Personally, I don’t like the bogus term “SSA”, which stands for “same-sex attraction.” There is no such thing (or diagnosis) as SSA and it is a manipulative attempt to separate LGBT people from their natural, inborn sexuality.
The term SSA is skillfully employed to make it appear as if fundamentalist bigots are not attacking the person, just their sexual feelings. It is a diabolical method of creating a medical-sounding term to deliver Anita Bryant’s hateful “love the sinner, hate the sin” message. At least Bryant had the courage to say what she believes and not hide behind euphemisms and phony pop psychology.
If you think I am wrong, ask yourself: Why does disgraced “sexual reorientation coach” Richard Cohen (pictured) love the term SSA so much? It is all over his website and his books. He is basically turning you into a sick patient rather than a real person. The National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) also loves SSA.
We should not help our enemies by adopting their language, which is specifically designed and employed to portray us as freaks with a problem that needs to be fixed. SSA — much like STD — sounds like you have a disease that can be cured by running to the local doctor for a shot, the pharmacy for a prescription, or the shrink for a session.
If you don’t think language is important, consider yesterday’s CBS/New York Times News poll. It found a significantly higher level of support for “gays” in the military rather than “homosexuals” in the armed services. Here is an excerpt:
A New York Times/CBS News poll finds that a majority of the public support allowing openly gay men and women to serve in the military.
There’s less support, however, for allowing homosexuals to serve openly.
Confused?
The results highlight the importance of wording on the issue. In a test, half of the poll’s respondents were asked their opinion on permitting “gay men and lesbians” to serve, and the other half were asked about permitting “homosexuals” to serve.
The wording of the question proved to make a difference. Seven in 10 respondents said they favor allowing “gay men and lesbians” to serve in the military, including nearly 6 in 10 who said they should be allowed to serve openly. But support was somewhat lower among those who were asked about allowing “homosexuals” to serve, with 59 percent in favor, including 44 percent who support allowing them to serve openly.
At Truth Wins Out, we are not the word police. We allow a great divergence of opinion and if you love to use the phrase SSA, then keep doing so. It’s a free country. Please realize, however, that you are making Dr. Joseph Nicolosi and Richard Cohen quite happy by adhering to their slick public relations scheme.
More than 35 years after homosexuality was erased from the DSM (list of mental disorders) why voluntarily describe yourself in sterile, medical terms, as if you have a “problem” that quacks can “fix” for a hefty fee?
What have we been saying? Some people think it’s extreme when I and others point out that what’s going on in Uganda is simply happening because Evangelical Fundamentalist Christians can get away with it there. Some people think, incorrectly, that American Fundamentalists are inherently civilized people and swallow down their weak condemnations of the Uganda legistlation. Some people want to apologize for these bigoted ghouls, want to tell us that all we need is to sit down and have a little chat so that we can “understand each other better.”
If you feel that way, you might just want to go ahead and check yourself right now.
The American Family Association radio host and head of the Idaho Family Alliance, Bryan Fischer, used these words in reply to an e-mail from a listener, reproduced in full by Joe Jervis:
Thanks for writing me about my comments on my program regarding homosexuality. It might be worth noting that what I actually suggested is that we impose the same sanctions on those who engage in homosexual behavior as we do on those who engage in intravenous drug abuse, since both pose the same kind of risk of contracting HIV/AIDS. I’d be curious to know what you think should be done with IV drug abusers, because whatever it is, I think the same response should be made to those who engage in homosexual behavior.
If you believe that what drug abusers need is to go into an effective detox program, then we should likewise put active homosexuals through an effective reparative therapy program. Secondly, I’m afraid you’re simply wrong about the Bible’s perspective on the law and homosexuality. Paul lists quite explicitly in 1 Timothy 1:8-11 the actions and behaviors that are the proper concern of the law:
“Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it lawfully, understanding this, that the law is not laid down for the just but for the lawless and disobedient, for the ungodly and sinners, for the unholy and profane, for those who strike their fathers and mothers, for murderers, the sexually immoral, men who practice homosexuality, enslavers, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to sound doctrine…”
The bottom line here is that, biblically, those “who practice homosexuality” should come under the purview of the law just as much as those who take people captive in order to sell them into slavery. You express a belief in the Scriptures, and I trust your confidence in Scripture is not selective. If you believe all Scripture is inspired, then you are compelled to accept that legal sanctions may appropriately be applied to those who engage in homosexual behavior.
