on the Montel Williams Show, The Tyra Banks Show, FOX’s The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, and the BBC.
Protest of Exodus International’s Love Won Out
Saturday, September 10
11:30AM – 1:00PM
Outside the Sugar Creek Baptist Church (13333 Southwest Freeway, Sugar Land, TX)
Founded in 1972, Resurrection Metropolitan Community Church serves more than 850 members and friends and is one of the largest congregations within Metropolitan Community Churches, a Christian denomination with churches in more than 35 countries. The church is widely known for its positive, affirming ministry to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons, along with their friends, families and allies, and for its strong commitment to social justice as an expression of the congregation’s Christian faith. For additional information on the ministry, services, and programs of Resurrection Metropolitan Community Church, visit www.ResurrectionMCC.org.
Truth Wins Out is a non-profit organization that fights anti-LGBT religious extremism. TWO specializes in turning information into action by organizing, advocating and fighting for LGBT equality.
Peterson Toscano has a real knack for clearly explaining the “ex-gay” survivor experience. Check out his video:
When an ex-gay survivor shares an account of how they tried to change or suppress their orientation or gender non-conforming behavior, some gays and lesbians respond–That’s CRAZY! Why would you ever do something that STUPID!
Indeed, it may seem illogical that intelligent queer folk living in modern times get duped by promises of heterosexuality or vaguer promises of “change.” Some just chalk it up to that Old Time Religion that makes people do silly and self-destructive things. But it’s not that simple.
After spending nearly twenty years deeply entrenched in the ex-gay world, attending multiple Exodus programs, including the Love in Action residential facility for two years, I finally came to my senses and came out of the closet. I then began to ask myself–WHY did you do that to yourself? Why did you let ex-gay ministers and gay reparative therapists tamper with you.
Ever since our successful petition to have Exodus International’s iPhone app deleted from the app store, untold numbers have had a chance to learn about the insidious “ex-gay” industry and what it actually does to people. So Peterson and some of the other “ex-gay” survivors have started a hash tag on Twitter — #exgaysurvivor — to share their stories with each other and the world. Here’s some of what they have so far:
Whenever I make a mistake, I still fight the voice in my head that tells me it’s because I’m evil and possessed by a demon – @cylestnichole
After my gay-related exorcism, the only thing that went away was my love for myself – @vcervantes
My family was deeply wounded by Exodus International staff – @p2son
Has barely begun to scratch the surface of the ways they have been harmed by their ex-gay past… it is all too painful… – @never_again4
In ex-gay ministry, I was told if I wasn’t changing to str8t then I wasn’t trying hard enough – @gaysexpert
The twisted Emotionally Dependent Relationship teaching is an invasive species that digs into the brain. Awful – @MJaneB65
The thing is, the silent or implied messages were often more insidious than the direct and explicit ones. – @JarredH
I became depressed and suicidal after ex gay therapy. – @jeraskew1
Never would I have considered that there was a problem with the system. I was made to believe I WAS the problem – @gaysexpert
Being told not to form Emotionally Dependent Relationships kept me in fear of love. http://t.co/97hetHL – @MJaneB65
It was awful because so often ex-gay leaders blamed ME for not trying hard enough or trusting Jesus – @p2son
The only time I’ve ever felt separated from God was during my ex-gay experience – @cylestnichole
I was told that if I was gay, God would utterly reject me – @gaysexpert
God is not the author of confusion, but of love. My time in reparative therapy produced nothing but confusion and hate – @never_again4
They told me that I had gay demons. Then that abuse made me gay. Then my parents failed. #exgay ministers misled me -@p2son
They told me my “boy” was too much and my “girl” was not enough. I became nothing. @MJaneB65
college sent me to ex-gay therapy & all I got was a hospital bill after trying to kill myself bc they told me I was sick&sinful – @never_again4
After 10 years of reparative therapy I was hospitalized because I was suicidal – @MJaneB65
Actual Suicide note: “God would rather have me die now than to live with another gay thought.” – @gaysexpert
‘Love Won Out’ came to my college. After that, I attempted suicide 3 times within one year. I never told any of my friends – @cylestnichole
My counselors didn’t believe I existed. And, like Tinkerbell, poison and disbelief almost killed me. I do believe in fairies! – @connoley
If you have a story to tell, or genuinely want to learn more about the horrific lies perpetuated by the “ex-gay” industry, get thee to the Twitters and join in, and keep up with Peterson’s blog in the meantime. AND speaking of Twitter, since I haven’t mentioned it on the blog in a while, you should also follow me and Truth Wins Out, if you want, and you should want to, because come on.
