It’s Michele Bachmann with a back-to-school message!

Naw, just joshin’!  It’s my buddy Sara Benincasa with a new back-to-school message from Michele Bachmann!

Sara Benincasa’s back with a new Michele Bachmann series, considering the fact that Crazy Eyes wants to be president.  Enjoy, for Sara is very, very good at being Michele Bachmann.

Back to gay news in a minute, but the lovely Sara Benincasa has released this “leaked footage” of Michele Bachmann rehearsing for her Teabagger response to the Republican response to the State of the Union address, and I think you’ll enjoy it as much as I did.

Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease!

America needs her crazy eyes.

ABC [via Joe Sudbay]:

ABC News has learned that Bachmann, R-Minn., also is seriously weighing whether to seek the Republican nomination for president in 2012.

A source close to the three-term congresswoman said Bachmann will travel to Iowa this month for multiple meetings to seek advice from political forces there and party elders close to the caucus process before coming to a final decision regarding a potential presidential run. Bachmann, a native of Waterloo, Iowa, also is set to deliver a keynote speech at an Iowans for Tax Relief PAC fundraiser Jan. 21 in Des Moines, Iowa.

Can you imagine the debates, especially if Palin is there too?  My gawd, they’d be comedy gold.

AND, as a bonus, Sara Benincasa would be forced to make a lot more of these videos, and frequently.

So let’s watch a video of Sarah Palin praising Todd’s junk, brought to us, of course, by Sara Benincasa.

Michele Bachmann said the following insane things at the Values Voters Summit today.  She really doesn’t have any idea what the United States is all about does she?

As usual, the Wonkette Michele Bachmann, who calls herself “Sara Benincasa,” is better, so let’s watch this oldie-but-goodie where she tells everybody why the “minimum wage is bull-honky!”  Also, she discusses homosexuality with a model of her teeth.

*Not the real Michele Bachmann, but the Wonkette one, who is mostly like the real one, except that her real name is “Sara Benincasa.”

Sara Benincasa is back with another Michele Bachmann vlog, where she addresses reader mail asking for advice in getting the homosexuals to stop being gay with each other.  You’ll remember last week, when “Michele” discussed the ways she helps her husband, Dr. Marcus Bachmann, de-gay his patients.

Enjoy!  Also?  Do not watch at work, probably.

Note to Wonkette people: I will rustle up a new one for you either this afternoon or tomorrow, I promise. I know you’re upset that I’m continually cheating on you with this “Truth Wins Out” website, which makes you cry like Meghan McCain.

Yesterday, we laughed and laughed at a candid video of Dr. Marcus Bachmann, husband of Michele, and the funny thing about the video didn’t even have to be stated, but simply was understood by writers and commenters alike! If the joke had a name, though, it would be “Mary.”

Well, let’s do that again, as we listen to Mr. Crazy Eyes on a radio show, telling us how to not be gay anymore, by way of Jesus/paying Mr. Crazy Eyes with money. Hell, let us live-blog it!

0:00 – 1:15: Boring
1:15: Christian counselors should not ask people how they feel! It is an abomination!
1:35: Christian counselors and friends should be calling their patients sinners!
2:00: We should be wise about from whom we receive “help.”
2:10: Sounds really gay when he references Better Homes & Gardens magazine. I guess they don’t get Dwell in rural Minnesota.
2:45: What do you say to your gay child? Dr. Bachmann suggests that adolescents will question their sexuality, and that this is normal! But this does not mean we should go down the Road of Homosexuality!
3:35: “Barbarians need to be educated, they need to be disciplined.” Great, gay kids are barbarians.
4:00: “Let’s fayth it, what’s our culture, what is our public school system doing today? They are giving FULL, WIDE OPEN doors” to encourage kids to think and do gay things.

Summing up, your gay child might be gay, but that does not mean your gay child should go down the ROAD OF HOMOSEXUALITY, and should instead stay on the Sidewalk of Straightness, which leads to the Cove of Crazy Eyes, like Marcus Bachmann did.

So that was fun!

Now, for balance, let’s hear about gays from Michele Bachmann herself, as played by Wonkette’s Sara Benincasa!

“Noooooo! Noooooo! Noooooo! Nooooo! Nooooo! Nooooo! Noooooo! NO GAYS!”

[Wonkette: Michele (and Marcus) Bachmann Will Cure Your Nasty Case of the Gays]