Yeah. You see, these people do not believe in what the United States stands for. They are not patriots, because they seek to destroy our Constitution, which allows them to have their beliefs without harassment, but which seeks to provide equal treatment for all under the law. We’re not there yet, but we’ll get there. But “men” (I use the term loosely) like Bryan Fischer don’t value this country. They want nothing more than a land where they can take their backwards, knuckle-dragging, pigheaded, bigoted belief system and enshrine it as the law of the land, to be lorded over anyone who is not white, heterosexual, Evangelical Christian and male.
And let’s be clear here. We can have our arguments all day long (as liberals do, quite nicely) about whether there’s a god, which god it is if there is one, yadda yadda yadda, ad nauseam. But we can all agree that Bryan Fischer does not represent the message of the Jesus Christ that’s written about in Christian texts.*
Quick factcheck, Bry:
1. Homosexual behavior is not, in itself, conducive to the spread of HIV/AIDS. Why don’t you consult with a physician about that, and get back to me?
2. The words “men who practice homosexuality” are not in any grown-up translation of the Bible. Perhaps you should devote a little more time to studying the texts by which you claim to live.
3. There is no such thing as “an effective reparative therapy program.” You can find detailed information on the success rates of so-called “reparative therapy” and its effects at a website called, oh lookie here, Truth Wins Out.
4. Dingbat.
*But! I would argue that he is representative of the parts of those texts that confirm his stupidity and hatred. They tend to be found in literal interpretations of the Old Testament god. So I really don’t want to hear the cop-out about Bryan Fischer not representing Christianity as a whole. He does. He represents the parts of it that give him cover for his own fear of things that are different from him, or are perhaps too much like him.
Dr. Jack Drescher, M.D., is a psychiatrist and psychologist in private practice in New York City. He presented the second keynote address at the Anti-Heterosexism Conference in West Palm Beach, Florida, in November 2009.
Dr. Drescher has written and edited over 20 books regarding homosexuality and gender identity. His keynote, “STRAIGHT” Jackets: A Psychiatrist Deconstructs Sexual Conversion Therapies, speaks in great detail about the psychology and psychiatry of homosexuality and the ineffectiveness of so-called “conversion therapies.”
The conference organizers have now made video of this address available. Video length: about 48 minutes.
The Anti-Heterosexism Conference was co-sponsored by Soulforce, the National Black Justice Coalition, Truth Wins Out, Box Turtle Bulletin, Equality Florida, and Beyond Ex-Gay.
Ex-gay organization had been source of contention locally
By Todd A. Heywood 12/16/09 9:57 AM
LANSING — Gay rights advocates are lauding a split between the controversial Lansing-based ex-gay ministry Corduroy Stone and prominent ex-gay ministry group Exodus International.
“Exodus has removed their affiliation and the board of directors has dissolved. Now he’s just some guy,” said Patrick McAlvey, 24, who earlier this year told his story of dealing with Mike Jones and Corduroy Stone Ministries to the national organization Truth Wins Out.
“He’s not a mental health professional. He’s not a pastor,” McAlvey said of Jones, a retired Michigan State University employee. “He’s just some guy with made-up theories and outlandish techniques claiming he can help people change their sexual orientation. He is dangerous and I hope people steer clear of this predator.”
It was announced that both “ex-gay” organizations Love Won Out and Exodus will merge, which begs the question, is one better than two?
Love Won Out is the brain child of right wing evangelical “leader” James Dobson. Dobson has a long history of over thirty years of anti-gay rhetoric, which started in 1977 with the inception of Focus on the Family. He then formed the organization Family Research Council 1981 which attempts to imposed its right wing evangelical Christian views in government, politics,and law making.