A British evangelical group called “Church Society for Bible, Church and Nation” — an oxymoron, to be sure — warns that former ex-gay Peterson Toscano is “promoting immorality” by teaching what the Bible says about gender.
The Society, which opposes an allowance of privacy for Christians, says of Toscano and his “Transfigurations” play about transgender issues in the Bible:
Toscano is someone who has apparently trawled the Bible and attempted to find in it references to people who “do not fit the gender binary’. This sort of argument is not uncommon and anyone who had encountered it will know just how the desire to find such leads to a twisted and selective reading into the text of Scripture, yet sadly many who dismiss the plain teaching of Scripture seem enthralled by such perverse handling of the text.
To “trawl” means to dig deeply; apparently the Society prefers a superficial approach to the Bible, instead. Hence its rejection of the Bible when its stories deviate from strict gender roles policed by self-righteous evangelicals.
But Toscano doesn’t need us to defend him; he ably discusses Transfigurations right here:
The roadside billboards of the ex-gay movement tell passing motorists — who often just wanted to drink their coffee and drive in peace — to “Question Homosexuality.”
Those who are familiar with the ex-gays who are spotlighted in the billboards know that Exodus International does not truly “question” sexual orientation; the organization merely pretends that it does not exist. Journalists who are unfamiliar with ex-gay ideology and the journeys of former ex-gays frequently ask questions that bypass substantive examination of the ex-gay movement.
Is change possible? Can someone change from gay to straight?
Most people on any side of the ex-gay issue who know about the lives of ex-gays and the various ex-gay treatments involved understand that these sort of closed-ended questions fall flat in light of the intricacies we’re talking about here and in particular when we consider the people most directly affected. None of us really became heterosexual. This is evidenced in one of the most challenging dilemmas many of us faced in trying to name ourselves. Even those of us who married people of the opposite sex could not honestly call ourselves straight. As Marvin Bloom used to say say when he was still ex-gay, “I’m a former homosexual. I’m not exactly straight. I’m growing into heterosexuality, slowly.”
Another popular question from journalists is,
What is the most outrageous treatment you experienced in an ex-gay program?
This “sexy” question exploits everyone involved. Yes, crazy, outrageous things happen in many ex-gay programs, but by focusing on these wacky practices, we overlook more important issues. One could too easily discount the whole thing and say, “Man, look at those crazy people!” without getting to the heart of the matter or to any useful analysis. (But then again, much of the news is about entertainment and not information.)
Toscano asks readers to supply additional questions and answers — and so do we.
Opening Night: Overview of ‘Ex-Gay’ Ministries with Wayne Besen
Film Screening: This is What Love in Action Looks Like
One Man Show: Peterson Toscano
Protest of Exodus International’s Love Won Out
Founded in 1972, Resurrection Metropolitan Community Church serves more than 850 members and friends and is one of the largest congregations within Metropolitan Community Churches, a Christian denomination with churches in more than 35 countries. The church is widely known for its positive, affirming ministry to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender persons, along with their friends, families and allies, and for its strong commitment to social justice as an expression of the congregation’s Christian faith. For additional information on the ministry, services, and programs of Resurrection Metropolitan Community Church, visit 