Exodus is also a right wing evangelical organization that was founded in 1976. Since its formation Exodus has been marred with controversy. Exodus was founded by five alleged “ex-gay” men, two of which (Gary Busse and Michael Cooper) later left the organization, reneged their prior claims, and announced their love for each other. In more recent years another controversy emerged when John Paulk, a self proclaimed “ex-gay” and Exodus chairman, was caught by Wayne Besen in a Washington DC gay bar in 2000. This came after years of Paulk attesting to be “cured” from his former “gay life”. This proved to be a huge embarrassment to Exodus, contradicting years of claims preaching just the opposite. Paulk was removed and relieved of his duties with the organization.
Interestingly enough Paulk is also connected with James Dobson, as they co-founded the organization Love Won Out in 1998, a subsidiary of Focus on the Family, to specifically address and promote an “ex-gay” agenda.
Exodus and Love Won Out work to the detriment of the GLBT community as they promote conversion and reparative therapy, claiming its effectiveness to change ones orientation. These claims are asserted without any empirical evidence or peer reviewed studies and at the condemnation of 13 medical and mental health organizations, including the American Medical Association (AMA) and the American Psychological Association (APA). These 13 organizations vehemently oppose reparative and conversion therapy and its damaging ways so much they actually formed the “Just the Facts coalition” which clearly states their disapproval of such actions and tactics.
www.apa.org/pi/lgbc/publications/justthefacts.pdf
This merger just reinforces the need to remain steadfast in our efforts to expose the “ex-gay” movement for what it really is, present facts and promote love and acceptance rather then shame and self loathing.
The National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) is a discredited “ex-gay” fringe organization that peddles fraudulent “cures” for homosexuality. Sadly, a lucrative market still exists for anti-gay stereotypes disguised as science and the greedy ideologue “therapists” eager to profit from unnecessary pain. They take advantage of vulnerable people who want to “fit in” and exploit suffering families who are desperate to believe they can cure a loved one.
Here are 10 Key Facts to know about NARTH:
1) NARTH recommends “treating” males as young as three years old, referring to them as “pre-homosexual boys.” In our view, this is consumer fraud since parents are unlikely to see results, despite expensive therapy sessions. We also believe forcing children to undergo traumatic, shame inducing “therapy” is child abuse that may cause lasting psychological scars. (Read More)
On August 5, Michigan resident Patrick McAlvey (left) revealed in a Truth Wins Out video the bizarre “therapy” he received from Exodus International counselor Mike Jones, who runs the group’s Lansing affiliate, Corduroy Stone. More than a month later, Exodus continues to shelter and support Jones, while offering silence in the face of scandal. The group has made no effort to investigate McAlvey’s charges, nor has it apologized for practicing touch therapy, a controversial practice it supposedly is against.
At the age of nineteen, McAlvey, who came from a religious background, was terrified that he might be gay. Feeling vulnerable and desperate to “change”, he placed his trust in Jones. Michigan’s GLBT newspaper, Between the Lines, interviewed McAlvey, now 24, where he elaborated on his therapy sessions with Jones in vivid detail.
“He asked how large my penis was,” McAlvey explained. “He asked if I shave my pubic hair. He asked what type of underwear that I wore. He wanted me to describe my sexual fantasies to him and the type of men I’m attracted to. On one occasion, he asked me to take my shirt off and show him how many push-ups I could do, which I did not do.”
Exodus may call this “therapy”, but where I come from (the real world) this is called foreplay. This is just not acceptable behavior and is predatory when it comes from an authority figure.
In sessions, Jones would also have McAlvey lie in his arms for hour-long intervals – a technique known as “touch therapy”. This method would be questionable in any circumstance, but even more so when the counselor who is caressing the client still admits to struggling with his homosexuality.
On his website, Jones acknowledges that he is still having “areas of sexual temptations”, is “sexually attracted to other men” and is “still not sexually attracted to women.” If this is the case, how is he qualified to help other people change their sexual orientation? And, if Exodus’ defines Jones as a success story, why would people waste their time and money on this failed program?
Most important, why is a sexually repressed gay man allowed to place young men in his lap under the auspices of therapy? Imagine the uproar if an older heterosexual therapist was “helping” straight teenagers or young women with such exploitative and quack-like techniques!
Interestingly, Exodus International has a policy statement saying it “is opposed to the therapeutic practice commonly referred to as ‘holding/touch therapy’” and that it “does not endorse any individual or organization that is known to use that method.”
If this is the case, then why has Exodus failed to launch a probe or discipline Jones, an actual Exodus counselor facing a direct charge that he flagrantly violated the organization’s policy? (Read More)
Confused. Isolated. Depressed. Angry. Lansing resident Patrick McAlvey was all of these things both before and during his stint in ex-gay therapy. Now, through a new video produced and released by Truth Wins Out, he’s just determined to make sure that no one else goes through what he did.
The 24-year-old McAlvey’s video was released last month just as the American Psychological Association announced that “mental health professionals should avoid telling clients that they can change their sexual orientation through therapy or other treatments.”
It was too late for McAlvey, but he hopes that the APA findings – plus stories like his – will help other gay youth to love and accept themselves.
Like so many other gay youth, McAlvey was scared when he realized he was attracted to men in sixth grade. Raised in a conservative Christian home, “I didn’t think it was safe to tell anybody,” he said of his young adulthood.
But he did tell one person: Mike Jones, director of Lansing-based ex-gay organization Corduroy Stone.
“When I was 19, I was kicked out of a missionary training school and was forced to move back home with my family,” McAlvey recalled. “I was kicked out because of my attraction to men, so in that time I was sort of in a crisis mode and was very low, very depressed and just trying to make sense of my life and my attraction.”
He contacted Jones, whom he had spoken with before about his “problem,” and began several months of therapy with Jones that supposedly would cure him and make him straight.
Therapy consisted of embarrassing questions and uncomfortable situations. Jones would instruct McAlvey to lie in his arms for an hour at a time – known in the ex-gay circuit as holding therapy. He forced McAlvey to learn about tools and home repair, and to watch the play “Equus” with him, which features full male nudity. He would ask him to rate his attractiveness on a scale of one to 10.
Then there were the questions. “He asked how large my penis was. He asked if I shave my pubic hair. He asked what type of underwear that I wore,” McAlvey explained. “On one occasion, he asked me to take my shirt off and show him how many push-ups I could do, which I did not do.
“He wanted me to describe my sexual fantasies to him and the type of men I’m attracted to.”
But despite all his efforts, McAlvey never stopped being attracted to men. “I never felt like I was changing,” he said of the therapy.
Eventually, he told Jones he wasn’t going to come to therapy anymore. But the damage had been done.
“I just really came to hate myself; to loathe myself,” McAlvey said. “I didn’t trust anyone and I didn’t allow anyone to get close to me because I was terrified that they might find out my secret and that they would think less of me. I spent many years locked up in my room, crying by myself for no good reason.”
McAlvey hopes that telling his story will mean less LGBT teens face the same tough years he did. “I view it as a real assault on some of the more vulnerable members of the LGBT community,” he said. “I think it’s important to speak up to prevent other people from being harmed in the ways that I was.”
Now, less than five years out of his time in ex-gay therapy, he’s doing just that. And while McAlvey hopes that his video will help others, he also thinks it will help him to move on. “(It’s) a bit of a cathartic experience for me, saying publicly that this is not something anymore that I need to be embarrassed of or regret,” he explained. “Instead, I’m going to turn around and use it for good. … It’s turning a negative experience into something that can be used positively.”
The decision to take his story public took time, and a lot of personal healing for McAlvey. When he stopped seeing Jones, he was still grappling with his sexuality and acceptance of himself. Eventually, he was able to see that it’s OK to be gay. “I realized that I don’t think change is going to happen and I don’t think it needs to happen,” he said. “It was getting to the point where I really was comfortable with who I am, and that takes time, a lot of processing and figuring out how to undo some of the internalized homophobia that was the result of this therapy.”
The video, which has almost 6,000 views on YouTube, is the final step in that reparative process – and McAlvey wants to get his message out to LGBT youth. “I would communicate to them the freedom that I felt when I finally embraced my sexual orientation and accepted it as a beautiful and natural part of myself,” he said of speaking to another teen like himself. “I would certainly convey that it is my belief that their sexual orientation is a beautiful, natural part of them that they should feel no shame for and should not think needs to be changed.”
The men who seek help from evangelical counselor Warren Throckmorton often are deeply distressed. They have prayed, read Scripture, even married, but they haven’t been able to shake sexual attractions to other men — impulses they believe to be immoral.
Dr. Throckmorton is a psychology professor at a Christian college in Pennsylvania and past president of the American Mental Health Counselors Association. He specializes in working with clients conflicted about their sexual identity.
The first thing he tells them is this: Your attractions aren’t a sign of mental illness or a punishment for insufficient faith. He tells them that he cannot turn them straight.
But he also tells them they don’t have to be gay.
The article delves into more detail about Throckmorton’s therapy:
For many years, Dr. Throckmorton felt he was breaking a professional taboo by telling his clients they could construct satisfying lives by, in effect, shunting their sexuality to the side, even if that meant living celibately. That ran against the trend in counseling toward “gay affirming” therapy — encouraging clients to embrace their sexuality.
Later in the WSJ article, I comment on the section of the APA’s guidelines that seem to say that Throckmorton’s type of therapy may fall within its new guidelines:
“It’s incredibly misguided,” said Wayne Besen, who runs a group called Truth Wins Out, which fights conversion therapy. He says trying to fight their same-sex attractions can cause immense suffering. “People have their lives destroyed,” Mr. Besen said.
My Thoughts:
I want to clarify that I am supportive of the overall APA report. I think they did a terrific job stating how therapists should handle clients who are struggling to accept their sexual orientation. Most important, they directly challenged “ex-gay” therapists who mislead clients about gay life.
And, the APA made it crystal clear that such charlatans should not be selling snake oil by claiming they can magically turn clients from gay-to-straight. In my view, any therapist who makes such a pitch is a con artist. Any organization that offers such bogus and far-fetched promises is guilty of consumer fraud.
Additionally, the APA should be commended for tackling the affects of religious faith on people working through this issue. Their landmark report explicitly tells religious therapists that clients should be given room to explore who they truly are, without the therapist burdening them with excessive faith-based guilt. This is a step forward, considering that nearly every “reparative therapist” uses shame-based methods to pressure vulnerable and desperate clients into suppressing their natural sexual orientation.
However, (although I am not a psychologist) I remain largely skeptical of the therapy offered by Throckmorton and other conservatives. Throckmorton tells The Wall Street Journal that he starts his sessions by helping clients prioritize their values.
This is where it can get tricky.
Religious therapists (I am not referring specifically to Throckmorton) can manipulate the framing of priorities. For example they may ask clients what they find more important to their value system: “ephemeral hedonism” or “eternal life in heaven”. Given this loaded option, clients may feel they have no “choice” but to live a life of hell on earth in order to get the keys to the Kingdom when they die. This is quite a mental burden for clients to carry and surely can’t be conducive to optimum mental health.
Clients can also be easily manipulated by therapists who induce guilt by saying, “it is fine if you choose to exercise your options in a selfish manner by choosing your sexuality over Scripture.” Such diabolical therapists may be within the new guidelines (barely) by ostensibly offering a troubled client the “choice” and “freedom” to be a “bad” person. But, we all know this is just a tricky form of psychological abuse. While the APA guidelines are helpful, the group may need to address in the future how unsavory counselors use loopholes to continue tormenting the fragile minds of clients.
The WSJ article also mentioned how the APA report considers celibacy a viable “option”:
But if the client still believes that affirming his same-sex attractions would be sinful or destructive to his faith, psychologists can help him construct an identity that rejects the power of those attractions, the APA says. That might require living celibately, learning to deflect sexual impulses or framing a life of struggle as an opportunity to grow closer to God.
“We’re not trying to encourage people to become ‘ex-gay,’” said Judith Glassgold, who chaired the APA’s task force on the issue. “But we have to acknowledge that, for some people, religious identity is such an important part of their lives, it may transcend everything else.”
The APA has long endorsed the right of clients to determine their own identities. But it also warned that “lesbians and gay men who feel they must conceal their sexual orientation report more frequent mental health concerns.”
It is true that in extreme cases, a lifetime of celibacy may lead to a happier existence than coming out of the closet. These rare people, unfortunately, are often so damaged by fundamentalism that they are unable to express their sexuality in healthy ways. Indeed, they are stricken by excessive guilt if they enjoy any form of pleasure that is not sanctioned by their church.
In such instances of irreparable damage to victims of faith-based oppression, celibacy may work (sort of) as a last ditch effort to help these people find a small measure of peace. There are also individuals with low sex drives who may not have an inordinate amount of trouble conforming to onerous religious strictures.
However, celibacy is not a serious option for healthy individuals with normal desires. If a therapist tells a teenager that he or she will have to live the next 50 or so years sexually frustrated and without the possibility of love, you are not going to convince me that this is in the best psychological interest of that conflicted youth.
Imagine being that young person with raging hormones, yet having to suppress powerful urges every minute of the day. On weekends, you stay home playing video games while your friends are dating. At lunchtime in the cafeteria, you have to hear about their sexual exploration, while you bitterly nurse longings that will never be fulfilled. On the way home from school, love songs play on the car radio that are meant for everyone but you. And then you settle on the couch and watch television shows brimming with a sensuality that you will never discover.
Living in such a way would, in the vast majority of cases, make an otherwise healthy person neurotic, depressed and even suicidal. Celibacy, for the most part, is a fantasy concocted by conservative therapists who so despise homosexuality that they would rather see a person loveless and lonely than openly gay.
I also worry that suppression of sexuality will lead to increased mental and sexual abuse in society. The ex-gay ministries (and the Catholic Church) are rife with examples of supposedly celibate or “healed” leaders taking advantage of young people in their care. Youth are easier to manipulate (see TWO video below)and the path of least resistance for the tortured and troubled souls who swear off sexuality (heterosexual and homosexual), only to find that it is not possible over the course of a lifetime. Celibacy is not realistic, nor advisable for most people, and can have deleterious side effects. The idea of the “satisfied celibate” is largely a misguided myth perpetuated by therapists who can’t overcome their own anti-gay leanings.
Ultimately, the more ex-gay ministries and counselors are forced to move away from stigmatizing homosexuality, promising fake miracles and selling false hope, the better off clients will be. If these groups can’t sell the proverbial “heterosexual light at the end of the tunnel”, the vast majority of young gay people will leave the traumatic tunnel behind and come out into the light of freedom and honesty.
Everyone deserves the chance to love and be loved – and conservative therapists will have an increasingly difficult time telling gay clients that they are exceptions to this rule. By calling for more accountability among anti-gay therapists and demanding they be truthful and adhere to modern science, the APA has made a worthy contribution with its report.
There is “no evidence that sexual orientation change efforts work.” This was the American Psychological Association’s verdict on “ex-gay” therapy after an appointed task force of experts studied the issue for two years.
The conclusion did not surprise those of us who work with people who have been harmed by such programs. For example, I just interviewed Patrick McAlvey, who entered therapy to change his sexual orientation at the age of 19. His counselor, Mike Jones, is the director of Corduroy Stone, an affiliate of Exodus International.
McAlvey says that his sessions included prolonged hugs, the suggestion that he use handyman tools to increase his masculinity and questions about the size of his genitalia. There was also an episode of “holding therapy” where he reclined into the lap of his supposedly “ex-gay” counselor for an hour. The goal, according to McAlvey, was to get comfortable with his own manliness by “feeling the strength” and “smelling the smell” of another man.
What Jones and other ex-gay counselors routinely call “therapy” can seem a great deal like foreplay to the rest of us.
“I think it does a lot of damage to peoples’ mental health,” said McAlvey. “If I had had a fair representation (of gay life) I could have avoided a lot of suffering.”
Of course, such therapy and ministry programs can only exist by grossly distorting the lives of gay people. For example, in a recent radio interview, ex-gay activist Charlene Cothran claimed that gay people do not want legal equality and are really only interested in the “freedom to be a homosexual in a park with no clothes on.”
The APA deserves credit for taking ex-gay therapists to task for twisting the truth and holding them accountable for their scare tactics, such as claiming that there are no happy gay people. (Read More)
In a post yesterday, I wrote the following:
nt rather than a real person. The National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) also loves SSA.
